Nude on the Moon

It takes a lot to make me laff out loud during a movie, but this flick certainly did the job. Beyond-belief atrocious acting; a "script" that'll make you pine for the wit and wisdom of Edward Wood; special effects that make "Plan 9"'s look like "The Matrix"; a bunch of topless, football-tossing, antenna-sporting, average-looking-at-best "moon babes"; a virtual lack of synchronized dialogue; and an annoyingly catchy theme song all add up to one completely unbelievable experience. Just wait till you see the two "scientists" talking to each other in their Earth-bound spaceship, using microphones despite the fact that they are SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER!!! You'll fall right off your Barcalounger! Seriously, though, folks, despite the laffs, this one was kinda hard to sit through. It really is baaaaaaaaaaaaad! Do yourself a favor and watch "Queen of Outer Space" for the 15th time instead!

The best thing about 'Nude On The Moon' is the title, which promises kitsch fun that the movie never quite delivers. It's one of those "legendary" cult movies that you only really watch so that when someone at a party asks you if you've seen it you can say "yes, I have". The late Doris Wishman made a few Chesty Morgan pictures and other sexploitation movies that fans of the genre rate highly, but this is from her early, much more innocent nudie period. Watching this movie you must keep in mind that it was a big deal at the time to get to see some breasts in a movie. That's the only reason this film exists! Instead of the usual peek at clean living nudists concept quite common during this period, Wishman uses a sci fi "twist" to basically make yup, you got it, a clean living nudists movie. Only these gals are "Moondolls" and live on (obviously!) the Moon. The movie only goes for 70 minutes but the two knucklehead scientists (Lester Brown, William Mayer) take 20 minutes to get to the freakin' moon, and another five are wasted before we get see any naked women. Well okay, no-one's actually naked, just topless. Most of the Moondolls aren't that fetching, but their queen/goddess (played by Marietta) is actually pretty hot and has a great pair of lungs. The younger and stupider scientist doesn't seem to notice that she looks like his secretary back home, Cathy (played by, yes, Marietta), who of course is secretly in love with him, but I'm sure you can guess how the movie will end waaaaay before he does. I've sometimes heard 'Nude On The Moon' being inexplicably described as "sleazy", it's anything but. Russ Meyer it ain't! The movie is so lightweight and innoffensive nobody but a total prude would even blink at it. Unfortunately this makes it very dull viewing.

Doris Wishman belongs to that category of film directors that include Russ Meyer, John Waters, Herschell Gordon Lewis and Ed Wood. These are film-makers who make movies that are simply uncategorizable. Either you get it or you don't.

In "Nude on the Moon" the moon looks suspiciously like the Coral Castle in Florida and is inhabited by a bunch of nude women with flabby bodies and bad hair. Nothing much happens. You just get to ogle. The movie is about boobies.

Never has nudity been more wholesome. This is a nudie pic for the whole family. Your children can sit and watch it and laugh right along with you. There's nothing offensive. What a great way to dispel unhealthy attitudes towards the human body! You can teach your kids not to have a snickering, lewd attitude towards their bodies and to accept them as a natural part of life. Then they'll get bored and leave to go do something else while you sit there amazed that such a wiggy movie ever got made. With a Doc Severenson theme song!

I also appreciated how this movie so accurately depicts what life is like on lunar nudist colonies. If any of you have ever been, you will understand. Don't you get sick and tired of Hollywood misrepresenting nudity in outer space? I do.

This movie has a great premise! Astronauts undertake on a mission to the moon. When they reach their destination, it appears to be overrun by dishy females in the nude. Setups for dramas of life and death, of love and betrayal... but no payoffs! The great disappointments of this gem of the sixties is that it forgets its story upon reaching the moon. Instead we see lots and lots of barely dressed girls having a good time. This plot-turn would be quite understandable if they were in fact nude, but compared to modern times, we see no more that one might hope for at a public beach. However the dialogues are amusing, and the production-design is unforgettable. "Nude on the Moon" leaves one with the hope for a modern remake (true to the title) that dares to challenge modern day Hollywood from its current puritan "make war not love" attitude and show the american youth that it is no bigger shame to flash their butts and on celuloid. Unfortunately: they dont make them like this anymore!

'Nude on the Moon' is the first, and perhaps finest*, of the science-fiction nudie-cuties. The plot (I use the term loosely) involves two intrepid astronauts (William Mayer and Lester Brown) who travel to the moon only to discover that it resembles a strange Floridian landmark (The Coral Castle) and is inhabited by a couple of buff looking guys in gold hot-pants and a half-dozen young(ish) women (demurely, the nudity only extends to top-lessness). The astronauts, with perfectly straight-faces, explore the gardens, take samples of gravel, find large gold nuggets, and snap pictures (lots of pictures) of the lithesome maidens (another term I use loosely) as they cavort under the warm lunar sun. While the two colour-coded explorers gravely discuss their findings, the moonies never say anything and only the Queen communicates at all (telepathically via her deely-bobber like antenna). The structure of the film is very odd: the raison d'être is to ogle the girls but a third of the running time is devoted to the (fully clothed) lead-up to the rocket launch. The special effects are cheap but the lunar landing/takeoff are oddly effective (and better than some I've seen in contemporaneous 'real' science fiction movies) but there is no attempt at logic once the men have landed: the spaceship clearly touches down on a cratered lunar plain, but when they open the door, the world outside is an Earthly garden of delights, and the occasional reference to their diminishing oxygen supply is nonsensical. 'Nude on the Moon' is kind of cute in a silly, dated way and I found the opening song ('My Little Moon Doll) crooned by Ralph Young against the background of a fanciful lunar night sky, to be quite magical. The film, one of a number of 'nudie-cuties' directed Doris Wishman (one of the adult-film industry's most unusual auteurs) is somewhat unique, as most of its tawdry genre was passed off as 'educational material' portraying the naturist lifestyle, whereas this opus actually was a fictional adventure that featured (abundant) nudity. *perhaps 'only'