G.I. Joe: Snake Eyes

First of all, this has *nothing* to do with G. I. Joe, as it is a medieval story about two Japanese clans and the protagonist is caught somewhat in between. Yes, it happens today, but 90% of all fights are using swords and the prize of the war is a magical stone. It's like someone took an existing Japanese samurai and ninjas script, added an extraneous character and made him the protagonist, then plastered on a Joe/Cobra connection and brought it into the present. And the way they added this stuff is like fixing a broken mirror with industrial sticky tape on the visible side.

And what a cast this had: Andrew Koji from Warrior (I still crave for a new season), Iko Uwais from Raid, Peter Mensah from Spartacus, Takehiro Hira (who in my mind did the best job in the film, even if he was the villain and had a really dumb role), Samara Weaving from Guns Akimbo. Not to mention Eri Ishida, who did more in a few scenes than "Snake Eyes" in the entire film. They did nothing with all of this. The fights were fractured and made little sense, focused on form and ignoring substance. Two people fighting 50 and succeeding because they all used swords and the heroes had unlimited stamina, the usual running (slowly and awkwardly) from bullets scene, people running in the sword range to fire a gun, ugh! It was incredibly ugly. Even the motorcycle and car scenes were ridiculously bad. A team of 5 snipers could have finished *everybody* without loses.

Worst of all, it's called G. I. Joe Origins and it features a character who has never heard of the Joes in a time when both Cobra and Joes have been established for a long time. There is no origin story at all! There is no story, really!

Bottom line: this film is something that whole teams of people should be fired because of. A 100 million dollar film that manages to waste every resource it bought. Avoid it like it's the plague.

Ah now we have your average Joe.

I haven't watched any G. I. Joe movies, so I have no idea about Snake Eyes coming in. Because of this, I judge this movie only as an independent action, hoping it to be a great summer blockbuster. And I was disappointed.

Before the movie began, Henry Golding shared that there's gonna be a lot of action. That's true, as there were multiple sword fights. However, each fight was short and unsatisfying. The camera angles were bad, and I couldn't see the choreography clearly. Iko Uwais was in this movie, and he's a fantastic martial artist actor. However, he got little screen time. It's almost like they don't have the budget for long fight choreography.

The story was boring and not special. Snake Eyes was a bland and bad protagonist. I don't care much about his journey, and the ending for his character felt unjustified. It's not that Henry Golding's acting was bad, but the direction for his character made him like a side character.

The acting was okay across. Only Andrew Koji stood out as the Storm Shadow. He was pretty badass with the swords, especially his serious face. I think he stole the spotlight from Golding's Snake Eyes.

Overall, a mediocre story with unsatisfying action scenes. 5/10.

Great visuals ruined by terrible writing. Hollywood is a big place, where are all the good writers at? And why do people keep agreeing to go along with a film after reading a terrible screenplay? People need to start speaking up before the film is complete about the writing.

Having grown up with the "G. I. Joe" cartoons on TV and always liked them, I must say that my expectations for this 2021 movie "Snake Eyes: G. I. Joe Origins" weren't exactly sky high, given the previous live action movies based on the cartoons.

But still, of course I sat down to watch this movie and see what writers Evan Spiliotopoulos, Joe Shrapnel and Anna Waterhouse would come up with.

And while "Snake Eyes: G. I. Joe Origins" certainly was a watchable movie, this was essentially a no-brainer. You just disconnect your brain, lean back and munch the popcorn while watching the action on the screen. In terms of proper contents for a deeper storyline or a fulfilling storyline, then "Snake Eyes: G. I. Joe Origins" is not the movie you should watch. Nay, this was just mindless action with a "G. I. Joe" template dragged down over it to sell it to a wider audience.

I must admit that I sit here with a feeling of this being a rather unnecessary and unfulfilling movie, now that the movie came to an end. Sure, the movie was a cheesy action flick and watchable enough for what it turned out to be. But this was by no means an outstanding movie from director Robert Schwentke.

The action sequences in the movie are good, and they are what keeps the movie afloat. That, and also some nice visuals and special effects. But other than that, then this movie was a shallow shell.

The cast ensemble was interesting, though, I will say that much. I am not familiar with Henry Golding, but he did a good job at bringing Snake Eyes to life on the screen. And actor Andrew Koji was definitely a good choice for Stormshadow. Now, it was really great to see the likes of Iko Uwais and Haruka Abe in the movie as well.

I doubt that I will ever return to watch "Snake Eyes: G. I. Joe Origins" a second time, because the storyline just barely had enough contents to support the first viewing.

My rating of "Snake Eyes: G. I. Joe Origins" lands on a very mediocre five out of ten stars.

Saw the movie last night and was not impressed with anything I saw. The makers of this film have either no idea of the origins of Snake-Eyes or they intentionally destroyed the character. Aside from the fact that Snake-Eyes was always a Gaijin (white guy) he was also honorable in all that he did. This version has him as a two-faced, lying, thief. The feeble redemption arc in the final act was too little - too late, and unbelievable. The casting choices also left me a bit confused. Golding was never a good choice for Snake-Eyes and as much as I love Samara Weaving, she was a horrible Scarlet. The actress who ineptly portrayed the Baroness was too young for the character and was not even close to being believable. Iko Uwais was great as usual but would have been a much better Storm Shadow or even Snake-Eyes! Andrew Koji did do a good job as Storm Shadow and his was the best performance in the whole film by far.

The story was subpar, even for a genre piece, and the script could have been written by a middle-schooler. The action was decently choreographed and wasn't too over the top. It seemed like it couldn't decide whether to be gritty or cartoonish in its approach to the action, which was a letdown. There are several continuity issues as well; a brawler raised on the street with no formal training can automatically hold his own against highly trained ninjas (can you say Rey Palpatine?) or a girl who had been a devoted part of the clan for over a decade breaking sacred rules to save someone she just met?

All in all, this movie sucked!