- Ballistic Expert: I got the call about 10 o'clock Wednesday morning from the homicide bureau. I found the defendant, I mean, er, the deceased, laying, er, lying face down on the floor, I mean the rug. So I examined the uh, rug, or, er, uh, the body, and found that death was caused by two bullets, fired into his range, I mean, two bullets fired at close range into his lead, er, head.
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: You're getting lots of publicity, aren't you? Big articles, pictures in the papers. You like it, don't you? It's the nectar of the gods for fools. And whether you killed Krayler or whether you didn't, you're going to look very pretty - fried.
- Kenneth Bartlett: Think of this all, of you, Helen Bartlett is not Helen Bartlett alone. Helen Bartlett is womankind. Has not womankind the sacred right to protect herself at any cost?
- Daisy McClure: Helen, if you think you can hold down a job six days a week without Ken knowing it...
- Helen Bartlett: It's five days a week.
- Daisy McClure: Well, all right, five. I still say that...
- Helen Bartlett: And dollars a week and three hours a day. And guess what I am?
- Daisy McClure: No, thanks.
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: You bore me. Fill my glass.
- George: Yeah, where's your money?
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: What is money? Pathetic scraps of metal, paper crawling with germs. Fill my glass.
- George: Yeah, as soon as you toss a few germs my way.
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: Look at me. Here I am begging drinks from an idiot I shouldn't be speaking to.
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: I, Charles Jasper, utmost in criminologists, committed the perfect crime. And who stole the glory of my deed? Who writes childish articles, gives stupid lectures? Who has lived to see her husband grow sleek and fat upon the fruits of the stolen crime? My crime! Thief!
- Helen Bartlett: If you get Tony Krauch acquitted, Mrs. Zimmerman has another cousin, a lady cousin, who wants a divorce! Ken, this is the biggest break you've ever had.
- Daisy McClure: Five days a week, three hours a day, $50 a week. Private secretary to a broker. And you can't even take shorthand.
- Helen Bartlett: Well, I can learn!
- Daisy McClure: Now that's not all you're gonna learn!
- [first lines]
- Helen Bartlett: Mrs. Zimmerman, Tony Krauch. Mr. Zimmerman's wife's cousin Tony Krauch. Tony Krauch. Mrs. Zimmerman's wife's cousin. Mrs. Zimmerman's maiden name is Durphy. And Tony Krauch. Tony Krauch, Mr. Zimmerman's wife's cousin. Meat bill. Meat bill.
- Helen Bartlett: You've got to take the case. You just can't represent people who aren't guilty. You can't afford to.
- Helen Bartlett: If you'd only let me go out and get a job.
- Kenneth Bartlett: I'm taking care of you.
- Helen Bartlett: A lot of wives work - even millionaires' wives.
- Kenneth Bartlett: Oh, but that's different. They work because they're bored and not as a signal to the rest of the worid that their husbands need help. If you went to work, I'd be a confessed failure and I'm not that - yet.
- Helen Bartlett: Do you remember what Ken said last night?
- Daisy McClure: You mean, when the three of us had gone to bed?
- Kenneth Bartlett: Someday, right in the middle of one of your lies, I'm gonna put on my hat and walk out that door. I'm going to walk all the way to China.
- Darsey: You don't love him, see? You never did love him! You don't love nobody. You're that type of a dame!
- Helen Bartlett: Oh, gee.
- Darsey: There he sits! There he sits, the man that you thought loved you, but he don't love you anymore. He just told ya. So you stand, looking at this man- lookin'and hatin' as only a dame can hate.! All of a sudden, out comes your gun and bam!
- Helen Bartlett: Bam! Bam!
- Darsey: Bam. Bam. Uh, Krayler topples off the chair Wham! On the floor, dead as a doughnut. You fly out on the lam.
- Helen Bartlett: Look at me, just a poor, trusting working girl, until I meet Otto at a gay house party.
- Helen Bartlett: I think you should be getting something for your money, don't you?
- Otto Krayler: Yes, indeed. You're going to like it here, Helen. And I'm going to like you.
- Darsey: I questioned her and she confessed to the murder. Then she denied it. Then she confessed again. Then she denied it...
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: Afraid, George? Afraid of a penny's worth of rubber? You know, this is life, George. Uh, so, you try to live by blowing hot air into it.
- [blows up a balloon]
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: Year after year. Year after year, un-until finally you're like this, with a fat, round body, and the skin tight all over you. You - this is life, George. And then what happens? Something happens. Anything happens! And - and this is what life does, George. Look, look. Look at what life does.
- [squeezes the air out of the baloon]
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: Sad, isn't it?
- George: You're quite a fellow, ain't you, Charley? Quite a philosophizer. Goin' to court today?
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: I go to court every day. There's life for you, life with its back to the wall. You see the balloons there, all right, the ones that were fat and round and tight. Eh, but they're collapsed now. Just shrunken, shriveled shells, fit only for the laboratory of a great criminologist. A great criminologist. A great criminologist!
- Daisy McClure: You're asking me what to do with an imagination like yours. Why don't you tell him today is yesterday - and nothing has happened up to now?
- Helen Bartlett: You know, this is the first time I've felt right since - since...
- Daisy McClure: Since.
- Helen Bartlett: Yeah. Since.
- Tony Krauch: Uh, uh. Uh, Mr. Bartlett, that man of mine...
- Kenneth Bartlett: What about him?
- Tony Krauch: Well, he's took up with some no-good gal in town and spendin' all the money I makes takin' her out Susie-Q'in' and such.
- Helen Bartlett: Oh, that's a shame. Susie-Q'in', huh?
- Tony Krauch: Yes'm. And, uh - uh, Mr. Bartlett, I was wonderin'. Well, speakin' right to the point, if I lets go with a few well-aimed bullets, does you think you can get me off with the law okay?
- Charles "Charley" Jasper: You know, there was a moment when this was almost mine, when my destiny came within one iota of being fulfilled. But that is life. Good day, my dear fellow.
- Daisy McClure: Say, Helen, it's never been clear to me exactly why you didn't kill Krayler. I mean, when you told Ken you did, which you didn't, of course; well, why did you? I mean, if you said you did, which you didn't, well, I mean you did say it, but you didn't do it. Why did you? I mean, why didn't you?