Dracula (The Dirty Old Man)

A very low-budget and silly '60s sexploitation flick in which every character has been badly dubbed in-studio with corny comedy dialogue, Dracula (The Dirty Old Man) somehow manages to make frequent female nudity and soft-core sex boring.

Repetition is the order of the day, the film opening with a baffling voice-over that repeats the phrases 'beautiful hill' and 'blue mountain' more times than anyone could ever care to hear. The film then proceeds to repeat the same supposedly sexy formula over and over, with Alucard/Dracula (Vince Kelley, alternating between a Jewish accent and Transylvanian) stripping each girl brought to him by his assistant Irving Jackal-man (Billy Whitton), tying them up, fondling their body, and biting them on the breast.

I guess this wouldn't have been too bad had all of the women in the film been absolute scorchers, but only two of the ladies are certifiably hot - the stranded motorist (Rebecca Reynolds) and Susan (Adarainne) - and only the latter gets her kit off.

The action occasionally strays into iffy territory with Jackal-man raping two of his victims (continuing to hump away even after one has died), but the majority of the film is pure 'meh!': badly shot, poorly edited, with lousy 'special effects' (including a fake bat on a stick), and a mundane jazzy lounge muzak soundtrack.

The first 20 or so minutes of this film are really hilarious. REALLY funny. The dialogue and overdubbing are so beautiful. This is the best example of bad dubbing I have ever seen. Who knows, maybe they were doing it on purpose. Either way, the words they chose to use as the script are almost like they didn't know the original story and were making it up as it went along. Telling jokes the whole time and making funny comments about everything that you wouldn't normally hear a character in a movie say. They cut on each other and talk about how they have to go to the bathroom and juvenile things like that. I doubt it translated much at all from the original.

After the funny parts at the beginning (like the opening monologue about the blue mountains), the movie goes downhill and becomes monotonous. It's like soft core. But it's sort of rude! Dracula gets these women naked and then insults them because they have small breasts or are too heavy or something. Usually you have a naked woman on the screen and everyone is excited. But Dracula is very snooty and picky! It's sort of funny, but also sort of mean. Especially since I don't think he was supposed to say those things originally.

A funny movie because of the new script. The best parts are at the beginning. The wolf man is very well done. Dracula is kind of sexy. The naked woman are too much for me. Funny then porny.

A big piece of ****! But the scene with the werewolf is so ridiculous, you won't believe it! Also, consider that even in original version it's not synchro. Super low budget movie.

Actually, this is a good movie to watch when you wanna have fun with your friends. Hard to find also. A must see for the bad movies fans!

Saw this movie a couple of years ago as part of a very very small film festival. I remember we where about 8 or 10 people there, and one of the participants threatent to walk out and have his movie back which kind of scared the arranger since he would loose about 10% of his income on the show. He kept saying that the guy should hold on and wait, the next movie would make everything all right. Sadly this was not so, until Dracula (The Dirty Old Man) was shown (about # 6 in the show I think out of 8). The guy who had complained was, like the rest of us, completely shocked. The completely ridicuoles dialog and everything cramped into the movie to make it appear longer, the sudden scene with no connection to the rest of the plot of older man with a young girl (probably the producer wanting to get something out of the nude girls himself, and also by far the most pretty girl in the film) and the naked women being raped by a fully dressed werewolf saved the festival for that guy complaining, completely taking back everything he had said and praising the show for being so strange he could do nothing else but love it. And the arranger saved is 10% loss.

This is a really awful "comedy" film about a vampire who turns a guy into a werewolf so wolfie can kidnap girls and bring them back to a cave for his master to feel up. Even the wolf gets to have sex with a couple of them. We do get to see some naked chicks but that's about it.

It could have worked as a pretty gruesome movie if it had been played straight (don't ask me how); instead, they opted for the comedy routine, and it's about as funny as a car wreck. The finished product plays like a terrible episode of the MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER television show, where the original sound seems like it's been turned off so a group of dummies can try to narrate their own stupid dialogue over the action, in between guzzling their six packs. 0 out of ****