Diamantino

Just because you toss whatever is in the kitchen cupboards & fridge into a pot doesn't necessarily mean it's a nutritious tasty meal. So it was with my take on this script. I suppose no direction/cohesiveness w/giant animated pink fluffy dogs running around (Suppose to mean anything?) can be funny. For the ladies our lead actor spends a lot of time lifting (probably with a large mirror) so that's a positive.

There are elements that showed promise: football and celebrity cult manipulation most of all (using a Cristiano Ronaldo-like clone; bad accent and family issues included). Especially if you happen to be Portuguese, but, of course, most viewers won't be. The production values are above average for what you'd expect, however the plot wanders, "serious" issues get lost, some of the acting is quite bad (a good turn from the protagonist and his evil twin sisters, though), and it is never as funny as it seems to think it is. In short: it's not great as a farce, and its not resolutely and wholeheartedly bad enough to be camp.

The premise is straight out of a cheesy lifetime movie: a retired soccer player adopts a refugee and grows up, but it's so much weirder and queerer than that at every turn. Visually sumptuous, shot on film gives it a glow and helps make the iffy CG look like a deliberate choice. Diamantino is an achingly sweet and earnest character so he's easy to love, lost amongst the scheming political evils of our day.

Diamantino's (Ronaldo's) twin sisters were so ugly, disgusting and over the top that I had to stop watching. Terrible overacting too.

Im sitting in my couch this very moment wondering what i just watched. The politics of this movie are... wierd. Ig to have a lesbian couple break up just so diamontino (a man) can have a romantic relationship with what in his head is a child boy who he rescues from poverty is an odd (to put it lightly) decision from the directors. The movie would work perfectly without the lesbian (Aisha) turning straight due to dimantinos massive honkers. The exact same stuff could have happened without the need of converting a lesbian, Aisha could've pretended to be a boy indefinitely, she could've said that she was a secret agent saving him or some bullcrap. Another example is the ideas surrounding EU and immigration, i think the movies message is EU good, Nationalist bad? And that immigrants shouldn't die crossing the ocean?

What does this movie want to tell me? So the message of this movie is totally lost on me.