Night Train to Paris

It is so hard to take Leslie Nielsen seriously in this role. Every so often, you expect him to break into his Inspector Drebbin routine, and the movie might have been watchable if he had. Without giving any spoilers, just two sample observations:

You need a disguise, Of course you do. So you don a Grouch Marx pair of glasses complete with nose and mustache.

You want a clever subterfuge? Dress up one of the characters in a bear costume. This serves the approximate purpose of the gorilla suit in an Abbott & Costello comedy. I wonder who is in that suit now....

Life is too short to waste 90 minutes of it on this flick.

Long before Leslie Neilsen flew the funny skies of "Airplane" or packed heat as Det. Frank Drebben, he rode the rails of one of the dullest railroads on this planet. Yes, he appeared in an ultra cheap spy versus spy melodrama that took place on a train bound from London to Paris filled with New Year's eve revelers. One of the other spy guys, the main one, was an enormous fat freak who eventually dons a grizzly bear costume instead of the usual fright wig and Groucho glasses. Nielsen spends a good part of the 64 minute running time bolting in and out of 3 or 4 sleeping compartments on the anything, but convincing cardboard cutout train trying to recover a packet of a tape recording the French Sortie deem priceless. We're never told what's on the tape, but ultimately, so what, right? We do get to hear the refrains of a couple of nauseating and fake early 1960's tunes while the party goers dance the night away.

Another fine train drama comes to mind which could gave been a big influence on this, the immortal "Night Train to Munde Fine". Surely, the baritone inflections of its theme song, proudly sung by John Carradine, might have influenced the party songs here. Both films deal with the adventures of the spy trade and, as such, are certain hallmarks of what came to be known as "the Swinging 60's".

As the London to Paris Night Train winds its way to conclusion, Leslie Nielsen and his attractive co-star, Miss Israel of 1960, learn what true love can mean. Suffice it to say, the likes of this enchanting train ride will not come this direction again!

Personally I would not call this a 'sleeper' as another reviewer has done. It is just not that good. Not that it is a stinker by any means, but it is only average at best for the spy genre. While watching I had the impression that it was made to capitalize on the James Bond movie "From Russia With Love", in which Aliza Gur had a small part incidentally. Nielson is somewhat of a lackluster leading man and just doesn't have the wit, charm, or presence that is required in this type of film. The best thing about it is the black and white photography and the direction isn't bad either. However, the dialog is corny, the acting never believable, and the plotting poor. The DVD print is top notch with both sound and picture of high quality. And as I said, the B&W photography does lend some interest. Not a throw-away, but average at best.

This is a real "sleeper" (no pun intended), a tight, compact suspense film that really keeps moving throughout its economical running time. The cast is uniformly superb, the direction is assured and fluid, and the film is a reminder of just how many quality low-budget films were made even into the 1960s, before the collapse of the double-bill and the end of black and white as a commercial medium. Well worth looking for; I don't know if the film is available on tape. It should be.

Leslie Nielsen spends most of the final third of this film pursued by a hit man while disguised in joke spectacles with a false moustache; but it's not a comedy!

The jaunty credits sequence suggested more light-hearted fare than we actually get; and despite the fact that four people get murdered the British censor still only gave it a 'U' certificate. Maybe the producers didn't let director Robert Douglas - best remembered by film buffs as a cold-eyed villain in Hollywood swashbucklers, recently turned TV director - in on the joke. This was the only feature film Douglas ever directed - plainly shot on a shoestring even by British 'B' movie standards - and I suspect this was also originally intended for TV as well; especially as the handsome fellow he brought with him from Hollywood to play the lead was also a TV mainstay at the time. (At odd moments he suggests a certain goofy comic flair that might have flourished in more adroit hands; I wonder what became of him?)

Much of the film resembles a rather talky and sub-par British 'B' of the period with the usual obtrusively loud jazz score, redeemed as usual by considerable period charm and occasionally enhanced by excellent location photography by Arthur Lavis and featuring the usual suspects like Eric Pohlmann as a ruthless killer and Cyril Raymond as a detective; neither wearing their usual moustaches, ironically.

The era it evokes now seems as remote as the silent era; with the McGuffin taking what then seemed like the incredibly high-tech form of a spool of magnetic tape containing sensitive political information.