- [after Charlie gives her a fur coat]
- Peggy Hawkins: Oh, Charlie! Oh, it's lovely!
- Charlie Hawkins: I'll say it is. Genuine mammoth, that is.
- Peggy Hawkins: Oh, don't be silly, Charlie.
- Charlie Hawkins: Straight up, it said so on the shop window: "Mammoth fur sale."
- Pintpot Tankard: Are you the boss or something?
- Ted Watson: I'm what they call the something manager. My advice to you is to be off.
- Pintpot Tankard: You mean buzz off?
- Ted Watson: No, but you're getting warm!
- Jeremy: Are you a taxi?
- Charlie Hawkins: No.
- Charlie Hawkins: [pointing at the vehicle] *This* is a taxi.
- Charlie Hawkins: [pointing at himself] *I'm* a driver.
- Charlie Hawkins: [pointing at Pintpot] *He's* a learner.
- Charlie Hawkins: [pointing at the expectant father] And *you're* a twit. Now get out of the way, I'm in a hurry.
- Jeremy: No, no, you must help me. It's my wife - she's going to have a baby.
- Charlie Hawkins: And if I don't get home by seven, mine's gonna have a fit.
- Dumb Driver: Suppose we have a man passenger and he tries to "start something"?
- Flo Sims: Then use this.
- [Flo holds up a starting handle]
- Dumb Driver: What's that?
- Flo Sims: A starting handle - and there's nothing better for stopping something.
- Charlie Hawkins: When you get to be a cab driver you cut yourself right off from the rest of the human race. Everybody's got it in for you and nobody loves you. In no time at all you find that you're about as popular as a wickerwork seat in a nudist camp, and you know what sort of impression that makes on people.
- Peggy Hawkins: [in the bath] I wonder if I've got the right soap? I can't remember if it was green for oily skin or oily for green skin.
- [Charlie goes to the Glamcabs office and discovers who "Mrs Glam" really is]
- Charlie Hawkins: You! So that's it. Gor blimey. What a mug I've been.
- Peggy Hawkins: Charlie, please, I know what you're thinking.
- Charlie Hawkins: Good, then it saves telling you, Mrs Glam!
- [Charlie, not knowing that Peggy is running Glamcabs, tells her all about the planned sabotage]
- Peggy Hawkins: What you're going to do is wrong, Charlie!
- Charlie Hawkins: All right, so it's wrong, Charlie! And I'm a right Charlie!
- [first lines]
- Charlie Hawkins: [to the limousine driver as he, in his cab, pulls up next to the limo at a traffic stop] Whatcha mate.
- Charlie Hawkins: [as the limo driver looks at him in disgust] Hoy, where's the funeral then?
- Charlie Hawkins: [as the limo driver ignores him but notices his elderly obviously wealthy and stuck-up passenger has glared at him] Watch it mate. She got out of the box.
- [last lines]
- Charlie Hawkins: [as Pintpot has made Charlie swerve and hit a tree rendering his taxi inoperable] Call me a cab!
- Peggy Hawkins: [sternly] Where's Charlie.
- Ted Watson: [stumbling over his words in trying to hide where Charlie is from Peg] Charlie... Oh, I don't know, Peg. Oh, perhaps he's in the office.
- Peggy Hawkins: No he's not. I've just been in there.
- Ted Watson: [pointing upward] Oh, I, I, uh, meant the other office. You know, the...
- [Ted motions that he's flushing the toilet]