- Philo Vance: What do you think of the suicide theory now, Sergeant?
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Well, it's slightly complicated since the man shot, slugged and stabbed himself - especially in the back.
- Philo Vance: [Refering to the wounded Sir Thomas] Could the wound have been self-inflicted, doctor?
- Dr. Doremus: I'm the city butcher, not a detective. Don't bother me with any murders after three tomorrow. I'm going to the World Series.
- [while posing Doris with her champion dog and his numerous awards, the photographer hikes the lady's skirt to show her shapely legs]
- Photographer at Dog Show: There! That's great!
- [Doris rearranges her skirt to cover her legs]
- Doris Delafield: Sorry, boys, but these are not trophies.
- Dr. Doremus: [Referring to the corpse] He's been dead for four hours.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: [Sarcastically] And me thinkin' he's playin' possum.
- Dr. Doremus: Well, there are too many people in the world anyway!
- Detective Sgt. Heath: [after a frustrating develpment] Well, Mr. Vance, where are we now?
- Philo Vance: I should say somewhere in the middle of the Gobi Desert.
- Dr. Doremus: [Frustrated, after being called for the third time] I'd like to rent a room here until they finish this case.
- Philo Vance: Say, Markham, I just heard about Arthur Coe.
- Dist. Atty. Markham: Yes. Too bad he had to bump himself off like that.
- Philo Vance: Hmm, that's why I called you. You sure that he did bump himself off?
- Dist. Atty. Markham: Well, his butler tells us he's sitting in a locked room with a revolver in his hand and a bullet in his head. I don't know what else you'd call it.
- Philo Vance: Well, if you knew Archer Coe, you would know that suicide would be almost a psychological impossibility for him.
- Dist. Atty. Markham: Psychological, bosh! Now two and two make four, don't they?
- Philo Vance: How do you know you have two and two?
- Dist. Atty. Markham: Haven't you got any ideas, Vance?
- Philo Vance: Markham, it's a maze of conflicting clues. Any one of seven people might have done it.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: We couldn't convict seven people, Mr. Vance.
- Philo Vance: You couldn't convict one with the evidence you've got.
- Dr. Doremus: Sergeant, here's your order for removal of the body.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Thanks, Doc.
- Dr. Doremus: So long. I want food.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Well, nobody's stoppin' yuh.
- Dr. Doremus: And if you got any more corpses, bring 'em out now, will yuh? I can't be running up and down here all day!
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Watta yuh mean running up and down all day with that swell car the city gave yuh?
- Dr. Doremus: [With frustration as he leaves] Ugh!
- Detective Sgt. Heath: [as the doctor's leaving] Nothing upsets the doctor clearly.
- Dr. Doremus: [Referring to the corpse] There couldn't have been much of a struggle. His hair isn't even mussed.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Maybe somebody slugged him and then combed his hair.
- Sgt. Mellish - Desk Sergeant: Homicide, Sergeant Mellish speaking. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I don't get you. Take it easy. Suicide?
- First Reporter at Police Station: Suicide?
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Wait a minute. You're not going to run out on this hand
- Sgt. Mellish - Desk Sergeant: Yeah, who? Archer Coe, 98 East 71st Street. Okay, gotcha.
- First Reporter at Police Station: Is that it, Sergeant?
- Sgt. Mellish - Desk Sergeant: Yeah.
- First Reporter at Police Station: Well, goodbye, Ernest.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Sergeant Heath to you, cub. Kick in with that two bits.
- First Reporter at Police Station: Oh, relax, will ya?
- Sgt. Mellish - Desk Sergeant: This is your case, Sergeant. Better get the boys out.
- Dr. Doremus: [answers phone] Hello? What? Again? I'm right in the middle of my lunch. First you interfere with my breakfast, then you ruin my lunch. Don't you boys ever eat?
- Detective Sgt. Heath: No. I'm on a diet.
- Dr. Doremus: Oh, all right.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: [Walking into the Coe study filled with Chinese antiques] What is this - a bedroom or a museum? More junk here than a Chinese joss house!
- Detective Sgt. Heath: [to Vance] I've got it! The Chinese cook! They're always full of those tricks.
- [last lines]
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Well, we did it again, Mr. Vance.
- Philo Vance: Congratulations, Sergeant.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Thank you. I'll certainly mention you in my story to the papers.
- Philo Vance: Thank you.
- Detective Sgt. Heath: Oh, that's all right, Mr. Vance.
- [chuckles nervously]
- [first lines]
- Announcer: Finest show we ever held with nearly twice as many dogs placed as last year. Refreshments are being served at the marquis at the west end of the grounds.