El valle de los dragones

This movie was on fairly regularly when I was a kid; my cousin and I would frequently watch it together (she didn't share my enthusiasm for the animal skin-clad women, but she loved a scene where one of the cavemen gets eaten by a dragon).

It was years later that I saw One Million B.C. for the first time; I knew it was hailed as a classic, but while I found it enjoyable (I fell in love with Carole Landis), VOTD still held more of a mystique for me.

I have since looked for it in various video rental places with no success. It seems that these days even the networks aim for more sophisticated fare and overlook simpler joys like this. Just because the movies have graduated to Jurassic Park shouldn't mean that we can't suspend our disbelief for a brief period. VOTD should not be allowed to become extinct!

Okay, I admit it...this little film holds a special place in my heart. It is the absolute first movie I can ever remember watching on television. I remember watching it on a Saturday morning after cartoons, and looking at the TV Guide to see that it was actually classified as a "melodrama". All I really remember from that initial viewing was the fight between the two lizards and the attack by the giant spider.

I recently managed to obtain a copy of the movie and finally re-watched it after what was probably thirty years. First of all, I never knew it was based on a Jules Verne novel, who is one of my favorite authors of all time. Too bad it was based on one of the few Verne books I haven't read.

Cesare Danova is great as the French duelist who is picked up with an American who had affronted him in a disagreement over a woman. What follows turns into your standard caveman/regular-lizards-pretending-to- be-dinosaurs type film. The two end up becoming the leaders of opposing prehistoric tribes and things continue from there.

The movie is nothing really that great, but it's a fun little movie that's on a par with any 1950's programmer.

"Valley of the Dragons" is a real scrapbook of other, better movies. Finally available in a very nice DVD print from Columbia Classics, VOTD reveals itself to be the second half of a sci-fi double bill aimed at kids in the early 60s. VOTD is strictly a potboiler patched together from other films Columbia had access to, as well as stock footage. Columbia hoped to cash in on the Jules Verne craze that had seen great success with Disney's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" (1954) and 20th Century Fox's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" (1958). Verne's "Off on a Comet" was pretty much forgotten, so Columbia seized on the title and added an astonishing number of things harvested from other sources in hopes to make the money the aforementioned films harvested. It didn't work, and VOTD ended up on an endless loop in second-run theatres and died a quiet death on TV "Chiller Theater" offerings until vanishing in the late 60s.

Seeing this oddity again after so many years is why popcorn was invented. It's earnest, yet silly. The production values are not bad, and the story is as flimsy as they come. Earthmen are swept onto a passing comet, discover they're about to become lunchmeat for "dinosaurs", run away from flaming oatmeal spewed out by a volcano, and find hot babes on said comet. Love conquers all and leering commences as the two former enemies realize they have seven years to fool around with the hot babes before maybe getting off the comet when it passes Earth again.

The "dinosaurs" are the stock variety lizards with fins glued on their backs and blown up via rear projection. Many have wandered over from the classic "One Million BC" (1940), as have a bunch of mangy mastodons. The erupting volcano and the hot oatmeal returns from that spectacle as well. There's a really unpleasant scene featuring a giant kinkajou attacking and really eating a snake. Rodan (1956) wanders over from Japan and makes a few peek-a-boo appearances. The giant spider/bug is from "World Without End"(1956). The Morlocks from MGM's "The Time Machine" (1960) show up, although the faces have been changed and lack the glow-in-the-dark eyes. And so on.

All that aside, VOTD isn't a bad way to spend a few minutes, and there's some cheesecake and a loose bikini top in an underwater swim sequence. This is poverty row movie-making at it's finest. Be warned though, if you making a drinking game of this by taking a shot every time you spot something from another B-movie monster mash, you'll be stinking drunk by the 45 minute mark.

Two men are about to fight a duel in the 19th century when a comet flies by and sucks them onto the comet. However, the comet itself is quite Earth-like except that it is populated by dinosaurs, ice age creatures and semi-humans and humans. The two men learn to live and even thrive on this planet--finding a couple hot babes (complete with nicely tweezed eyebrows, makeup and salon hair) and places in tribes of cave people.

I must admit that I did enjoy "Valley of the Dragons", but at the same time, in some ways it was a rather bad movie. After all, many of the scenes featuring 'dinosaurs' were lifted from other movies. What makes it worse is that these were BAD dinosaurs--clearly monitor lizards and alligators with fins glued to their backs. They were also EVIL in that the original filmmakers simply let these reptiles kill each other for real on tiny sets and put these brutal scenes in the movie! While I am certainly NOT a raving animal rights advocate, I still think these scenes were sick and awful. This aspect of the film is just awful. I also had a laugh when normal animals such as coatimundis and armadillos were blown up to dinosaur size! However, the acting was quite good--which surprised me, as the actors were definitely not big-name stars. And, while the script was a bit fantastic, it was fun and worth seeing. Overall, not as bad as I'd assumed and a bit of a guilty pleasure.

Jules Verne's name is shamelessly and regularly dropped in and around this Movie, but none of that matters. What is at stake here is its ability to draw in the Kids with Giant Monsters and Scantily Clad Girls. There is a ton of that seen here, but a lot of it had been on Screen before as it unabashedly clips Scenes from other Movies.

If you can forgive its Plagiarism this is a fast moving Movie with a few of its own quite interesting Shots. There are plenty of Lizards in the Background and some of them are quite brutally disposed of as they menace and mangle everything in sight. Also in sight is an underwater Cheesecake Scene that had the Boys howling in the 1961 Theatres.

An Entertaining piece of Schlock is fondly remembered by its now Grown Up (or have they) Audience, but is just below Mid-Range for this type. Its familiarity is its weakness, but there is enough Cool Stuff to be forgiving. Its an easy Movie to make Fun of but also an easy Movie to have Fun with.