Frankestein el vampiro y compañía

As a child reading scary magazines like THE MONSTER TIMES and FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND, I often came across the title of this Mexican creature feature, which reportedly was a remake of ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN. Well, I just had my first opportunity after 40-something years to get a look at it, courtesy of a DVD released by Image Entertainment. Unfortunately for me, I don't speak Spanish and this disc is not dubbed and did not offer any English subtitles. The solace to this problem is that it is indeed a pretty straight-forward redo of the American Universal film, so it was a cinch being able to follow along with everything that was going on!

It's a poor film with almost zero production values, there's no getting around that, but some day I'd like to hear or read it in English and see if that adds any funny jokes or tidbits that I might have missed. In the film, two baggage clerks (the dimwitted one resembles a cross between Taylor Negro and Huntz Hall, while the other more "serious" character looks like a cross between Moe Howard and Anthony Dawson from DR. NO) get mixed up with "Frankestein" and a vampire (not Dracula). This bloodsucker is even more gaunt than John Carradine, and unlike Bela Lugosi's vampire in the original film, he acts goofy and joins in on the gags. The two "comedians" are also helped along by a Larry Talbot clone with a mustache who occasionally turns into what looks like a guy in a rubber over-the-head cougar mask when the moon is full. If you already know and like the Universal comedy classic with Bud and Lou, this is worth a glance as a novelty. But it's not something I'd watch repeatedly. * out of ****

Frankenstein, El Vampiro Y Compania (1962)

1/2 (out of 4)

Incredibly stupid Mexican film is pretty much a scene for scene remake of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. It's a wonder Universal didn't sue the hell out of the producers of this thing but I'm going to guess not too many people saw this thing in America. The man who played Dracula (I'm not going to bother looking up his name) gives without a doubt the worst performance I've seen anyone give as the Count and that includes my three year old cousin. The Frankenstein monster looks incredibly silly but the Wolf Man is a rather interesting cousin-banging inbred mess. He looks like a cross between a pig, a bat and a wolf. The director, Benito Alazraki, also directed the horrid Spiritism and Curse of the Doll People, which I had planned on watching later in the month. I'm not so sure now.

I stumbled across this thing while channel surfing; it appeared on a station called "Latele Novele." I know almost no Spanish, but I guessed I could follow along anyway.

In the opening scene, two nitwits are delivering crates to a warehouse. One of the crates contains the Frankenstein monster, and other a vampire ... hey, wait a minute - this is a Mexican ripoff of "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein."

Oh, did this mucho stinko. The two clowns, Agapito and Paco, meet up with a guy who happens to turn into a wolf - if you can call that shag rug on the guy's kisser fur. The Frankenstein monster looks like Peter Boyle, so maybe the producer could have sued Mel Brooks. The vampire (he is never referred to as "Dracula") looks like an emaciated version of George Nader. The women are just average looking; for a Mexican film, I expected some great cleavage, at bare minimum.

The film is not funny, not scary, and not designed for anyone with an IQ above uno. There was exactly one funny line, when the vampire takes a sip of something and spits it out. I could swear the translation of what he muttered was "hey, this blood is domestic."

Apparently there is an English subtitled version of this, but no one knows where it is. Or maybe they do know where it is, and it is in quarantine.