La venganza de Hércules

Hercules (Mickey Hargitay) must save his true love (Jayne Mansfield) from an evil queen.

First of all, that plot really has very little to do with the film. More or less nothing. Hercules is distracted from his love by the queen of the Amazons... but this is really just a subplot. But anyway, the hydra is awesome in its own silly way and these are awesome costumes. Everything about this film is awesome. Awesome. Awesome. I am using that word repeatedly on purpose, because no other word sums this up.

Yeah, it may be more than a bit cheesy, but the Italians had a way of taking the Hercules story and running with it. Mario Bava did, I think even Lucio Fulci did it. Why not Bragaglia? Luca Palmieri is my go-to source for Italian film reviews. All he has to say about this one is that Mansfield is "super-shapely". Great analysis, Luca.

(Upon my second viewing of the film, the cheesiness sort of outweighed the awesome. But it would not be prudent to change the review now just because my opinion changed somewhat, would it?)

Mickey Hargitay is Hercules in this go-around, with wife Jayne Mansfield playing a couple of roles in a movie in which all the women seem to be what Jane Russell called 'full-figured women' in those Playtex commercials. Hargitay rides around in a very short chiton that must have caused considerable chafing, speaks with an Italian accent in the dubbed version I saw, and fights a three-headed hydra that looks and moves like a carousel critter.

There's almost nothing positive to say about this movie, which looks like it was made for an audience of libidinous five-year-olds.

The film begins with Hercules returning home after some time--only to discover that his lady love is dead as are just about everyone! It seems that the evil King of Ecalia and his armies are responsible and it's up to our hero to kick butt and right wrongs.

The fact that "The Loves of Hercules" was a terrible film should have come as no major surprise for me, as every Hercules/Maciste film I have ever seen from Italy have been rather bad. In the late 50s to about the mid-1960s, the Italian film industry produced a ton of these films. Most starred some foreigner (such as Steve Reeves, though there were GOBS of others, such as Peter Lupus and Mark Forest) and had otherwise all-Italian casts--with generally lousy dubbing in the English language versions I've seen. So why did I watch this bad film? Well, curiosity. I was curious to see the stars--Mickey Hargitay and his then wife, Jayne Mansfield. Mansfield plays two characters and Hargitay plays Hercules.

So what did I like about the film? Well, Miss Mansfield looked nice. I particularly liked seeing her in a brown wig for a change of pace. Now you know it's bad when this is the only thing I really liked! The acting was stilted, the plot was quite boring and for an epic, it sure was amazingly small and non-epic! Overall, it's no better or worse than any of the other films of the genre--which isn't saying much. My advice is see a couple, then you've pretty much seen them all. And, if you want to see the most enjoyable of these, see the much later film "Hercules in New York" (with Arnold Schwarzenegger). It is so incredibly bad that it's actually a lot of fun to watch! As for "The Loves of Hercules", it's forgettable and dumb--no more, no less.

HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA definitely ranks in the top 5 of the hundreds of Hercules films made in Italy in the 1960's (the others being HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD; the original Steve Reeves HERCULES; THE FURY OF HERCULES; the delirious THE WITCH'S CURSE; and the equally gonzo HERCULES PRISONER OF EVIL.) But back to HYDRA -- first, you've got Jayne Mansfield and Mickey Hargitay, and the fact that they eventually married, and that Mansfield died tragically, lends an undeniable poignancy to this movie. There's no way around it, it's part of Hollywood history, and it makes this a very melancholy portrait of two people falling in love. Second, there's Hargitay -- and dammit, he's a REALLY GOOD Hercules, possibly the best on a pure acting level (and Hargitay wasn't really an actor, so that's saying something.) He's dubbed (of course), but there's a real emotional yearning quality that comes across here, and he puts his heart and soul into almost every scene. Watch a bunch of the other Hercules actors and you'll see what I mean. Best of all, the movie veers off into delirious Alexander Ptushko territory about halfway through, when Herc encounters the three-headed Hydra in the land of the Amazons. Anyone who loves Ray Harryhausen type fantasy films will get a kick out of this one. The weird-ass forest of human trees is especially good. Definitely a winner.

"The Loves of Hercules" was one of two peplum films featuring Hercules (the other being "Goliath and the Dragon") released in 1960, following the success of "Hercules" and its sequel both starring Steve Reeves. This marks American sex-symbol/actress Jayne Mansfield's only peplum entry, because, I guess, what to do when you have a hunky slab of bodybuilder beef lying around the house but cast him as the legendary strongman and play his main squeeze? It's a good idea on paper.

Mansfield and Hungarian bodybuilder Mickey Hargitay married in 1956 and this was the second film they made together. Both have been better elsewhere, but let's face it, their most enduring and worthwhile contribution to the performing arts was producing daughter Mariska. It certainly isn't this turkey, which sees Herc buffeted by a succession of women who do him wrong. Indeed, the theme here seems to be that musclemen should stick to slaying monsters and performing heroic feats because women will just mess with you. Hargitay, despite his build, is not very convincing in the role -- he has a round, boyish face that in this context makes him look more like a lost and confused lad than a god among men. Mansfield's performance is too self-absorbed and anachronistic to be anything but distracting. She has a dual role as the good Queen Deianira and the evil Queen Hippolyta and neither Hercules nor viewers can tell them apart. (Hint: her hair color changes.) Oddly, the two real life partners have no on-screen chemistry here.

None of the rest of the cast are particularly interesting, the set pieces are unremarkable, as are the set design and costumes. The tree-monsters the Amazons transform men into are a little spooky, and the large cast of extras look like they are having fun. Despite being filmed at Cinecitta, this looks as cheap as it probably was -- especially the monsters Hercules battles, which includes the paperiest of paper mache Hydras and an emaciated looking gorilla suit. The only energetic fight sequence is when Hargitay dispatches Mansfield's blowhard fiancé by picking him up, spinning him around a bit and throwing him across the room. This is the only moment the film manages to sell the idea that you shouldn't tangle with Hercules. This is only for Hercules and/or Mansfield or Hargitay completists -- everyone else can skip it.