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Once upon a time, Channel 9 in New York featured the Million DollarMovie, which ran one movie all day long for a full day, a programming technique that has been copied by modern cable and satellite TV's in their endless repeats of movies and shows.

But in the early 70's, before the invention of the VCR, Channel 9 was a film student's dream in that he or she could watch a movie over and over for one day and really study it.

Beat Girl arrived on Channel 9, a few years after its run in British and, presumably, American theaters. I watched about eight hours of Beat Girl, in the generous, endless loop provided by Channel 9. This movie fascinated the 13-yr.-old me who had never encountered such rebellion and hostility on the part of a school-aged daughter towards her father, who has returned from a trip with a step mother for whom the daughter is unprepared.

At 13, rebellious, unhappy, and edgy, I needed a "bad-girl" paradigm, and this movie supplied me with her. I loved the heroine and despised anyone who would stand in her way. She left such an impression on me that I have been fascinated by "bad girls" ever since.

However, the film is so bad -- or good, depending on your point of view of gritty, early 60s "To Sir, With Love" England -- that you might want to stick around to see what happens to this sullen chick who's accompanied by some stoner boys to some bad jazz music. Or not: this is one low budget film with fairly terrible acting but there is a gritty earnestness to this film.

Look for Oliver Reed, John McHenery, and Adam Faith in secondary roles. As in all of 50/60 flicks. look for a moral -- but look for the moments of rebellion, too. And dig that crazy music.

BEAT GIRL is another film to explore the then-popular craze for Beatnik culture. Like THE PARTY'S OVER, it features Oliver Reed strutting his stuff in various dated dance scenes, and is interspersed with dialogue which sounds incredibly cheesy thanks to the way in which it has dated.

Unlike THE PARTY'S OVER, it's an attempt to provoke censors and audiences with plenty of 'sensation' drama, as in the American quickies. One of the main characters is a former stripper and indeed striptease sequences play a big part in the proceedings; one particular exotic dancer, all the way from Hawaii, perhaps one of the most explicit teases I've ever seen despite the lack of nudity. It must have been incredible for audiences back in 1960.

BEAT GIRL is actually a pretty decent little story. The youthful - and extremely attractive - Gillian Hills plays the girl who discovers her dad's new flame used to be a stripper, while at the same time she immerses herself in Beatnik culture. Most of the film is shot and set around a club in which Nigel Green and Christopher Lee play various sleazy characters. There's plenty of music here too, some of it courtesy of pop sensation Adam Faith, and despite the dating of the cultural material, it's never less than an engrossing - and surprisingly sexy - piece of film-making.

Here's an odd little number. The title suggests that this is one of those 50's JD films focusing on "beatniks". There were any number of films like this in America, none of which gave an especially accurate depiction of the "Beat Generation" (as represented by individuals like Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, and William Burroughs). Well, this is a kind of British version of one of those, and it turns out that lines like, "I'm over and out dadd-i-o," manage to sound even more ridiculous when delivered in a crisp British accent.

But aside from hanging out in coffee houses and dancing to jazz-style music, there's nothing particularly "beat" about the characters in this movie. Rather than a wild rebel, the lead girl (Gillian Hills) is more of a childish, bratty daddy's girl who is less than thrilled when her globe-trotting architect father brings home a much younger new bride from France. When she finds out her new stepmother was once acquainted with a stripper who works across the street from a coffee shop where she and her friends hang out, the younger girl decides to expose the French woman, but instead she gets HERSELF mixed up with the slimy owner of the strip club (played by Christopher Lee). By modern standards, of course, this is not very racy (even compared to similar movies in late 60's and 70's like "Daddy, Darling" and "So Young, So Lovely, So Vicious" where jealous teenage girls deal with unwanted stepmothers by seducing them into lesbian affairs!). But it was no doubt quite risqué for its time.

It's odd to see Christopher Lee in a role like this since he had just hit it big with "The Curse of Frankenstein" and "Horror of Dracula", but those were still pretty disreputable items back then too. And he's good as always. Gillian Hill was kind of like the British Tuesday Weld in that she managed to play a teenager for about fifteen years. Her most famous role though was as one of a pair of young models who shag David Hemmings rotten in "Blow Up". She's not bad either. And in the supporting cast are a young Oliver Reed and Shirley Ann Field, who later appeared together as brother and sister delinquents in the interesting Hammer sci-fi film "These Are the Damned". This is certainly worth seeing.

