The Barge People

I wish this was a better movie. I was hoping it would be a nice UK horror along the lines of The Canal. But not so. Characters are one-dimensional and the little bit of story is lost in long dark stretched-out stab-fests. Its a shame something like this gets funded when it isn't much better than a student film. Really not worth the time. The "Killer!' 10 star review is bought and paid, for (their only review on IMDB)

The trailer really won me over and purchased this uncut version from Germany.

Rubber masks aside the fikm has sone ok moments.

Cliche ridden ? Yes of course.

Cheesey one liners and old creepy men shouting Warnings , the Slaughtred Lamb tyoe pub, angry locals.

Mutated Fish men too! Who seem to pointlessly and unexplainably bleed dirty canal water when stabbed. Ha ha The frying pan scene reminded me of Rik and Ade in Bottom. Unintentionally hilarious.

Not really much gore, deaths mostly off screen unfortunately, but lots of blood thrown about and an interestingly shot Barge attack are ok.

Yes its cheap, yes it's not original but it has heart, some surprisingly good acting (the nasty local blonde women being one) and the male and female lead did a convincing job.

If didnt show the mutants as much, didnt have them talk and spent a little more on some actual make up for wounds etc this could have been worlds better.

Seen far worse and it did keep me entertained. A Solid 5.5.

Bloated fishy creatures make life miserable for a gang of mainly likeable friends on a boating holiday. The canal and surrounding area is very nicely shot by Charley Steeds, nicely showing off the beautiful UK countryside - and this makes a deceptively calm backdrop for when horrible things begin to happen.

Funnily enough, after a very effective first half, things dip a bit when the creatures turn up, and events seem to be heading in very familiar slasher territory (a scene prior to this involving the group entering a typically unfriendly country pub is surprisingly clichéd). This lull, however, doesn't last long.

The character of Ben is a cartoon character really, played as such by Matt Swayles. I get the impression he's brought in as light relief, which is fair enough, but seems a bit incongruous when everyone else is played as 'real'. Having said that, there are some nods into horror cliché which means Ben isn't entirely on his own.

I really enjoyed The Barge People. The budget is clearly a consideration - it would, therefore, be unfair to have a go at it because of a lack of multi-million dollar CGI effects or whatever. The creatures themselves look pretty convincing to me, although more could perhaps be made of their aquatic origins, which is never really explored.

All in all, great fun. 8 out of 10.

The title "The Barge People" sounded ridiculous, and even though it may be, it was a fun ride of old school horror. I think those of rated this film low have been spoiled with excessive CGI horror and scifi. None of that here, just some good old slasher gore. Two couples take a trip on a barge, unaware of the carnivorous creatures that lurk in their path. For a B horror flick, the acting is good and the battle for survival keeps the suspense going. Suspend belief, and enjoy some great horror tropes and moments.

Acting and cinematography are passable, but once the creatures appear it's all downhill from there. The barge people are literally just wearing rubber masks and it's VERY noticeable. One of them even has eye holes that aren't quite the right size and you can see a bit of their face underneath. It looks awful. These are the cheap Halloween kind of rubber masks too where the mouths don't really function, which again, is very noticeable, especially when you can easily see that when the barge people are supposed to be eating people, they're actually clearly just rubbing their mouth against them. Again, looks awful.

Other effects like gore/death scenes are equally embarrassing. The creatures shoot geyers of water out instead of blood, which is already silly, but there was one part where two characters are hitting one of the creatures with frying pans and it inexplicably made water blood shoot out in spray bursts as if they were being stabbed? They're hitting it in the back with frying pans, one of them using stabbing motions for some reason, and it's wearing a thick rain coat, and somehow that fills them with holes and makes water shoot out? This is not a comedy movie either, so I really don't know what they were thinking with scenes like that. It's just terrible.

Big mistake to make these things talk too. They're supposed to be rabid mutant cannibals, and yet they can apparently speak English well enough to spout awful cliched comic book villain one-liners (through a very cheap sounding voice filter). It's supposed to be sinister, but it's just laughable.

They clearly had no idea what to actually do in terms of story once the creatures showed up either. Characters just ramble and pointlessly repeat themselves to fill up the run time.

Overall just a big waste of time. Clearly someone was looking to cash in with as little effort as possible here. I've seen worse, but The Barge People is pretty far down there near the bottom of the barrel. 2/10.