- Title Card: Now then, everybody hold on tight, we're going around a curve.
- The Lawyer: The entire plantation goes to you and your husband - providing...
- The Girl: But I have no husband - nothing but a Ford and a phonograph.
- The Lawyer: That's simple. Pack up - I'll bring you a husband.
- Title Card: The Girl. Her life is bounded on the four sides by dimples, smiles, sunshine and kindly deeds.
- Title Card: Home of the Other Girl. She is all bound 'round by wealth, luxury, extravagance and curl-papers.
- Butler: An' de whole graveyard turns upside down! Gassly, spooky ghost come heah to room dese roams.
- Title Card: Shake hands with the uncle. He's not exactly crooked, but he's beginning to curve.