David Farrar has just remarried to Noëlle Adam. His beatnik daughter Gillian Hills doesn't like him or his values or his new wife. She prefers hanging out in coffee houses with her friends Adam Faith, Shirley Anne Field and Oliver Reed ... dancing to John Barry music and talking wacky jive talk. When she discovers that her new stepmom has a connection to a stripper, she becomes involved with strip club owner Christopher Lee. Although this film's depiction of beatnik culture is far from accurate (Adam Faith sings for his friends quite a bit and his faux rockabilly songs don't exactly sound like beatnik fair) it is delightfully over the top and has an amazing cast for such junky fare. I really kind of loved it.

Fun movie proves that even British film makers could do a trashy juvenile delinquent film - with added bonus of cool, jazzy, rock'n'roll sound track.

Sixteen-year old beatnik art student rebels when her "square" middle-aged dad brings home a "French poodle" 24-year-old stepmom. She and her beatnik pals discover that her blonde bombshell step-mommy was once a Parisian stipper!

A few hysterical scenes later the girl realizes the error of her ways and returns to her architect dad and step-mother.

A must-see for any camp, bad movie film buffs!

"Beat Girl" (released in the United States as "Wild for Kicks") is a "Swinging Sixties" film made during the fifties. (Although it is listed on here as dating from 1960, the year it was released, the opening titles state "copyright MCMLIX"). It is one of the earliest British films to document the growth of youth culture, and is set against the background of the world of jazz clubs and coffee bars celebrated in Colin MacInnes's novel "Absolute Beginners", also from 1959. (The novel was itself to be made into a film, very different in style to this one, in the eighties). The teenagers we see here are described by the American term "beatnik", although they formed part of what was later to become the characteristically British "Mod" subculture. Two features of this subculture were preferences for jazz music over rock, which was associated with their hated "Rocker" rivals, and for coffee over alcohol. Although many teenagers would have been too young to drink legally, this latter preference owed less to a strict regard for the law than to an association of alcohol with an older generation they looked down upon. As one young man says here, "Drinking is for squares!"

Scenes of young people listening to and dancing to music are set against a family melodrama. Paul Linden, a successful London architect, has recently remarried; his first marriage appears to have ended in divorce some time ago. His rebellious teenage daughter Jennifer, an art student, takes a strong dislike to her new French stepmother Nichole, who at 24 is much younger than her husband. Paul is a modernist in terms of his architectural practice, but in terms of just about everything else he appears to be highly conservative and disapproves of Jennifer hanging out with the local beatnik community. (From the viewpoint of 2015, Paul's designs for his pet project, "City 2000", seem almost ludicrously dystopian, but in the fifties and sixties we were probably supposed to take this sort of concrete brutalism seriously).

Paul would be even more disapproving if he knew about some of Jennifer's other extra-curricular activities. The Soho coffee club where she and her friends meet is across the street from a strip club, something for which Soho was notorious around this period. She befriends Greta, one of the strippers at the club, who knew Nichole when they worked together in Paris. It turns out that Nichole was herself a stripper in her youth, a fact of which Paul is blissfully unaware, and Jennifer resolves to find some way to use this information against her stepmother. Her involvement with Greta brings her to the notice of Kenny, the sleazy manager of the strip club.

Because of its adult themes, the film was highly controversial in its day. It is strongly implied that Nichole and Greta were not merely strippers in Paris but also prostitutes, although the dreaded P-word is never used. We actually see some of the performances in the strip joint, and although there is no nudity some of them are highly suggestive. It is therefore unsurprising that the film-makers had difficulty getting it accepted by the British Board of Film Censors. Delays in getting it certified explain why it was made in 1959 but not released until 1960; in the end it was given an X-certificate, meaning that it could only be seen by adults and thereby excluding many of the teenagers who must have been its intended audience.

The film is notable for the remarkable performance of Gillian Hills as Jennifer. She was only 14 or 15 when the film was made, younger than her character who is supposed to be 16, but even at that age was able to project a disturbing mixture of innocence and sensuality, similar to that of Sue Lyon in "Lolita". Gillian possessed the looks of a young Brigitte Bardot, with a touch of Jane Fonda thrown in, and it has always surprised me that she never went on to have a bigger acting career, although she did become a successful singer in France. (Two actors seen here in smaller roles, Shirley Anne Field and Oliver Reed, did indeed go on to be major stars). The film's other attractive feature is John Barry's score, his first film commission. I had always associated Barry with the quasi-classical music he wrote for films like "Out of Africa" and some of the Bonds, but here he shows that he could also turn his hand to jazz, with a bit of rock thrown in.

