Harlow, la venus platinada

An all around lurid film about sex symbol and superstar, Jean Harlow. There's no real point to the film, other than to present star Baker as a sex symbol herself. Her performance is nothing like her "Baby Doll," and everyone else is either bored with the material or reduced to overacting.

It's hard to believe anybody involved in the production of this glossy nonsense ever actually saw any of the real Jean Harlow's movies (none of the titles of which have been used). And apart from Harlow herself (who was seven years younger when she died than Carroll Baker was when she made this movie) only Paul Bern - played by Peter Lawford, who looked nothing like him - hasn't had his name changed. (Having been dead for over thirty years he presumably had no living next of kin liable to sue.)

But it's a sign of how standards have plummeted since this was made that while this was laughed off screens and died at the boxoffice in 1965, forty years later Scorsese's equally phoney 'The Aviator' (in which Harlow is fleetingly impersonated by a brassy-looking Gwen Stefani) won a fistful of Oscars.

This is one of two films released at the same time about the tragic, original blonde bombshell. Carrol Baker is certainly beautiful in the role, but the strange mixture of 1930's dresses and 1960s spike heels and hairdos undermine the attempts at any accurate 1930's atmosphere. The music in the background would be more at home on an episode of "Pete and Gladys" than in a story of old Hollywood. Leslie Nielsen's character has a bachelor pad that would be the envy of Hugh Hefner. There are no true references to any of Harlow's work. She never (to my knowledge) ever took a pie in the face or was sprayed with seltzer water. (She did have an impressive walk-on in an early Laurel and Hardy short). Her earliest film appearances were as a film extra in such pictures as "The Love Parade", 1929. Her breakthrough role was in the Howard Hughes 1930 epic, "Hell's Angels". Her performances got better and better as she went under contract to MGM and made some truly classic films there including "Dinner at Eight." None of this is shown in "Harlow." The character of the Mother is shown to be pretty much sympathetic as played by Angela Lansbury. What is glossed over is the fact that Jean Harlow's real Mother was a Christian Scientist who forbade her daughter real treatment for her "illness", reportedly caused by the beatings she suffered at the hands of Paul Bern, until it was too late to make any real difference. The inaccurate facts presented in this film could be due to the fact that many of the principals involved in Jean Harlow's life were still living in 1965, the year that both of these "biopics" were released. If you want an accurate biography of Jean Harlow, see some of her actual films and read one of the many decent books about MGM. On it's own, the film "Harlow" is mildly entertaining in a "Valley of the Dolls" sort of way. The Carol Lynley version of this story is only slightly more accurate than this glossy, Technicolor version. I haven't seen it in years, and therefore cannot give an accurate review of it.

Years ago I read Irving Schulman's book Harlow upon which this film is allegedly based. Other than Jean's family the only other real characters were her agent Arthur Landau and her second husband Paul Bern, played by Red Buttons and Peter Lawford respectively. All the people she worked with and for at MGM are eliminated from the story. In fact none of the titles of her films are mentioned.

There's a reason that MGM didn't do the story of one of its legendary stars. Too much dirty linen would be exposed and why would Paramount who produced this want to get into litigation with a rival?

Landau who was still alive and the source for much of Schulman's book is a character. The seminal event of Harlow's private life, her disastrous marriage to an impotent man was crucial. And the overbearing mother (Angela Lansbury) and gigolo husband (Raf Vallone) all had to be in the story. But any reasonably knowledgeable fan of Jean Harlow won't recognize her at all.

Caroll Baker plays Harlow in this and the real Harlow was never as naive as Baker plays her. She was a pretty smart girl, sadly dominated by a first class stage mother and her husband who fed off her celebrity. She did in fact have three marriages, one before and after Paul Bern, so Jean was acquainted with the facts of life.

I did rather enjoy Martin Balsam as the Louis B. Mayer like head of Majestic Pictures.. I think Balsam channeled Mayer pretty good in his performance.

By accounts of her contemporaries, Jean Harlow was a warm, gracious, and generous soul. Rosalind Russell in her memoirs said she was a good friend and generous to her coworkers and they worked together in China Seas and Reckless. William Powell who worked with her in Libeled Lady and Reckless and was going to marry her said she was not at all like the films that used her life had her.

Harlow had two tellings of her life in 1965, the second was a cheap production that starred Carol Lynley, but had a few more facts straight about her life. Jean's story ought to be remade now, too many people with vested interests were still alive in 1965

Carol Baker is stunning in 1960s hair and gowns. Unfortunately, the film takes place in the 1930s. The soundtrack also contains 1960s lounge and twist music. This film is mostly fictional and has nothing to do with Harlow's life, but it is fun.

My favorite line is when she turns down a tryst with a famous actor. She tells him she has a date for dinner and a film. The actor says, "I can't believe you're turning down a chance of "being" with me for a night of indigestion and a stiff neck." Harlow replies, "Aren't you offering the same thing?" LOL. Think about it.