Orgy of the Dead

There's no discernible plot! There are some serious continuity problems! There are naked women dancing awkwardly to mistimed music! The Great Criswell is obviously reading his lines off of cue cards placed on his knees! You can see the Werewolf's hairless chest below his Halloween mask when he lets loose with something intended to be a howl! For crying out loud, it's a movie called "Orgy of the Dead" written by Ed Wood!! You were expecting "Casablanca"? If you view this movie with the proper attitude, a few sporting and mean-spirited friends, and the appropriate libation, I guarantee you that it will be a more gratifying 92 minutes than you would have at most movies playing on the big screen this year!

Ed Wood's classic bad movies like 'Glen Or Glenda', 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' and 'Bride Of The Monster' are great fun, and still entertain after multiple viewings. 'Orgy Of The Dead', which he wrote but didn't direct, isn't in their league. It's simply a tedious bore.

A courting couple crash their car near a cemetery where the Devil (Wood regular Criswell) and his Goth girl side-kick are holding a topless dancing competition. The dancers are all dead. The guy and gal are caught by The Mummy and The Wolfman and are tied up and forced to watch the endless procession of talentless titty-dancers. They aren't too happy about this, and after 90 minutes of this crap you'll know EXACTLY how they feel!

It goes without saying that this is a strong contender for the worst movie ever made. Watch it and be amazed. And very, very bored!

Looking at the user ratings for this, it is not altogether surprising that most users rate it a one, i.e. terrible. While it is quite terrible, with next to no production values (and it could very well have been made by Ed Wood, who "wrote" it; in fact, I'd classify it as an Ed Wood movie), A.C. Stephen's "Orgy of the Dead" is often at least extremely entertaining; that is, it's entertaining to those who enjoy pure schlock when they see it. If nothing else, this movie offers non stop schlock, ranging from actors who cannot act (but who spout inanely quotable lines, nevertheless), strippers who can't dance, and effects which are anything but special. Because the schlockiness of it is often quite hilarious, I'd thus be inclined to rate it rather higher than a one. Also, to be taken into consideration is that when this was made, it was meant to serve no other purpose than as something to be projected on to the screen at various grindhouse theaters across the country at a time just prior to the advent of harder porno theaters. Hence, it's a relic of an earlier era than our own, serving a kind of sociohistorical value, as well; perhaps it belongs, along with all of the Ed Wood canon in the Smithsonian?

This movie has a werewolf, a mummy, walking dead, ghouls, a zombie, the princess of darkness, and an emperor of the dead. Most of the movie takes place in a cemetery. Even with all this, you'll never believe it, but this is not a horror movie. What little there is of acting, is so poor it's a joke. The filming is terrible. Forget about a plot and trying to find out where the movie is heading. It isn't heading anywhere. Don't expect to watch an actual horror movie. The main point of this movie is to show about 10, attractive, topless women doing individual exotic dances. The dancers are attractive, and for 1965 exotic dancing I would have to say they are pretty good. The main problem is, that's it. That's all there is to it. There is no more. Watch this only if you want a poor excuse to watch some strippers dancing.

Add this film to the "Looks Better On DVD Than It Has Any Right To" list. The recent DVD release reveals far better original material than the old VHS showed. We get to see every droplet in the swirling fog, every quiver of the dancers' flesh. We get to see just how dead Criswell's pan is. Every flaw is brilliantly illuminated. How can this old low-budget stuff end up looking better than many a modern film?

Sure, this movie is slow, tedious, repetitious and ultimately pointless. But it grows on you. Like fungus. It has an odd sincerity, in its utter badness. Somehow, nobody seems to really understand that they are making a bad movie -- the secret of the charm of the Ed Wood universe.

I have not only the new DVD, but also the full (including dialogue) soundtrack CD which I have listened to many times. I admit to a strange, childish pleasure to be typing away at work while listening to dialogue like, "A pussy cat was born to be whupped!"

Would-be indie filmmakers should take inspiration from this film, as it is proof that no matter how bad the dreck put to film may be, it can see distribution and perhaps even a profit. And, filmmaking lets you hang out with naked babes.

I'm working on the sequel now. Watch for it.