- John Ball Jr.: You know, there's something awfully phony about this.
- Mary Smith: You're just beginning to find that out?
- Mary Smith: Don't you like this one either?
- J.B. Ball: I do not. It looks like a salt shaker.
- Van Buren: Well, we think its very recherché.
- J.B. Ball: That's the trouble with it.
- Mr. Louis Louis: Miss Smith, I'm a man like this, I don't beat around de bush to come in the back door. I tell you, this is where you belong and this is where you have to be.
- Mary Smith: Well, I'm perfectly willing.
- Mr. Louis Louis: A beautiful young girl like you has got to have a background. Dis is what you call a background!
- Mary Smith: I should say it is.
- Mr. Louis Louis: No matter where you look, you never find another background that goes so far back!
- Mary Smith: I owe for the week!
- Mr. Louis Louis: Vell, vell, ve'll pay it!
- Mary Smith: Vhy? Eh, why? Why?
- Mr. Louis Louis: Why? I'll tell you why. I don't beat around de backdoor to come down in de corn chutes!
- Mary Smith: I mean your father.
- John Ball Jr.: Did I say he was dead?
- Mary Smith: Well, well, you said: "Poor old Father."
- John Ball Jr.: Well, you don't have to be dead to be "poor old father." You don't even have to be poor
- Mary Smith: I suppose you don't have to be old, either.
- John Ball Jr.: Not so, apparently.
- Mary Smith: Well, I wouldn't go around saying "Poor old father," squeezing sympathy out of people.
- Mary Smith: [reading the Wanted Ads] "Cocktail waitress. $12 and tips."--Oh, must have curves.
- John Ball Jr.: Well, you've--got them, haven't you?
- Mary Smith: Well, thank you, Johnny.
- John Ball Jr.: "Let us teach you tattooing." No.
- Mary Smith: Some people develop sooner than others, that's all. But when those others are developed, why, they're just as well developed as the others, you see what I mean. It's like, now, you take--you take a chicken. Well, a chicken reaches maturity at--well, whenever it is--but, on the other hand, a horse--oh, a horse takes much longer!
- Mary Smith: You know, I think I'm kinda dumb sometimes, myself.
- John Ball Jr.: You're awfully sweet.
- Mary Smith: Do you think so, Johnny?
- John Ball Jr.: Yes.
- Mr. Louis Louis: When everything was going so nice.
- Nervous Hotel Registrant: Every cloud has a silver lining in it.
- Mr. Louis Louis: Never mind the weather. We've got a lot of things to worry about!
- Nervous Hotel Registrant: What's the matter?
- Van Buren: Yes?
- Mr. Louis Louis: Oh. This time the goose is geese or vice versa.
- John Ball Jr.: [looking at employment want ads] Well, there must be something for somebody that can't do anything.
- Mr. Louis Louis: [points to icebox] Gasbox.
- Mary Smith: What?
- Mr. Louis Louis: They tell me it works with gas, but I don't believe it.
- Mary Smith: [after a fur coat falls on her head while riding an open air double-decker bus] Say, what's the big idea, anyway?
- Hindu Man on Bus: Kismet.
- Van Buren: Louis, who do you suppose was in my Salon this morning?
- Mr. Louis Louis: What I suppose was in your Salon? What I need is something in my Salon! Something like, eh, like a convention. And quick!
- Van Buren: You'll never guess?
- Mr. Louis Louis: All right, all right. I'll play a little with you. Who?
- Van Buren: The bull of Broad Street.
- Mr. Louis Louis: Who?
- Van Buren: The bull of Broad Street! With a chicken.
- Mr. Louis Louis: Chickens? Bulls? What do I care?--You don't mean the Ball of bull street?
- Van Buren: That's just what I'm trying to tell you!
- Mr. Louis Louis: With his wife?
- Van Buren: With a dancing partner.
- Mr. Louis Louis: You got the dope? The dame's name? The hangout? Etc.? Etc.?
- Van Buren: I have. But, I haven't the slightest idea of parting with a scrap of it!
- Mr. Louis Louis: Mr. Van Burens, with a little corruption from you...
- Mr. Louis Louis: Please do me a favor and I'll take a peek, huh?
- Mary Smith: At what?
- Mr. Louis Louis: Dis way, I'll show you. Dis way. After you. Dis way. Dis way.
- Mr. Louis Louis: What are you paying now? I mean rent. Rent!
- Mary Smith: $7.
- Mr. Louis Louis: Seven dollar. Sev - 1, 2 3, 4, 5, 6--7?
- Mary Smith: Yes, with breakfast, one egg.
- Mr. Louis Louis: Let me see. $7. Seven times seven. 56 minus--My dear young lady, could you make...
- Mary Smith: Not seven times seven, Mr. Louis. One times seven. Seven dollars a week.
- Mr. Louis Louis: A week?
- Mary Smith: With breakfast.
- Mr. Louis Louis: Oh, one egg. $7. a week with a gymnasium. You driving a hard bargain, my dear young lady. $7 a week!
- Mary Smith: But, Mr. Louis, I...
