Simbad contro i sette saraceni

Ali Baba and the seven Saracens is one of the Italian made flicks with no budget and god-awful dubbing. So why bother? Two words; Bella Cortes. Huzzah, what a babe! She puts most other women in these sword and sandal flicks to shame. Plus shes kind and sweet and the only actor in this who doesn't feel the need to shout every line of dialog.

The plot, if you can find one, concerns Ali Baba ( or it might be Sinbad) seeking to get the Golden Throne away from Omar the tyrant. Actually Gordon Mitchell play Omar pretty well, its just no motivation is ever given for his brutality. For that matter Ali Baba never seems very heroic either. Still there are some fun scenes, Jukki the midget is a different hero and the whipping of the harem girls and the half-crazed but good-hearted Eunnich is fun. The music here is very close to the themes heard in "The BLue Rose" with Steve Reeves. Same composer? This is probably more fun to watch with a group so you can boo and hiss at the appropriate times. The big plus here is Bella Cortez as Fatima, wow! For that alone, its worth a look.

in the version i saw, ali baba and the seven saracens, the actors did not so much "act" as they walked around and shouted lines in the ear of the person standing next to them --- lines such as "swine dog, if i ever see your face again i will kill you. now go away and fetch me my dinner" and "no, really, nothing is wrong. AAAAA!!! AAAA!!! no, its nothing. AAAA!!! AAA!!! AAA!!! i tell you its nothing. AAAA!!!"

however it may not be the fault of the actors, considering the english dubbing is worse than any japanese horror flick.

ali baba falls in love with a girl who saves his life. he soon gets captured (read: gets knocked out by getting hit in the head by a pole) which stalls his chances to overthrow omar, a clint eastwood type who broods a lot, yells a lot, and likes to walk around topless. off the the dungeon goes ali baba.

meanwhile omar discovers that in order to become accepted by the magi and become faja (your guess is as good as mine) he must fight the saracens when "the moon blocks the light of the sun."

before i continue i must mention the orchestration which seems to go by the rule "fill any silence with a horn and a cymbal" and on occasion you can actually hear the dialogue clearly.

okay. while fatima, the girl ali baba loves, is taken to a dungeon over-seen by a shawl-encrusted nymph with a whip, ali baba befriends a midget who is impressed by ali's manliness. the midget, named "jookie", crawls through the air vents (!!!) and comes upon the dungeon where fatima is. he interrupts their conversation about eunichs (!!!) to tell them of an escape plan at midnight and by "midnight" he means "noon" since all the action takes place during the day. then comes the escape which leaves poor jookie tear-ridden.

there is a swordfight. fatima leads ali baba behind a decorative pillar and kisses him. omar emerges and smacks a few people around while flashing his nipples at the camera. wow. this is in the first 45 minutes!

as for rating the film i must say i was entertained quite a bit by the lack of talent all around. the ms3k value is high so watching with a group of people with that in mind might be a good idea.

Omar (Gordon Mitchell) intends to be the winner of a tournament to the death between the 8 leaders of the desert tribes. His most despised opponent is Sinbad (Dan Harrison, dubbed 'Alibaba' in the English version). Sinbad is in love with the beautiful princess Fatima (Bella Cortez), and when they both fall into the hands of Omar, he promises to Sinbad: "You are going to die a slow and agonizing death in personal combat, and Fatima is going to watch you die!" However, that has to wait until the tournament, and a lot could happen until then...

For a cheap oriental adventure, typical genre work of a little known director (Emimmo Salvi), this is surprisingly watchable. Surely the English version suffers a bit from the cuts, the Italian version was more than 10 minutes longer. But the camera work makes the fight scenes or the horse-cart race at the tournament look pretty good and Gordon Mitchell has a menacing, strong presence (he worked with the same director again in '3 Bullets For Ringo'). Nothing special, but acceptable.

To begin with, the name of the most popular Arabian Nights character i.e. Sinbad has been variably spelled over the years and around the world – from Sindbad to Simbad and Szindbad. Moreover, the character of Sinbad has been included in films in which he had nothing to do with originally – the Russian adventure outing SADKO (1953) became THE MAGIC VOYAGE OF SINBAD in the U.S. – just as, in this case, he became Ali Baba when it crossed over the Atlantic! These facts alone are more interesting than anything that occurs in this film…because where are the seafaring adventures of Sinbad The Sailor to be seen in this one, not to mention the sundry creatures he generally struggled with? On the other hand, if this is Ali Baba, whatever happened to the Forty Thieves?

One thing is certain: I wasn't expecting Gordon Mitchell – who had previously portrayed such legendary heroic figures as Achilles and Maciste – to be the villain here, nor Sinbad to be incarnated by a teenager still wet behind the ears, thus making for possibly the lamest Sinbad in film history! Appropriately, then, the seven Saracens of the title are even more anonymous than the hero – and, what's worse, they don't even engage him in battle! At least, the heroine's physical attributes are well in evidence…but that's small compensation when set against the obligatory and unfunny comic relief provided by Sinbad's midget cellmate/sidekick and, for good measure (ugh!) a court eunuch with a bad facial tick; the pits, however, are reached by the silly gyrations of a particularly animated dancer preceding every ritual at court!

Costumes, props, sets and locations are nice, so are the horses and a couple of battle scenes are great but that is just about it. No one in the film caught my attention, the story didn't grab me so I was bored with it. The film wasn't even campy or even unintentionally funny enough to poke fun at.

There is a heroic(?) dwarf crawling around in a tunnel this is suppose to give a little comedy relief but I didn't find him funny at all.

I'll speak of the male's costumes again - I loved them. In particular I loved the guys in black with the red hats. The females were is okay looking dresses, only one or two of them I found barely pretty.

Costumes, props and sets are really the only thing I liked about the film.

2/10