Despite the contributions of Hills and Barry, and David Farrar as Paul, "Beat Girl" is not a very good film. It can never decide whether it wants to be a youth musical (the X-certificate probably scuppered that ambition), or an adult film in the sense of a serious drama for grown- ups or an "adult" film in the sense of "as close to soft-core porn as the censors would allow in 1959". It might have worked as a teenage film had the sex content been toned down, or as a serious drama if more attention had been paid to the relationships within the Linden household and if we could believe in the too-decorous Noëlle Adam as a lady with a shady past. In the event, however, it tries to do all three, and ends up falling between three stools. 5/10

A goof. When Jennifer and her friends travel from Soho to her home in Kensington we see their car travelling through open countryside. Both Soho and Kensington are in central London and no conceivable route would have taken them outside the London conurbation.

Beat Girl, known as Wild for Kicks in the U.S., was another entry in the juvenile delinquent sub-genre started by the likes of High School Hell Cats and Teenage-Age Crime Wave, which took a look at the 'troubled' youth of the post-World War II generation when rock 'n' roll was moulding the clean-cut teenagers into misanthropic tearaways. Directed by Edmond T. Greville, Beat Girl is far too silly and melodramatic to leave any lasting impact, but there is a joy to be had with watching a bunch of pretty 1960's teenagers mope and complain in what would likely be classed as acceptable rebellious behaviour nowadays, and to see Swinging 60's London in all its glory.

The story concerns Jennifer (Gillian Hills), the 'beat girl' of the title, and her struggle to accept a new addition to the household. Her rich and rather liberal father Paul (Black Narcissus' David Farrar) dotes on his young, beautiful daughter, but remains concerned about her late night partying and dead-beat friends. Her behaviour takes a downturn when he brings home his new young and gorgeous French wife Nichole (Noelle Adam), who Jennifer takes an instant disliking to, as most children of divorce do. Nichole makes all the effort to bond with her new step-daughter, but Jennifer would rather be hanging out at the local jazz dive with her friends (including real-life musician and teen idol Adam Faith). After a chance encounter reveals Nichole's past life, Jennifer becomes intent on revealing the big secret to her work-obsessed father.

My main issue with Beat Girl is that it isn't totally clear whose side we're meant to be on. On one hand, the parents are shown as forward-thinking and modern while the youngsters (including a baby- faced Oliver Reed) squabble on a dusty floor over a half-drunk bottle of gin. On the other, the apparently misguided youth act out for good reason, and ultimately pose no actual threat ("Fighting's for squares, man!"). The film improves when it dabbles in the sleazy side of London, particularly as Jennifer's curiosity over strip joint Les Girls leads to shady club owner Kenny (Christopher Lee) trying to recruit the jailbait as one of his main attractions, which also leads to the sight of some surprisingly revealing routines. This is exploitation after all, and there's a wonderful sense of grime in these moments. Ultimately, Beat Girl suffers from long periods of off-putting melodrama and silly dancing, but there is a tremendous raunchiness to the film also.

Hard to believe that this tale of beat girls, beat boys and sundry strippers was once considered scandalous and had an 'X' certificate slapped on it when it first appeared. It's another warning on what can happen when you let your teenage daughter listen to jazz or worse still, jive music! Of course, it's mostly terrible but it has built up something of a reputation as a cult movie in recent years. (The club scenes and a chicken run stolen from "Rebel Without a Cause" are surprisingly good).

David Farrar is the rich architect who remarries; his new wife is Noelle Adam and she has a shady past and newcomer Gillian Hills is his pouty teenage daughter who resents her. The cast also includes Christopher Lee, Adam Faith, (not at all bad), Peter McEnery and a young Oliver Reed, (billed here as Plaid Shirt). The director was Edmond T Greville who brought a middle-aged man's disapproving eye to bear on the proceedings.

This film is notable for two early appearances: John Barry's (James Bond) first film score and an early role for Oliver Reed as a teenage reveller. In some ways reminiscent of a pubescent La Dolce Vita, the film succeeds for one reason alone - Gillian Hills makes a truly seductive and formidable she-devil in the form of Jennifer.

Yes, the film is dripping in kitsch value, but one can't help but be absorbed the atmosphere, from the milk bar to the cave party, where English Elvis wannabe Adam Faith curls his lip to the drumming of an upturned guitar. Although before my time, I'm sure life in 1960 was never quite this with it, daddy-o.

