The First Time

Summer means a break from high school for Wes Stern (as Kenny Leeds), Ricky Kelman (as Mike Decker), and Wink Roberts (as Tommy Kingsley). The three young men ride bikes, go swimming, and think about having sex. After his widowed father goes off on a pleasure trip with a sexy secretary, Mr. Stern is sent to live with his grandparents, in Buffalo. Meanwhile, Mr. Kelman and Mr. Roberts are sent to summer camp.

Stern is lonely, and writes to his friends about traveling across the border to Canada (at Niagara Falls), where claims to be a regular customer at a whorehouse he calls "Rosie's". Naturally, Kelman and Roberts want a piece of the action, and surprise Stern with a visit. The lads are eager to sample the prostitutes Stern has bragged about - but, of course, the brothel doesn't exist. After seeing the more asexual Canadian sights, the three pick-up beautiful Jacqueline Bisset (as Anna), and take her to their hotel room…

Just ridiculous. Stern, the leading man, is supposed to be playing a young teenager (he will be returning to high school in the fall). He is obviously too old, but has a goofy quality that helps make the movie's "coming-of-age" theme bearable. Stern's plaintive questions to Ms. Bisset about why girls don't like him is nicely played. Bisset has about one and a half sexy scenes (you'll see a lot more of Niagara Falls). So, why would Bisset's English accent be a problem at the Canadian border?

**** The First Time (6/11/69) James Neilson ~ Wes Stern, Jacqueline Bisset, Ricky Kelman, Wink Roberts

This is a wonderful film, charming, light-hearted, modest, wise, touching and witty. It may be the best film about sex. The whole movie works: acting, directing, music, camera. The critics are wrong. One called it "embarrassingly sentimental". Don't believe them. It's a true classic. You'll like yourself and the human race more after enjoying it. You may shed a tear of gratitude at the end, and a tear of regret that they don't make them like this anymore. Every young person should see it.

Wow, not exactly ahead of our time, are we? In fact, this late 60's "R-rated" coming-of-age, teen sex comedy has more of a Leave It To Beaver feel to it than anything else. Personally, I am partial to the beav. I think it was a great show. And if you agree, then you should have no problem over-looking how lame The First Time really is. As I said, we're talking late 60's here, not late 2,000's. The First Time is from a time when innocent wasn't quite so lame. Unlike now, when the theaters are clogged with Highschool Musicals and whatnot. Now that's lame. Anyway, this sweet-natured flick stars the now legendary Wes Stern, as Kenny, teenage virgin, who's dad has just sent him off to live with the grandparents. With no new school chums to replace his old ones, Kenny decides to write his old chums, Mike and little Tommy, a letter. With nothing interesting to write about, Kenny does the only logical thing, and tells wild tales involving whore-houses, and other keen times at Niagara Falls. Naturally, Mike and little Tommy want in on the action, and pay Kenny a visit, demanding keen times... Problem!! Kenny is finding out the hard way that there is no such thing as a little, white lie. But nevermind that. Kenny is old enough to know that friends don't lie to friends about whore-houses, because they will always call you out on it, even if, deep down, they probably want nothing to do with the situation. So, anyway, it's off to Niagara Falls, Canada, as we watch Kenny lead his unsuspecting pals on a wild Canadian goose chase, while little Tommy whines over and over and over again about the maid of the mist. Gee, I sure do hope Mike belts him. After making up more lies about his favorite brothel being shut down, the eager trio manage to find another one. And then, it happened. The guys run into none other than Jaqueline Bisset. At last... Prostitute!! And now, this is the part where we watch these little gippers try and get acquainted with their unfriendly, yet attractive new friend. They follow her around Niagara Falls to Buffalo, NY. Never so much as hinting as to what they're allegedly after, as if everything will just work itself out. A sad, awkward series of events (including the inevitable ride on the maid of the mist) is what follows. A truly entertaining movie. Except Jaqueline Bisset. I know it ain't a popular opinion, but her portrayal of Anna is mind-numbingly dull. I assume she just couldn't act, and she seemed uncomfortable in front of a camera. How these three tools mistook her for a hooker is what makes a big fat joke out of an already questionable story. Despite how ridiculous and awkward this movie actually is, I enjoyed it way too much not to recommend it, which could only mean one of two things. Either The First Time ain't all that bad, or hell, maybe I'm every bit as lame as Kenny and pals. A scary thought. But jeepers. Niagara Falls sure is swell. 7/10

Three big-talking teenage boys from New York, randy with bravado but no sexual experience, cross the Canadian border at Niagara Falls in search of prostitutes; instead, they chance upon a lovely young British woman they assume is a prostitute but who isn't. Amiable piffle from former-Disney director James Neilson and screenwriters Jo Heims and Roger Smith (who also co-produced) isn't very bright or witty, but has a certain shuffling charm--it's also not the last time Jacqueline Bisset would find herself between the sheets with a younger man. The boys' collective misunderstanding of the distressed girl's background isn't belabored...and when she realizes they thought she was for hire, she doesn't make a fuss, either. Still, this trio of would-be studs is rather colorless--one of the boys leers a lot while the other two look petrified--though heavy-lidded Wes Stern has a nicely low-keyed personality and Bisset seems genuinely touched by his youthful confusion. Neilson waits until nearly the end to turn the lights down low; in the meantime, we are treated to a tour of the Falls and downtown Ontario, which is fine for those seeking a nostalgic trip back in time rather than a movie with a substantial plot. ** from ****

I caught this on a late-night cable showing having never heard of let alone seen before. I logged onto IMDb afterward just to see how old Bissett was at the time. She looks great in this movie although she really doesn't say or do a whole much. All in all she's very quiet, very English, very reserved -- and surprisingly at the age of 24 or whatever, still very much the 'older more famous' Bisset we're all familiar with.

The movie itself goes by without much of anything happening, yet you're still compelled to watch. Someone mentioned the simple street scenes and I totally agree, it's actually very interesting to watch Bisset lead the boys around town, to simply see them just walking around in 1969 with no music or dialog.

The 'plot' is basically the 3 boys pick up Bisset who they think is a hooker with the intention of losing their virginity by pulling a sex train on her (so far no one has mentioned the 'yuck' factor, but that's all I could think about). They finally get her back to their hotel room, persuade her into taking her clothes off and getting in bed, and after some discussion in the hall, they each go in and one by one make their move (or non-move) on her, then come out later and lie about it because by then Bisset's actually peacefully asleep from exhaustion. So Stern goes in thinking he getting 'sloppy thirds', yet doesn't cringe at all at the thought that he is about to roll around in his two other friends' DNA surely left all over her. Sorry, not romantic or cute, just gross. But Bisset, now awake and having been just dumped via phone call by some mysterious 'boyfriend', has pity on Stern. She now knows their true motives with her but since Stern is more sincere and less a blow hard than his friends, in a moment of weakness she actually has sex with him, on a dinky mattress with the transom window open so people all over the hotel should have heard them (as HE should have heard his friends supposedly doing it).

Bisset never really gets naked but looks really good in her underwear and she's actually very good in this role. It's an interesting time-capsule of a movie but that's about it.

The funniest unintentional part of the movie was when they finally get on the "Maid of the Mist" at Niagra Falls. It's obviously a studio set and the crew is clearly simply using a rain machine to blow water on the faces of the cast to simulate the mist, and although she's acting 'having fun', you can tell Bisset hates the rain on her face!