Perlas negras

In the 1930s-50s, double features were the norm. The A-picture was longer, bigger budgeted and drew in the audiences. The B-picture, on the other hand, was cheaper, shorter and were generally less refined. A few of the Bs were quite good--such as "I Walked With a Zombie" and many of the series films, such as Charlie Chan and Boston Blackie. But most were not so hot...quickly made and less memorable than the As. Many tiny studios rented space in major studio lots and filmed at night...and their products were mostly terrible. Among the terrible Bs, "Omoo-Omoo the Shark God" is particularly bad...yet inexplicably I watched it!

The story is based on Herman Melville's second novel I have never read it, nor has anyone else other than English teachers...but I assume this cheap film probably has little to do with Melville. The story begins on a crappy ship with a particularly crappy crew. Soon, the captain becomes ill--and no one seems to know what's the matter with him. A stowaway says he knows...the captain is cursed because long ago he stole the pearl eyes from their shark god. And, until they are returned, he and the people of this small island are cursed. Can the curse be lifted? And, can they find these lost pearls?

The biggest problem with this film is that it is jam-packed with irrelevant stock footage. A long series of mostly aquarium fishes are shown at one point as the narrator talks about them like they are killers of the sea. Most were cheap baitfish or a tiny stingray! Later, they show a tiger fight. The fight is very grainy and lousy...plus what are tigers doing on an island near Tahiti???!!! Filler...that's all this is. And, considering this B is only 52 minutes (very short for a B), it's amazing that perhaps 10 minutes of it consists of this crappy footage. As far as the acting, direction and look of the film goes, they are mostly second and third-rate. Overall, a film that deserves to have a much lower score than 3.2!

By the way, my friend Angelo thinks this is among the worst films ever made. Sadly, I've seen a lot more older films...and have seen many that make "Omoo-Omoo" look half decent by comparison. Try "Maniac" or "Sex Madness"...you'll see what I mean!

Oh, Man, talk about the effect of advertising. Apparently, all that you have to do to enjoy box office succes is title your movie after a revered 19th century novel. Horrendous acting, directing, and cinematography in this sham of an effort.

I am a B movie whore and this film has it all! Let me tell you what it's done right. Drunken overly long explanations about 15 minute octopus fights brought to you by Mutual of Omaha and some guys fish tank. Old white guys pretending to be South Pacific Chiefs who talk like Tonto, burlesque inspired dances in front of hilariously innacurate stone idols. Bad acting from 1940's eye candy who obviously slept Ruth the dye tie yo get the role . Akwardly uncomfortable love scenes, lions, tigers and monkeys oh my! Campy wham, bam, gazzam fights with pirouetting gun slingers. Screamy weak willed women gone Smeagle under the influence of cursed pearls and a little mutiny. It's completely terrible and that what makes it so delicious. You find your self rooting for Omoo Omoo Shark God.

Oomo-Oomo, The Shark God (1949)

** (out of 4)

This year I'm trying to track down some of the rarer horror movies and I'm not going to lie when I say I've seen a lot of horror films. However, I believe this little rarity is perhaps the lowest budgeted film I've ever seen. I'm not sure what the actual budget was but I'd be shocked if it were over a couple grand. A ship full of men head to an unknown Pacific island so that they can steal the diamond eyes of a sacred shark god. This god is protected by voodoo folks and you know what happens when the diamonds are stolen. I'm giving this thing two stars simply because I just watched it in amazement at how many corners the producer's took to keep the budget down. All the "horror" items are kept pretty much off screen and we're only told about them through narration. The sound effects are cheap as hell as you can tell it just seems like a record being played in the background. The only good moment is some nice stock footage of underwater scenes including an octopus being killed and eventually eaten by thousands of fish.

Imagine my shock to learn that this film was based on a Herman Melville novel. I checked into Wikipedia and learned that Omoo-Omoo The Shark God was a sequel novel to Melville's first published work Typee. The film adaption of Typee was nothing to write home about. But next to this it is Citizen Kane. I'm sure the book was nothing like what we get here.

Now if you said this was an Edgar Allan Poe story I might believe it better. A schooner bound for the South Seas is on a mission to recover two stolen black pearls that Captain Trevor Bardette stashed before he could get away. Those black babies were the eyes of the native Shark God, Omoo-Omoo. And Omoo-Omoo has tossed some mighty bad karma in the direction of Bardette and later his daughter Devera Burton.

Ron Randell one of the crew of Bardette's schooner has made friends with Chief Pedro DeCordoba and he's working to recover the pearls without a finder's fee, just a chance to get away alive and with Ms. Burton. But the rest of that crew wants those pearls.

I can only imagine what Herman Melville would have thought of this. This one is cheap all around. No color which would have been a must for a story set in the South Seas. The players looked pained delivering the dialog probably because it was so bad and because they were worried their salary checks might not clear. Lots of stock footage from various jungle films used and some shots from an aquarium no doubt.

Probably they had no shark footage so a tiger which we all know is native to the Pacific Islands is brought in to do the shark god's dirty work.

Don't criticize Ed Wood for making bad films before you see this.