It's not the greatest film ever made, but the wonderfully sleazy theme by Barry sets the tone nicely, and it rates as one of the best teenage exploitation movies to come out of the UK.

This film is also known as "Beat Girl" and that's the name on the DVD release. It's from a VERY popular theme of the era--out of control teenagers in films. In this case, however, it's a British version of the old American genre--and it's frankly a lot better.

A totally clueless divorced father arrives home after being on a three-month business trip. Surprise, surprise...he also brings home a brand-new (and relatively hot) French wife! Now his teenage daughter, Jenny, is a total insolent brat...but at least you can't blame her for not accepting New Mom! Only Mr. Potatohead would think bringing home a new mother would work out seamlessly.

Later, Jenny sneaks out to hang with the young beatniks at the local club--and it's dancing and listening to jazz and rock 'n roll all night long. Apparently, she's a regular there but clueless dad doesn't know, as he's so wrapped up in his work. However, New Mom decides to try to help and tries to befriend Jenny. Jenny's friends like New Mom, but Jenny is surly and refuses to give her a chance. When Jenny learns that New Mom used to be a stripper--then she thinks she has a chance to split up her new family. But, as it turns out, New Mom has MUCH more to hide than stripping! And Jenny has MUCH more insane behavior that you can see--if you get a copy of this film.

The film is silly and good for a laugh. But compared to the average film of the genre, it's actually very good. Part of it is that in MOST crazed teen films of the era, the kids in this one really are bad and really are living on the edge. Try comparing this to the incredibly tame "Wild One" (with Marlon Brando)--you'll see what I mean. It also has very catchy music and lots of crazy stuff to keep your attention. Subtle, it ain't! A lurid and exciting soap opera with an extra helping of sleaze--this isn't the recipe for a good film but it sure is for an entertaining one.

By the way, Christopher Lee plays a small part as the vicious owner of a strip club. He's cold and hateful--exactly what his part demanded. Although he's only in the film a bit here and there, he was terrific.

Look for the bad scene about 47 minutes into the film. Jenny tells her boyfriend to play a song. Although another song is playing and he doesn't prepare in any way, the other song immediately stops AND you his ELECTRIC guitar begins playing a neat tune--although it's NOT plugged in to an amplifier! Also, background accompaniment suddenly appears from no where! Cool, daddy.

This film is quite a contrast.On the one hand you have David Farrar who is almost at the end of his film career,on the other you have Oliver Reed ,Adam Faith,Christopher Lee,Shirley Ann Field and Nigel Green on the way up.So there is a great contrast on acting styles,which don't really reflect well on the actors concerned.Gillian Hills as the teenage daughter,Nicolle Adams and Adam faith seem to have immobile faces and monotone delivery.Farrar was a lot older than Adams and there is no chemistry whatsoever between the two.From a dramatic point of view their inability to register any emotion kills this film stone dead.Just compare Adams performance with that of Simone Signoret in "Room At The Top" and you will see what I mean.This film was clearly meant for the exploitation market and earned itself an X certificate,now days it would probably warrant no more than a PG.No doubt this still fondly remembering this era and its music will be most interested in it.

Architect Paul Linden has been travelling away in Europe for over three months and returns with new, much younger French wife Nicole in tow. Nicole's first challenge is Paul's sixteen year old daughter Jennifer, who is going through a typically teenage difficult period of being rebellious as she discovers her new sexuality and has places where her and her friends can hang out away from adults and squares. When Nicole starts trying to get to know her better, Jennifer reacts by digging for dirt on her stepmother.

This film got a rare screening on BBC4 recently so I watched it out of retro-curiosity. For my money Beat Girl turned out to be a surprising good film, partly because I was watching it on its own terms. What I mean by this is that I quickly accepted that this was not going to be a sharp examination of teenage alienation but rather a bit of an exploitative b-movie of rebellion, beatniks, stripping and jive music. In this area it works really well and is actually one of the better "troubled youth" b-movies that I've seen. Sadly this is not because it gets the adult characters right – because where it matters, it doesn't. The parents are clunky authority figures and Nicole is little more than a plot device.

