- The Doctor: Now drop your weapons or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby.
- Warrior: Kill him, then.
- The Doctor: What?
- Warrior: Kill him, then.
- The Doctor: I don't take orders from anyone.
- [Eats jelly baby]
- The Doctor: Take me to your leader.
- The Doctor: You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that need altering.
- The Doctor: You're a classic example of the inverse relationship between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.
- The Doctor: Crush the lesser races. Conquer the galaxy. Incredible power, unlimited rice pudding, et cetera, et cetera.
- The Doctor: You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle.
- The Doctor: Wait a minute, I know you. You're the Chamberlain.
- Chamberlain: Yes, that's right sir.
- The Doctor: I don't like you.
- The Doctor: A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.
- [on oil]
- The Doctor: It's about time the people who run this planet of yours realized that to be dependent on a mineral slime just doesn't make sense.
- The Doctor: Listen, there are no measurements in infinity. You humans have got such limited little minds. I don't know why I like you so much.
- Sarah: Because you have such good taste.
- The Doctor: That's true. That's very true.
- Amelia Rumford: Can I ask you a personal question?
- The Doctor: Well, I don't see how I can stop you asking.
- Amelia Rumford: Are you from outer space?
- The Doctor: No, I'm more from what you would call inner time.
- The Doctor: Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind that I've ever encountered.
- The Doctor: First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
- The Doctor: Planets come and go. Stars perish. Matter disperses, coalesces, forms into other patterns, other worlds. Nothing can be eternal.
- Amelia Rumford: I still don't understand about hyperspace.
- The Doctor: Well, who does?
- K9: I do.
- The Doctor: Oh shut up, K9!
- Borusa: You have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe.
- The Doctor: Well, I do talk to myself sometimes.
- The Doctor: This is a situation that requires tact and finesse. Fortunately, I am blessed with both.
- Lethbridge-Stewart: You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.
- Lady Camilla: You're wrong. The Doctor is not weaponless. He has the greatest weapon of all: knowledge.
- The Doctor: The best way to find out where you are from is find out where you are going and work backwards.
- The Doctor: Well, you'd better introduce me.
- Romana: As what?
- The Doctor: Oh, I don't know, a wise and wonderful person who wants to help. Don't exaggerate.
- Countess Scarlioni: Oh, Doctor, I'm quite convinced you're perfectly mad.
- The Doctor: Only at my worst. Nobody's perfect.
- The Doctor: I'm not helping you, officially. And if anyone happens to ask whether I made any material difference to the welfare of this planet, you can tell them I came and went like a summer cloud.
- The Doctor: I think you'll find, Sir, that I'm qualified to deal with practically everything, if I choose.
- The Doctor: My last incarnation... oh, I was never happy with that one. It had a sort of feckless "charm" which simply wasn't *me*!
- The Doctor: Unless we are prepared to sacrifice our lives for the good of all, then evil and anarchy will spread like the plague.
- The Fifth Doctor: If the freighter crashes into Earth with you onboard, won't that make it rather difficult for you to carry out your task? I mean, you would be very crumpled.
- Fitzwilliam: He is said to be the best swordsman in France.
- The Doctor: Well, fortunately, we are in England.
- The Doctor: The trouble with computers, of course, is that they're very sophisticated idiots. They do exactly what you tell them at amazing speed. Even if you order them to kill you. So if you do happen to change your mind, it's very difficult to stop them from obeying the original order.
- [stops computer from destroying Earth]
- The Doctor: But not impossible.