The Naked Witch

To be fair, this low budget film should be viewed from the prism of its time, but even so, I don't recommend wasting any of yours on viewing it. Frankly, I didn't watch it all the way through, which is something rare for me. 1961 was a pretty repressed time in our country, and I think the main object of the film makers' intent was to titillate with the idea of a naked female character. I have a hard time believing that the protagonist didn't take a change of clothes on his journey, nor could I believe that the bedroom was 18th century. I regret that "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" is no more, as this film would have been great for them to spoof. This movie is worse than Seasonal Affective Disorder. Do yourself a favor and avoid it at all costs.

Let's go to Luckenbach Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys. OK, wrong movie. No Waylon here. This is about witches. Well, it is about naked witches. they say.

First we have to sit though nine minutes of woodcarvings and a lecture on the history of witches. Then the student (Robert Short) who lands in Luchenbach, Texas to do research gives us a few minutes of history on the German settlers in this town. When do we get to the naked witches? There is no use talking about the cast as the vast majority did no more that two appearances in their careers.

Just when things do get interesting and we have a secret book in our hands, we get another history lesson. Sheesh.

Before we get a chance to see the witch (Libby Hall) naked, she steals the clothing off another girl (Jo Maryman). We don't get to see her naked either.

The use of Vaseline on the lens when the witch is swimming in the stream convinces us that we will never see all of the naked witch. The is clearly false advertising. Only the student is given unfettered view.

Questions unanswered: How did the student dig up a 100-year-old grave with his bare hands? Where did the witch find panties and shoes? Is having sex on gravel painful? What reward awaits the student after saving Krista?

This early Larry Buchanan opus is barely feature length at 59 minutes, yet it requires considerable padding to get even that far: It opens with a nearly ten-minute pseudo-documentary prologue discussing the history of witchery (and making use of a lot of Hieronymous Bosch imagery), then follows that with travelogue footage and an explanation of how a Texas small town remained a largely German-speaking one, over a century since its creation by German settlers. (This is accompanied by shots of flaxen-haired children in traditional garb dancing, singing and skipping around, very much kitsch like the German part of Disney's "It's a Small World.") Then our handsome collegiate hero tells us in voice-over-- there's not a lot of actual dialogue in this movie--why he's driving to this outback. He's researching a thesis paper on the region, notably its own witchcraft legends and persecutions.

Other people have described the minimalist plot well enough. What should be pointed out, however, is that "The Naked Witch" is--as the title suggests--more a "nudie cutie" masquerading as a horror movie than anything else. The witch does indeed appear nude-- raised from the dead, she's nekkid, and wanders around teasingly semi-hidden by shadow, shrubbery and fences until she literally rips off a dress from the heroine. (At one point the witch actress was apparently over-exposed, because a crude black bar appears on screen to cover her naughty bits.) Later the hero spies her skinny-dipping in a pretty murky-looking river, and we see her topless for quite a stretch. She seduces him, and they have a sort of sex scene--of course not at all explicit, but it's still rare for a movie of this era to make it so clear that intercourse has occurred.

Anyway, this quirky sexploitation/horror melange--with its violence so discreet as to be almost non-existent--is amusingly odd and too brief to become boring.

THE NAKED WITCH begins with voice-over narration by someone known only as "the student". The story takes place in the German part of Texas, where German kids sing German songs while running around in German clothes.

"The student's" car breaks down, so, he walks to the German village full of German people doing German stuff. He meets Kirska, who guides him around town, accompanied by more narration. Then, "the student" has a German dinner with an elderly German man who smokes a big German pipe. "The student" is researching his thesis paper about witchcraft, but Kirska explains in her Kirska way that no one wants to discuss the subject.

"The student" presses on.

He simply must hear the story of the Leuchenbach witch! He can't resist going to the graveyard and resurrecting said unclothed spellcaster! Watching her stroll around is amazing! Watch, as she saunters behind walls, gates, and trees! See her eeevil magic turn the film blotchy and blurred, obscuring her naughty bits!

Thankfully, she starts killing people.

Filmed in the style of an ancient travelogue, this is a classic example of a cinematic fuster-cluck.

To be fair, the first death, causing the water to turn red, is -almost- effective, and the witch herself is just cold and devilish enough to make the rest -somewhat- endurable. At an hour in length, it feels more like ten, with the only semi-naked part coming toward the end. The witch also does a dance!

Another harmless "nudie" movie from yesteryear...

I am disappointed. I am dismayed. I am disgruntled. I began watching this video thinking I was about to see the first film of horror/cult icon Andy Milligan(still have not seen one of his films) only to see that it was directed by Larry Buchanan. It seems that in 1964 there were two...yes, that's right TWO films made and both titled The Naked Witch. Why the lack of creativity on someone's part I know not, but until I began watching this film and then researching it, I was in the dark on this tidbit of information. Not only that(and this information came courtesy the other reviewer on here) it seems that the version of The Naked Witch I watched(say that fast ten times!) has two versions as well, yes, that's right TWO versions, one in black and white and one in color! Well, I bet you can guess which version I saw. Thanks Sinister Cinema! I ended up seeing the old distorted black and white version with the poor audio and the scratchy film quality. While I was watching, I was contented that this was the best quality available, but now I know it comes in a pristine print put out by Something Weird Video and in COLOR! Now, I must get the color print to watch, even though the movie is by no means great. As I write this review, I want you to bear in mind that I did not see the best print. The story is about a student in Texas writing a paper on witches in German folklore in Texas. He meets people that are friendly but clam up when the supernatural is mentioned. Robert Short plays the student and narrates throughout the whole film, and his performance can only be described as wooden. Anyway, to make a long story short...he somehow raises the old, century-dead witch of the village who reeks her revenge on the descendants of the men responsible for burning her. The witch does rise from her grave and we see her old face(which is nothing more than a plastic mask) turn into her young face. She is of course naked...hence the title, although nothing really is very erotic about her, nor do we really see much except her shoulders. The story is decent, however, and I was entertained through much of it. For me the best part is the prologue about the history of witchcraft with paintings and narrated by Gary Owens(his first major job!) I bet they are something(as in Something Weird Video) in color!!!