First of all, going into this I knew "Him" had a 2.2 rating. There were only three written reviews and they all warned of awfulness. But I was determined. I was also bored. And strangely, I was not disappointed. But I still give it a 1, because it is possibly one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen. But there IS one good thing: it's also one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I've ever seen. I laughed my ass off so hard that my cat finally got off my lap so she could sleep undisturbed.
There is so much to say about this affront to filmmaking, but I'll try to keep it brief. The first 10 minutes are spent following an old guy wandering around what is at night a haunted warehouse. But it's daytime now and the guy playing the man is such an abysmally bad actor, the audio so screechingly awful and the cinematography so distractingly poor that it's hard to know or care whatever exposition may be getting explained. We then move on to two young women who show a lot of flesh and talk on the phone and try to conjure up a demon with a Ouiji board. One of the ladies later disappointingly walks to her kitchen after the demon doesn't answer her, sees that the cabinets are all open, then calmly walks away. No tense musical accompaniment. This was my first full belly laugh.
Cut to a couple necking in a car in front of the warehouse. A demonic babydoll in the backseat attacks them by moving closer to the camera and exuding smoke. Second big belly laugh.
Next a group of six "paranormal investigators" break into the warehouse to "investigate." Now, I will give props to some realism to the film here, as these z-listers portraying said "experts" played them as easily frightened, whiny, argumentative, immature crybabies who scream and panic at every hint of paranormal activity. The acting is SOOO painfully bad, and you can tell it's a mixture of bad script and bad ad libbing. I swear I saw a couple of them trying to hold in giggling. I must tip my hat to the actor playing the security guard, though. He really seemed to put forth great effort to inject enthusiasm into his role and for that I say thanks for that effort, sir. He was still terrible, but I salute him all the same. The gang and the guard try to survive the night among a ridiculous looking clown and that little doll that kills by coming closer to the camera. Will they make it? Well it's pretty predictable and frankly they are all so insufferable that you just hope their deaths are slow and painful.
Production-wise, the audio is problematic throughout-either you can't hear the talking, can't understand it or it's distorted during the yelling. The cinematography is ugly and cheap. Yes this is low low low budget, but come on. It looks like it was shot on my dad's camera in the 1960s. And this is a perfect example of how editing can completely change a film, because it was shots of delayed or completely inappropriate or nonsensical reactions to what should have been something suspenseful or frightening that turned this from a horror movie to a comedy. And places where there SHOULD be music there isn't and Vice-versa. It's just that funny, because it's not supposed to be.
So if you're a movie nerd and want to enjoy something that's so bad you just have to laugh at it, I heartily recommend "Him." But if you want a serious, well made horror film...don't waste your time with this awful mess.
