Maciste contra los monstruos

Repackaged for American audiences as part of the SONS OF HERCULES series, COLOSSUS OF THE STONE AGE opens with the most fantastically phenomenal theme song of all created time and space! Amen!

A tribe of nomadic, prehistoric types, dressed in fuzzy bathroom throw rugs, builds a village. They should have checked out the neighborhood first, as there's a monster in a nearby lake!

Thankfully, the shirtless mound of muscle known as Maxus (Reg Lewis) arrives in time to slay the creature, and to speak in a voice that's loud enough to set off car alarms, if they had such things in olden times, that is.

It's not long before beautiful village women are dancing around in headdresses, apparently designed by Dr. Seuss. A rival tribe attacks, and several lives and throw rugs are lost.

Good Lord!

The marauding miscreants have absconded with the women! Have no fear! Maxus returns to lead the men on a rescue mission, and to battle those who've wronged them so wrongly. Fighting and more female dancing ensue.

Also, watch for Maxus' struggle against a dragon that resembles a float in the Rose Bowl parade! Annnd, a band of horn-helmeted cannibals!

Fine entertainment for fans of our muscular heroes...

Can't get the theme song out of my mind! The monster in the lake was pretty good, probably took up most of the budget, and if it had been featured more, say wreaking havoc among the two ice age tribes and having an apocalyptic fight with the toothy hero amid exploding volcanoes, hurtling moons and collapsing ice cliffs, it would have been a decent club-and-sandal flick. But it got killed after just a few minutes, spear thrown through the eye from almost the next county...ouch! The other monsters would have seemed more lame had it not been for the human actors...made even paper mache look good.

But it's set in the Ice Age, which makes it pretty unique for these types of movies, so a little more interesting than it would have been otherwise. It would make a nice Friday night double feature with "Goliath and the Dragon" if you had some pizza and beer.

Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules (1962)

** (out of 4)

Maciste (Reg Lewis), the son of Hercules, is wondering around when he runs into two members of a tribe that worships the Sun. They are being attacked by large fire breathing monster so Maciste kills it. Flash forward and the Moon worshipers are starting to kidnap the women from the Sun tribe so they go to Maciste for help.

FIRE MONSTERS AGAINST THE SON OF HERCULES, the American title of this Italian movie, isn't a film that is meant to be taken serious. Outside of the Mario Bava film HERCULES IN A HAUNTED WORLD, this is the first in the series that I've seen and from the start I couldn't help but think of the Toho Godzilla series with the poor dubbing and rather silly special effects. Of course, I'm sure many people would say the only way to fully enjoy this or even judge it is by watching the original Italian cut but I don't have that available.

As far as this American edit goes, I thought it was actually entertaining as long as you don't expect too much from it. The performances are pretty much what they are and it's certainly hard to judge them with the atrocious accents and dubbing. Poor Maciste appears to be dubbed by someone simply holding their breathe. The film does contain quite a bit of action, which helps keep it move at a nice pace and it's certainly never boring.

As for the title monster, it's a real doozy and appears to have been made from supplied bought at a dollar store. Yes, it looks incredibly cheap and silly but it somewhat adds to the charm.

This movie has some tribal squabble that is dull, otherwise the spots of actual life size monsters used are impressive.

This particular peplum is a prehistoric item as Maciste goes back to the caveman era and helps out one tribe which has been dislocated by the Ice Age to settle on some new lands. It seems as though the other tribe that was there before isn't happy about these late arrivals hunting in their forests and want them removed.

Bodybuilder Reg Lewis of Mae West's review plays the legendary Maciste here. He's got to deal with all kinds of prehistoric beasts including a multi-headed hydra. One thing I swear I can't understand is how Maciste avoids pneumonia when he insists on going in his usual loincloth while everyone else is bundled up in animal skins. But his body is what the movie-going public is paying to see.

Nothing here you haven't seen in One Million BC and a few hundred other successors.