- [last lines]
- Bugs Bunny: [Bugs is chased out of Elmer's home, but stops him in his tracks] Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Look, the people out there in the audience - the lady there with the long ears. They're getting longer all the time. And the guy back there in the seventeenth row with a cute tomato - he's gettin' all fuzzy. Yeah, they've got it. Everybody out there's got rabbititus! Yaah!
- Bugs Bunny: [Elmer storms back into the house] Oh, Margaret, what a dope. That was just a gag, of course. You folks haven't got rabbititus. Why, if you had rabbititus, you'd see red and yellow spots before your eyes.
- Bugs Bunny: [red and yellow spots appear on the screen] Yeah, that's right. And then they'd start swirling and swirling around.
- [the spots start swirling rapidly]
- Bugs Bunny: And then suddenly, everything would go black!
- [screen immediately fades to black. Bugs is heard laughing]
- Bugs Bunny: [in disguise] I'm Dr. Killpatient from the Board of Health. Where's the contaminated rabbit at?
- Elmer Fudd: Oh, I'm gweatwy gwatified to see you, Doctor.
- Bugs Bunny: Okay, okay, where's he at?
- Elmer Fudd: He's wight in here, some pwace.
- Bugs Bunny: [Enters a room and closes the door] Hmm. Mmm-hmm. Hmm. Yes? Mmm.
- [Opens door]
- Bugs Bunny: Mr. Fudd, come in a minute, please.
- [They enter the room; it's painted with colored spots]
- Elmer Fudd: Oh! Oh, my gwacious!
- Bugs Bunny: [Hiding the buckets of paint] Why, what's the matter, Fudd?
- Elmer Fudd: Spots! I see spots before my eyes!
- Bugs Bunny: Spots? Mmm, that's bad. Spots, Mmm. Foist symptom of rabittitus.
- Elmer Fudd: [singing] Mama's wittle baby woves wabbit, wabbit, Mama's wittle baby woves wabbit stew!
- Bugs Bunny: [inside Elmer's basket] Eh, what's up, Doc? What's in the basket?
- Elmer Fudd: A wabbit. I'm gonna make a wabbit stew.
- Bugs Bunny: Rabbit? Mmm, mmm! Love it, love it!
- [Jumps out of basket and jumps excitedly in front of Elmer]
- Bugs Bunny: Hey, Lemme see the rabbit, mister! Can I see the rabbit, Huh? Please let me see the rabbit!
- Elmer Fudd: Awright.
- [Bugs goes inside basket, comes out other side]
- Bugs Bunny: No rabbit in there, Doc! You've been robbed!
- Elmer Fudd: No wabbit? Well, I...
- [Elmer crawls into basket, Bugs carries basket]
- Bugs Bunny: [singing] Mama's little baby loves rabbit, rabbit, mama's little baby loves rabbit stew!
- Elmer Fudd: Ooh, you twickster! You're the wabbit!
- Bugs Bunny: [as Dr. Killpatient] Tell me, Mr. Fudd. Do you have any rabbit inclinations?
- Elmer Fudd: Well, no.
- Bugs Bunny: What's two times two?
- Elmer Fudd: Four.
- Bugs Bunny: Three times three?
- Elmer Fudd: Six.
- Bugs Bunny: Ah-ha! Multiplying! Yep, you're even beginning to look like a rabbit.
- Bugs Bunny: [after Elmer gets "contaminated", he tries to take a shower, but no water comes out and it is then revealed that Bugs Bunny is the shower head] Goigle, goigle. Why don'tcha pay your water bill, doc?
- Bugs Bunny: [is about to escape, but stops himself] Uh-oh. Wait a minute. This set-up's too good. I just can't leave. I gotta go back and heckle that character.
- Elmer Fudd: Oh, this is tewwible. Trapped with a cwazy, contaminated wabbit.
- Bugs Bunny: Oh, now doc. Don't get yourself in a dither. How do you know I'm contaminated? I haven't got no symptoms. You don't see no spots before my eyes, do you?
- [Spots appear before Bugs' eyes]
- Elmer Fudd: Oh, gwacious!
- Bugs Bunny: My tongue ain't coated. See?
- [Sticks out his tongue; it has a small overcoat on]
- Elmer Fudd: Oh, my gwacious!
- Bugs Bunny: I don't throw fits.
- [Starts throwing fits]
- Elmer Fudd: Oh, gwacious! Oh, my!
- [Bugs advances towards Elmer like the Frankenstein monster; Elmer backs against a wall]
- Bugs Bunny: No, siree. Never felt better in my life. I'm full of pep.
- [Grabs Elmer's hand and starts dancing with him]
- Bugs Bunny: Well yes, yes. Well all reet. C'mon, Jackson. Cut yourself a slice of rug.
- Elmer Fudd: Oh, let go of my hand, you cwazy wabbit! Oh, now you've done it. You've contaminated me! Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho!
- Bugs Bunny: [as Dr. Kilpatient] Okay, Doc, let me test your reflexes,
- [hits his knee with a mallet]
- Bugs Bunny: first this one,
- [hits his other knee]
- Bugs Bunny: than that one, this one, that one, this one, that one
- [Bugs and Elmer go off into a Russian Dance]
- Bugs Bunny: Hey!
- Elmer Fudd: [suddenly realizing] Hey, you're not a doctor. You're that scwewy wabbit!
- Bugs Bunny: [continues dancing] Hey!
- [Elmer whips out a shotgun and shoots at him]
- Bugs Bunny: Hey! Hey! Hey!
- [runs away]