Rápidos y furiosos X

Fast & Furious 9 did what a lot of franchises do at some point: it took the action into outer space. This seemed to me like a good point to call it quits. But with the money still rolling in, nobody in Hollywood was going to end this cash cow; thus we have Fast X, the first in a rumoured three part finale (until the inevitable reboot).

I've been on board with the franchise since the start, sticking with it as it moved from the street racing world into more James Bond territory, the action getting more and more ridiculous with each chapter. Seeing how each movie would top the one before in terms of craziness is what kept me entertained. But Fast X is just dumb, and it's not even dumb fun.

The stunts are more preposterous than ever, but the film is never thrilling, every interminable action scene enhanced by rather ropey CGI (the flames, in particular, look really bad). There are some dreadful attempts at humour (mostly courtesy of Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris), and we get all that inevitable crap about the importance of family (if I see the gang having another barbecue I think I'll hurl).

And then there's Jason Momoa as villain Dante...

I can see what they were going for -- kooky flamboyant psycho capable of almost anything -- but Momoa is absolutely awful, his performance bordering on camp, not helped by the character's dubious choice of attire. It's hard to find Dante menacing when he's flouncing about in a silky shirt. I'll no doubt watch the next two films for the sake of completion, but with Momoa on board it'll be hard going.

Fast X is easily the weakest of the series so far, but I'll give it 3/10 because I guess things could get even worse.

I mean they didn't even try to hide the fact they are all mostly two word titles with copy-pasting the same sentences in different order in one paragraph. Racing Victors, Racing Heat, Racing Rivals, Racing Independence, Racing Mavericks, Racing Tranquility, Racing Liberty, Racing Bliss, Racing Winners, Racing Explorer, Racing Heaven... and many, many more - and those are just the titles starting with Racing, there are other obvious patterns with different title words.

This has to be a world record for bogus ChatGPT reviews. I mean it's pretty bad when the producers have to stoop so low, and they're that lazy to even hide the fact they are trying to fool their audience this way. It also proves how little faith they have in their own film. The current Rotten Tomatoes critics 54% rating is a more accurate. I gave it a generous 6/10.

It's too bad more effort didn't go into the writing and S/VFX (which needed major toning down and lacked realism), as they put towards trying to fool their fans of the franchise. This was too long, too slow, and too cartoonish. The writing was infantile, like it was written by a bunch of prepubescent giggly teens, and Momoa's character was too overboard and can't be taken in long doses. They basically tried to copy The Joker's character instead of creating his own persona. His performance however was still the most engaging and entertaining. Don't even get me started on the lame ending which will punish anyone following Vin Diesel on social media with him constantly counting down the days until the next ridiculous part 2 of Fast X. They should've just put us all out of our misery and ended this franchise at a nice even number.

Nevertheless, still a decent popcorn watch riddled with brainless exposes of plot holes and nonsense entertainment, especially if you have nothing better to do and almost 3 hours to waste.

The movie starts it story from the first ten minutes of Fast Five. The story starts out of nowhere and thr scenes are not even connected properly with each other. Any scene comes out of nowhere. The performances by all the cast members felt weak and the character development of the main Villian was bad. Jason's character wanted revenge in the movie but it more looked like he was a psycho who kills people for fun. The main problem with this franchise is saturated. It feels like we have seen all this millions of times and the action scenes doesn't amaze you.

Overall, it was an average action movie and the franchise has reached fatigue.

I don't know what I expected from this movie. It's a total mess. But let's try to stay positive and start with a good point.

The opening is probably the best part of the movie so make sure you enjoy it. Additionally, all the scenes with Jacob were surprisingly good and funny where on the other hand the scenes with Roman and Tej aren't that funny anymore. Also you need to stay till the Post credit scene. I would say it's worth the wait.

But enough good things. The story is very bad. Normally, the action compensates the bad story but this is not the case here because the action is also one of the worst we have seen in a Fast & Furious movie yet combined with even worse VFX. Furthermore, the cars should be a very important aspect of the movie but no, not in this one. The cars play a pretty small part and are just there so they can call it a Fast & Furious movie. Also the movie is too long. We only see bad action after bad action and then learn about how a new character is related to this whole family, just boring.

And the most important question: Are the scenes realistic? Not really but after we have seen a car in Space the scenes are relatively realistic.

With this movie Universal just wanted to make money but completely forgets about us fans. After we watched it we are forced to watch the next one and spend even more money which is just too bad. Well, I think that was everything and I hope you enjoyed this review.

I had a mission walking into that theater, and that is to count the number of "family" spoken in this movie. At the end of the day, I got about 2 "familia", 3 "fam", and a grand total of 28 "family". See if they can break that record next time!

Nothing much needs to be commented about the film itself: we launched cars into space last time to destroy satellites, what less could you expect? Screw the logistics, screw physics, and screw Newton with his screwing apple tree! And guess what, if you do manage to stay awake after an hour, you'll start to understand how F&F actually survives the 22-year journey of production --- by not giving a screw! Hey, remember when Gal Gadot's character got blew up? Yeah screw that she quitting DCU so we resurrects her in our universe. Remember how Jakob was the cold-blooded villain just one movie before this? Screw that we got Peacemaker to play him this time cuz it makes great comedy. Remember when not even Dune dared announcing sequels until the first week of release? Screw that, Villeneuve ain't know nothing about making sequels, we bringing Fast 12 on the calendar while releasing the trailer!

So yeah, here we are, anticipating Fast 11 next year, when the man named Dominic I-Am-Groot Toretto asserts dominion over Dante the Jokerized Aquaman, of course, with the help of his family.