No, where Beat Girl works is in creating an enjoyable sense of grimy rebellion and sass that is what these films is supposed to be all about. The locations and music are a large part of this because it does give the film an authentic feel to be in seedy strip-clubs and laidback coffee houses, while the music is roundly cool and of the period. One of the main things that the film is worth seeing for is a wonderful turn from Gillian Hills in her debut film role. She is sexy with genuine fire behind her eyes and a great attitude – I'm not really into bad girls but I fell in love right here! Only marginally sexier is dancer Pascaline who does a strip so hot that I had to check two things: the first being that this was made in 1960, the second being my watch, to confirm that, yes, BBC4 were screening it before the watershed! Anyway, back on Hills, she is great and drives the film with her harsh and convincing teenage girl. Alongside her Adam and Farrar are a bit clunky while her various peers seem quite clichéd and dated in a way that Hills' fire prevents. Lee has a real sleazy menace and there are appearances from Reed and Faith to increase the "oh look its" count. Overall Beat Girl is a dated and slightly trashy rebellious teen b-movie. In terms of message and plot it is not great but it is worth a look due to the cool points that the locations, direction, music and very hot Hills give it.

Barely stands up as a film worth much attention on its own but is interesting for various reasons. There is a point about halfway through when two lads are speaking of their childhood, born down in the underground during the war and playing on the bomb sites that makes it perfectly clear this is about the generation immediately before the post war baby boomers. There are rockers, well teds but no mods as yet and big no-no of the day was striptease and games of 'chicken' the big thrill. Gillian Hills really was only 15 when she starred in this. Probably her greatest claims to fame were appearing in Clockwork Orange and being 'The Brunette' opposite Jane Birkin's 'The Blonde' in Blow-Up. Shirley Anne Field is great but is lumbered with a terrible song miming sequence towards the end. She would make Peeping Tom and Saturday Night and Sunday Morning the same year being quite 'the look' for several years. Christopher Lee is still on a very slow journey to stardom and not wonderful in this while a 19 year old Oliver reed almost ruins his career with some incredible over acting in a near nothing part. The Chislehurst Caves sequence is probably the best but there are some decent Soho scenes even if most of them are studio bound. Well worth seeing but more from an historical point of view than a dramatic one.

The lively opening tacked-on credits scene with kids showing off how cool and rebellious they are while dancing to the John Barry groovy crime jazz theme will drag you in, and there is just about enough in here to keep you watching, but really only just enough. Don't worry if you miss any of the opening credits scene, it will be repeated later, and even that great theme song grows tired by the end of the film. The highlight is young minx Gillian Hills whose great performance makes me wonder why her career after this film consists of small parts and the odd TV show. I have a strange feeling the story of her life would make a much better film than this one. It's impossible to miss Oliver Reed as the non-speaking "Plaid Shirt" beatnik, and it's historically interesting to see just how much the British censors would let slide back then.

Beat Girl. When a middle aged architect brings home to England his new, young French wife his beatnik teenage daughter takes an instant dislike to her and attempts to wreck the marriage. To be honest this is not the type of film that I usually watch but I did so because it stars Christopher Lee (as a seedy strip club owner) and a very young Oliver Reed, two of my favourite actors. This British film is pretty much a tale of teenage rebellion against the older, stiff upper lipped generation & the then current popular music scene also plays a key part (Adam Faith stars). Much of the action takes plays in a strip club and features some very erotic dances with topless nudity, I guess pretty strong for 1960 and no doubt partly why it gained an X certificate. The real star of this movie for me was Gillian Hills, the incredibly stunning teenage daughter, who was only around 16 when she made this. Much of the dialogue - words such as jiving, teds, squares etc - do date this film and it is plodding at times but it's an interesting piece for it's time.

These wild & crazy London beat kids will stop at nothing to have a coke and think about making out, maybe even play an evil guitar or set of bongos. The really bad ones smoke cigarettes and dislike their parents. Please skip this one, as "camp" as it is, and instead see Expresso Bongo, which is truly good!

Part of the JD Trend of the Mid 50's, this one From Britain.

It Includes Soft-Core Strip-Tease (something American Movies of this type never came close).

It's a much More Serious Tone with Teen-Age Rock n' Roll Antics are Mixed with a Sub-Plot Focusing on a Strip-Club, Run by Christopher Lee, that Includes some Semi-Nudity.

Gillian Hill was Only 14 when She Starred in this and Actually Does a Strip Herself at a Wild House Party.

Her Dramatics are Mature and She Holds Her Own with the Older Thespians.

Noelle Adam as the French Step-Mom is a Beauty, but a Bit Stiff.

Brit Pop-Star Adam Faith does a Few Tunes (imitating Elvis), Oliver Reed's First Picture. Composer John Barry's Debut.

There's a Game of Chicken on the Rail-Road Tracks that Caused Quite a Stir. Actually the Whole Film Caused Quite a Stir.

