Don't Drink the Water

With this version of Don't Drink The Water, you get Jackie Gleason (who throws 100% of himself into his character), as well as a script that occasionally sparkles with witty Woody Allen one liners. Add Estelle Parsons as the always-calm-in-the-presence-of-a-hysterical-husband wife, and Ted Bessell in his trademarked 1970's bumbler role, and you've got a pretty nice weekend afternoon of entertainment.

I was particularly intrigued by Joan Delaney as the couple's beautiful daughter and Ted Bessell's love interest. She had a very interesting face, nice appearance and style, and did a good job of maintaining her own presence opposite some of the great scene stealers of that era (Gleason, Parsons, Michael Constantine, Avery Schrieber). I've tried to do a little "whatever-happened-to" search on the internet, but Delaney seemed to have disappeared from the acting scene without a trace after the early 1970's. That's a shame.

In any event, I'm a big Jackie Gleason and Woody Allen fan, and this movie seems to be the closest they ever came to teaming up (although there is little evidence that Woody Allen had anything to do with this film beyond having written the script for the Broadway play). Their participation pushed this movie up to the seven-star range for me.

Estelle Parsons and Jackie Gleason are perfect together as a Jewish couple from Newark, New Jersey who are going to travel to Europe together with their adult daughter, Susan. Somehow, the trip is more of a disaster where they are considered by Vulgarians to be American spies or infidels. Nothing could be further from the truth. Despite Woody Allen's script, the movie never really flows or develops to it's potential. Despite the premise, you can't help but enjoy the sparring nature of Parsons and Gleason on screen as a middle aged couple. Gleason is a Kosher caterer from New Jersey and she's his housewife. The time spent in Vulgaria is at the American embassy during the cold war in Eastern Europe. Despite some good laughs, the film could have been better with this cast of characters. I enjoyed Parsons and Gleason together.

Comedic story of Americans traveling in foreign countries, and the mis-adventures they run into along the way. Unlike most other writers here, I like the 1969 Jackie Gleason version of Don't Drink the Water MUCH better than the later one starring Woody Allen, who WROTE the thing originally. In the original, the irony is that Jackie Gleason is a big and blustery loudmouth ( a real stretch for him) , but up until the end, not much gets accomplished, in spite of all his yelling and storming around. Also stars Estelle Parsons (Bonnie and Clyde) and Ted Bessell (probably best known as the hen-pecked boyfriend on That Girl). When the diplomat leaves the country, his son Axel (Bessel) fills in, and things take turn after turn for the worse. The debate to remake movies or Not to remake movies continues. Directed by Howard Morris, who had directed both live action and animated comedies for years.

I have to side with those who find this version of Woody Allen's play much inferior to the remake by Allen himself which, ironically, has a greater right to be called the original since it was Allen's attempt to show the story as he envisioned it. I think much of the problem lies in the fact that at the time this version was made Allen wasn't yet a respected director and no one worried much about preserving the "Woody Allen touch" --- except Woody Allen, of course.

Interesting note on the comparison between Jackie Gleason's take on the lead character with Allen's own portrayal years later. If you were to combine the physical bellicosity of Jackie Gleason with the sardonic Jewish humor of Woody Allen you might get someone like the recently deceased Lou Jacobi --- who originated the part on Broadway and who was, in Allen's opinion, largely responsible for the success of the play.

(By the way, I stole the line in my summary from Harpo Marx, who used it to describe the phenomenally successful Broadway production of ABIE'S IRISH ROSE.)

Seeing as Woody Allen was the credited writer and there was a talented director and cast involved, Don't Drink the Water had much potential. But while it is nowhere near as bad as some have said it could have been much better. It does have a fair few bright spots. It is not a bad-looking film, even if very 60s, the fashions are lovely to look at and give a real sense of nostalgia. Jackie Gleason does his absolute best but while he can be a little too abrasive he is very amusing. Richard Libertini also looks as if he's having fun, making his dialogue funnier than they deserved to be, and Michael Constantine gives very skilled support. There are a few good gags and pieces of dialogue, like Gleason and Constantine's confrontation, the spontaneous riot against the US embassy, "do you think it was a place that sold, guns, guards and barbed wire?" and the ahead of its time "that's the state department for you". Estelle Parssons is a mixed bag, she has moments where she's charming and her chemistry with Gleason is reasonably good but I do agree actually that she does come across as too much of an airhead. Ted Bussell is little more than a charmless dunce and the rest of the cast have nothing to do and can't do anything to make them shine. The film also feels very pedestrian, with a ridiculously overlong introduction, a story that can drag and be bloated and has some slack editing that really hurts the timing of most of the gags. The script has moments but for Allen, due to how much is changed, it lacks the sharpness, bite and wit that you associate with Allen to the extent it didn't sound like Allen's writing. It also didn't feel farcical enough, there was need of more energy, the humour was uneven and it could be too serious and not broad enough. The music sounded tacky and forgettable and really dated the film. All in all, there are some bright spots and there's much worse out there but Don't Drink the Water to me was rather average. 5/10 Bethany Cox