- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon III: Sir, I consider you a member of the lower classes.
- Eric Von Zipper: Hey, that's right. How'd you know that I dropped out of school at the third grade?
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: My dear sir, I am not accustomed to being treated so cavalierly. Nor was my father, H. H. Honeywagon the Second, nor his sainted father, H. H. Honeywagon the First.
- Big Drag: You sure come from a long line of Honeywagons.
- Vivien Clements: Who was that?
- Big Drag: He's a famous art dealer. He's been after my stuff for a long time. But, I won't sell. Big Drag is for the ages. Someday when I'm gone, some proud collector will say, "Look at this! It's a real Drag."
- Eric Von Zipper: Eh, I don't think you understand me. Eric Von Zipper don't buy. He takes!
- Big Drag: That's not nice. I think I'm closed.
- Johnny: Don't worry, Frankie. A guy like you, you can get another chick
- [snaps his fingers]
- Johnny: like that.
- Animal: Yeah, that's right!
- Johnny: Not at this table.
- Frankie: Look, Johnny, I don't want another chick. I don't want anything.
- Deadhead: Hey, I'm with you. That way you don't have to take a chick to dances, you don't have to find a place to smooch, and you don't have to think about what we're always thinking about. Hey, what am I saying?
- Potato Bug: [walks into a brawl] My word, us in England, one would call this a spot of the old nasty. Yes.
- Lady Bug: In France, we would call it an election.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon III: Imagine... boys and girls sleeping on the beach side-by-side, unchaperoned. Now what kind of society is it that would allow such a thing?
- [Eric Von Zipper's motorcycle once again runs away and crashes]
- J.D.: You did it again, boss.
- Eric Von Zipper: You stupid, fix it!
- J.D.: [to another rat pack member] Hey, stupid! Fix it!
- [Seeing that Eric von Zipper of the Malibu Rat Pack is frozen in motion]
- Frankie: Hey you guys, the battle's over! Von Zipper's stoned again!
- Dee Dee, Candy, Animal, Donna, Beach Girl, Frankie, Deadhead, Johnny, Surfer, Surfer: [singing] Summer's here, It's a holiday, School is out, Now its time to play, Just get those school books out of reach, We're gonna go to Bikini Beach! That's it, That's right!
- Dee Dee, Candy, Animal, Donna, Beach Girl: That's where the fun is at!
- Dee Dee, Candy, Animal, Donna, Beach Girl, Frankie, Deadhead, Johnny, Surfer, Surfer: That's it, That's right!
- Frankie, Deadhead, Johnny, Surfer, Surfer: All the chicks are bikini clad...
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: I'm determined to prove that you young people are borderline cases leaning towards feeblemindedness - with an abnormal preoccupation with sex.
- Frankie: Well, that's alright.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: The only display of knowledge being of a carnal nature.
- Frankie: Did you ever see a real hot dog hit the big wild ones at 80 miles an hour?
- Potato Bug: I'm afraid I don't quite understand your - Yankee type colloquialism, old chap.
- Animal: Maybe the Potato Bug will sing something for us?
- Potato Bug: Right-o. Just a few measures.
- [singing]
- Potato Bug: Wooooo! I don't wanna be the richest man, Ooo Ya Ya, All I wanna do is a-hold a your hand, Ooo Ya Ya...
- Vivien Clements: I know these kids. Those surfers are building strong, healthy bodies. And together with the boys who build the dragsters, they'll be responsible for tomorrow's rockets to the moon.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: It might be fitting to warn responsible parents, who grew straight and tall by building our character on the three Rs, that our children have progressed to the three Ss: surfing, speed and sex. Not necessarily in that order.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: I do not deplore physical fitness; but, I do deplore half naked young ladies, if they may be called that, running around in these scanty bikinis!
- Eric Von Zipper: You have pushed me too far. Now! You get the Rat's revenge.
- Big Drag: No, but, but, wait! But, but! But, but, but, but, but!
- Eric Von Zipper: No, buts!
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: I have something I wish to show you.
- Vivien Clements: I'm not so sure I want to see it.
- Potato Bug: So, I say! This is a jolly good show! The entire establishment is leaping! Is that how one puts it, my dear?
- Dee Dee: You're close. The translation is: the joint is jumping.
- Potato Bug: Oh! Oh, yes! Oh, yes. Good show! Good show!
- Frankie: Hey there, what time do you leave for the moon, Bug?
- Potato Bug: [to Dee Dee] Oh, jolly good, Your Frankfurter's come to see me perform. He's a chipper sport, he is. Must be a bit of English blood there.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: The music of the youth of today is straight out of the jungle. It's savage music that stimulates their post-adolescent preoccupation with sex!
- Vivien Clements: You sure love that three letter word.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: These children are nothing more than - animals!
- Vivien Clements: Oh, come on, Harvey. They're having fun. Fun - now that's a three letter word I bet you never heard of.
- Frankie: [singing] Hey, little girl, you're the girl for me.
- The Pyramids - Club Band: How 'bout that?
- Frankie: Hey, little girl, you're the girl for me.
- The Pyramids - Club Band: How 'bout that?
- Potato Bug: Woooo! Hey, little girl, you're the girl for me.
- The Pyramids - Club Band: How 'bout that?
- Dee Dee: How about that?
- Vivien Clements: Let's join them.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: I'm here strictly as an observer.
- Vivien Clements: I have a feeling you've *always* been an observer.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: Let's not be vulgar.
- Vivien Clements: You're trying to buy up that beach property so you can expand your O.F.H.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: And what is O.F.H.?
- Vivien Clements: Old Folks Home.
- Harvey Huntington Honeywagon: It is not an Old Folks Home! It is Siesta-by-the-Sea.
- Vivien Clements: You mean, Fee-esta. The fee is the only thing you're interested in.
- The Exciters Bands - Club Band: [singing] I gotcha where I wantcha, I wantcha where I gotcha, You're never gonna get away from me, I wantcha where I gotcha, I gotcha where I wantcha, There's nobody else around but you and me...