- Alice Henderson: You know how children are, they're very curious. He wanted to know why I had a tee-tee...
- Psychiatrist: Pardon me? I don't know what a tee-tee is.
- Alice Henderson: A vagina.
- Psychiatrist: Oh, it's a pet expression of yours.
- Alice Henderson: Yes, you know words: tee-tee, tinkle, po-po, wee-wee, kee-kee, poo-poo.
- Psychiatrist: I had never heard tee-tee before.
- Alice Henderson: What expression do you use with your children?
- Psychiatrist: Vagina.
- Psychiatrist: When we come right up to the sex, you become embarrassed.
- Alice Henderson: What am I... What would you like... What am I supposed to think?
- Psychiatrist: I have no wants. Say what you think you'd like to say.
- Alice Henderson: Do you think I need this? Do you really think you can help me?
- Psychiatrist: I think it'd be useful to talk some more. I don't know for sure if I can help you or not. Do you think you can help yourself?
- Alice Henderson: Ted is a very nervous man! Now sex is very important to a man! You know that!
- Psychiatrist: Well, it seems that our time is up for today.
- Carol Sanders: If Bob says it's alright and Alice says it's alright and I say it's alright...
- Ted Henderson: It just seems wrong.
- Carol Sanders: Oh, it's not. Look, it's just nice feelings, it's something that we've never done before, it's physical fun! It's - it's just sex! Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
- Ted Henderson: Well, I do feel aroused. I can't deny that.
- Carol Sanders: I didn't do it because you did it!
- Bob Sanders: Why then? Oh, why, God Almighty!
- Carol Sanders: I did it because I wanted to do it!
- Bob Sanders: Why?
- Carol Sanders: Because! Because I wanted to do it! I-I-I just wanted to see if I could do it.
- Bob Sanders: Why in my house? Why in my bed?
- Carol Sanders: Well, Bob, it just seems like a convenient thing. You were not going to be here.
- Bob Sanders: He's not in my pajamas, is he?
- Carol Sanders: No!
- Ted Henderson: What are you doing Alice?
- Alice Henderson: I'm getting undressed.
- Carol Sanders: Alice, relax.
- Alice Henderson: Oh! Relax!
- Ted Henderson: Stop it, Alice
- Alice Henderson: I am being honest! I am doing what I feel like doing!
- Carol Sanders: Well, what do you feel like doing?
- Alice Henderson: I feel like doing what we came up here to do.
- Carol Sanders: And what is that?
- Alice Henderson: Orgy! Have an orgy! Orgy! Orgy. Orgy! Orgy!
- Alice Henderson: Listen! You tell me why do you think we come out here?
- Carol Sanders: To have fun!
- Alice Henderson: And what is more fun than an orgy! Orgy!
- Carol Sanders: Oh, insight! Oh, Alice! Alice, what a beautiful woman! Oh! You see. You see right through us. You're beautiful! You know where it's at.
- Alice Henderson: Now, do you wanna do it just like that with no feeling on my part?
- Ted Henderson: Yeah.
- Carol Sanders: My darling, you did not do a terrible thing. You told me about it. If you hadn't have told me, then that would have been cheating!
- Bob Sanders: I know what cheating is. Cheating is when you ball a chick that's not your wife That's cheating!
- Bob Sanders: What do you feel about - my hair?
- Ted Henderson: Your hair? Well, eh, your hair? I don't want to offend you; but, a majority of my day isn't spent in ruminating about your hair.
- Carol Sanders: Be honest, Ted.
- Ted Henderson: Your hair looks very good on you.
- Carol Sanders: You're full of crap.
- Bob Sanders: Cop out. That's what we call a cop out.
- Carol Sanders: Yeah. That's a cop out, Ted.
- Bob Sanders: Can't you feel? How do you feel about it?
- Bob Sanders: You're playing games. You're playing a emancipated woman, a hip chick that doesn't care what her husband does.
- Carol Sanders: What was she like?
- Bob Sanders: What?
- Carol Sanders: The girl.
- Bob Sanders: Very nice.
- Carol Sanders: Pretty?
- Bob Sanders: Yeah. She looked a little like Candy Bergen.
- Carol Sanders: Too bad she didn't look like Edgar Bergen.
- Alice Henderson: I got angry at him once. I don't know, I think it was because Bob and I - did I say Bob?
- [laughs]
- Alice Henderson: That was a Freudian slip. Ted - *Ted* and I - you're looking at me - Ted and I were going to have sex and - wanted to have sex - and - well, Jimmy walked into the room. And it was daytime and I got nervous. So, I scolded at him for not knocking on the door before he walked in.
- Ted Henderson: You know there's a double standard operating here and I'm not going to play that game. I am not going to do anything I don't want my wife to do.
- Bob Sanders: A toast - to Alice.
- Alice Henderson: Hey, why me?
- Bob Sanders: Huh? Because, you're nice.
- Alice Henderson: Hey, hey, hey, here's a toast to Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.
- Ted Henderson: That's a good - I'll drink to us.
- Bob Sanders: Us and horns!
- Alice Henderson: Of the grooviest people I've ever known.
- Ted Henderson: Hey, I'm really getting drunk, you know that? Crocked!
- Carol Sanders: I have no interests in sleeping with Ted.
- Ted Henderson: I have no interests in sleeping with Carol.
- Alice Henderson: Oh, you'd *love* to sleep with Carol!
- Carol Sanders: Oh, Alice!
- Alice Henderson: And you're dying to do it with Ted!
- Carol Sanders: We have to be straight about this. Now, I'm beginning to feel something. I am beginning to feel excited. And do you want me to deny that?
- Alice Henderson: I have such hostility for Bob, I cannot tell you.
- Ted Henderson: I feel sorry for both of them.
- Alice Henderson: That's all that's on their minds, is sex. Sex, sex, sex, and sex. If it's on your mind all the time it can't be a very good thing, can it? I mean, shouldn't it just happen? It used to just happen!
- Alice Henderson: Sex is very important to a man! You know that!
- Psychiatrist: Well, it seems that your time is up for today.
- Alice Henderson: Maybe I don't trust Ted?
- Psychiatrist: Let's talk about that on Thursday.
- Alice Henderson: Do you think that that's the possibility that maybe that's what it's about?
- Psychiatrist: Let's continue Thursday and we'll discuss that if that's helpful.
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By what name was Bob, Carol, Ted & Alice (1969) officially released in India in English?
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