It Was Considered "Absolute Trash", Slapped with an X-Certificate and Ignored by the "Ruling Class".

A Pretty Sexy and Dramatic Take on the "Youth" of the Day, the Rebels, and Kicks Generation.

Above Average in the Genre.

Definitely Worth a Watch.

Beat Girl is the United Kingdom's answer to some of the American made teen flicks that were popular drive-in movie fare at this time on our side of the pond. The Beat Girl here is Gillian Hills who is very upset that her dad David Farrar has married this knockout of a young bride in Noelle Adam. She's French, she could be a Brigitte Bardot clone and in a most Freudian turn of the plot the daughter is in a jealous rage over Adam who is only about seven years older than her.

But when Adam comes down to the coffee bar that Hills and her friends hang out at, she finds an old friend who works at a nearby strip joint who knew her when. It seems that Farrar has not been told the whole story of wife's background and now Hills has something on Adam.

What she doesn't count on is the sleazy owner of the strip joint who has a taste for jail-bait. Christopher Lee in a little time out from Hammer horror films is the best thing about Beat Girl. Also in small roles are Oliver Reed and Nigel Green.

British pop star Adam Faith and Peter McEnery and Shirley Anne Field play Gillian Hills's disaffected youthful companions. Faith has a couple of songs in the film which are the other main feature.

Beat Girl was trashy when it was first out and age hasn't improved it any. In the final analysis Hills just proves to be a spoiled brat and the London bobby's advice to Farrar about her needing a good walloping is long overdue.

What we've all been waiting for... Yes! It's another Christopher Lee strip-club!Hooray!Hurrah! But there's much more here. We have a (actually) 14 year-old Gillian Hills (later in Blow Up, when she'd reached the ripe age of 21), Jon Barry (and his Seven) doing the music and dreaming of James Bond, Adam Faith playing a beatnik-type-coffee bar-teenage-dreamboat... Everyone goes around saying "Daddio" and "Go, man, go" and "I'm real gone, man" and "Get out, you drivelling, jiving, beatnik scum" (honestly!), and not much happens... ..so they all go and play by having a drag race and then lying on a railway line and playing chicken...

And Then!

Someone called Laya Raki does an unbelievable striptease that will make your eyes water, (hers obviously did)...

And Then!!

Oliver Reed Starts Dancing!!...

Sorry, I need to go and lie down for a bit...

This movie features a non-horror performance by Christopher Lee, a non-sober performance by Oliver Reed, and non-acting performances by the rest of the cast.

David Farrar has a teenage daughter, played by Gillian Hills. He brings home his new 24-year-old wife, played by Noelle Adam, so you know this can't end well. With her eyebrow makeup, Adam looks horribly like the Vulcan babe who was betrothed to Mr. Spock in a Star Trek episode. With her lack of acting talent, she may live long, but she won't prosper.

Hills immediately hates Adam, and becomes a rebellious kid. Gee, what an original idea for a movie. Hills heads for the hangout where she grooves on the dance floor; meanwhile, Oliver Reed appears to be having an epileptic seizure behind her. Most of the viewers are asleep by now, so I'll fill in the rest.

Adam meets up with Hills at some eatery. Hills' male friends ogle at Adam (they must be Vulcans). Another dame walks in and recognizes Adam. Unfortunately, this dame works at a strip club across the street, so Hills puts two and two together and comes up with three, just like my college students. Hills decides to check out the strip club, and we are treated to an exotic dance number performed by somebody named Pascaline, which, oddly, is the name of a calculating machine invented by Blaise Pascal in the seventeenth century. But I digress. Hills meets the owner, played by the fang-less Christopher Lee. Lee thinks he can make mountains out of Hills' moles, so the only suspense left in the movie is whether or not Hills will strip, and whether or not Lee will bite someone. There is also the required game of chicken; in this variation, most of the cast put their heads on a railroad track. Unknown to them, however, is that, as usual, all the trains are backed up at Penn Station.

I hadn't seen Hills before, and she is cute. She was actually a teenager when this was filmed, so that was a refreshing change. Hopefully, her acting got better after this. She did cut a few records.

Nigel Green has a bit as Lee's assistant.

John Barry wrote the score, which mainly consists of a few songs. Fortunately, this disaster didn't kill his chances of composing "Goldfinger." But whoever wrote the lyrics should never be allowed near a writing instrument.

Shirley Anne Field warbles the memorable "It's Legal":

"I won't be wicked again, I'll never be bad no more To think of the things that we can do, Without even breaking the law"

Kill me, please.