- Mr. Louis Louis: It is yours!
- Mary Smith: But I don't want...
- Mr. Louis Louis: It is yours! You want breakfast, you got it!
- Mary Smith: But, look, I...
- Mr. Louis Louis: I-I want you here. One egg, Two eggs. Three eggs! Ostrich egg! What do I care? I'll send a truck and move you immediates.
- Mary Smith: Oh, you mean you want me to boost your hotel?
- Mr. Louis Louis: That's the exact word! I could not have said that in 10 years. Boost it in the right place and--soon!
- Mary Smith: Well, I'll do my best, Mr. Louis.
- Mr. Louis Louis: And loud!
- Mary Smith: And loud.
- Mr. Louis Louis: And how!
- Mary Smith: And how.
- John Ball Jr.: [Mary is broke at the Automat] I'll put the nickels in when I get paid and you can pay me back sometime.
- Mary Smith: I'm not that hungry.
- John Ball Jr.: Don't be a sucker, sister. That beef pie is a wow!
- J.B. Ball: You mean to tell me you turned in a perfectly good, free-and-clear paid up, American car for a foreign jalopy?
- J.B. Ball: I've waited for 20 years to find out that I was the father of a - of a butterfly - a muttonhead!
- J.B. Ball: Did you come here to pay or what?
- Mr. Louis Louis: Yes. I come here to pay my respects. Because--and the whole world of financials...
- J.B. Ball: Listen, you! You're three years behind on your first mortgage, two years behind on your second, and one year behind on your third!
- J.B. Ball: You're foreclosed! I'm doing you a favor.
- Mr. Louis Louis: Oh, Mr. B., please. give me six months.
- J.B. Ball: Oh, not on your tintype!
- Mary Smith: You know, he did say something about telling somebody something or other; but then he said he shouldn't mention names and he was sorry or something. I don't know.
- John Ball Jr.: Who?
- Mary Smith: Mr. Louis, you know, I think the guy's crazy.
- John Ball Jr.: No-no-no-no-no. What name did he mention that he said you shouldn't mention?
- Mary Smith: Well, he said - B-B-Bull.
- John Ball Jr.: Bull?
- Mary Smith: Yeah.
- John Ball Jr.: That's funny. My name's Ball.
- Wallace Whistling: I don't know who you got living here; but, I tell you the old man don't buy fur coats for dames. If anybody knew, it would be me. Wouldn't it?
- Mr. Louis Louis: I'm telling you: she is, she does; but, you don't.
- Wallace Whistling: I don't what?
- Mr. Louis Louis: You don't know what's going on in New York.
- Wallace Whistling: I don't know what's going on in New York?
- Mr. Louis Louis: You just ain't up to date!
- Mary Smith: Oh, hello. Hello, Santa Claus.
- J.B. Ball: How do you do? How are you getting along?
- Mary Smith: All right.
- Mr. Louis Louis: You know each other, eh? Well-well-well-well.
- Mr. Louis Louis: May I make a suggestion? A little bottle of 1923 Mumms? Don't you think?
- J.B. Ball: No. I do not. I think she should have Georges Goulet 1919.
- Mr. Louis Louis: With guinea hen?
- J.B. Ball: You heard me!
- John Ball Jr.: That's one of the finest suppers I ever supped. What? That's not right. Yes, it is to. Supped.
- Mary Smith: You know, it's just like Arabian Nights or something. Except you don't look much like a Prince Charming.
- John Ball Jr.: I remember there was a fellow in college called Underdunk who had the longest...
- Mary Smith: Oh, shut up.
- John Ball Jr.: Come to think of it, it wasn't Underdunk. It was Overdunk.
- Butler: [reading Wallace Whistling's newspaper column, "The Back Door"] "What leading international financier has gone pfoof with his wife over a beautiful girl? And followed her over to the hotel Louis?" - - Uh-hu. Many things are clear today, which previously were murky.
- Mr. Louis Louis: She just give me a buzz. But, I got her entirely mystified.
- J.B. Ball: You've got me entirely mystified too!
- Mr. Louis Louis: Did you see the papers?
- Mary Smith: Yes, I saw the headline.
- Mr. Louis Louis: It says that certain party is tottering. And every time he's tottering, I am tittering.
- Mary Smith: Oh, did something happen to your hotel, Mr. Louis?
- Mr. Louis Louis: Oh, if he's in the soup, the hotel Louis is blewy!
- Mary Smith: What sables?
- Mr. Louis Louis: My dear young lady, we are all alone. Will you please cut the tragedy.
- Mary Smith: Why, I haven't got any sables?
- Mr. Louis Louis: I am trying to give you my friendship and she plays Puss Around The Corner!
- Bank Employee: [sarcastically] Oh, you've got to see Mr. Ball. Would you like to see him in person?
- Mary Smith: No. No, in the movies!
- John Ball Jr.: Why'd you take the coat?
- Mary Smith: I didn't want to! But your father kept saying I shouldn't be a smarty and that I shouldn't know all the answers and, besides, you don't know what a fur coat means to a girl who never even had a tippet.