Patient Seven

The movie starts out like a cool story: we have a big shot doctor who is tackling every patient in this run-down mental institution. We have good actors, some more known than others, but even the lesser known actors do a good job here. The visuals and SFX are very good. The colors, lights, grading, sound effects, special effects, gore. It's all there. So why the 4/10 score?

The movie lacks everything else. It lacks the SSS: Sense, substance and scares.

This review is chaotic, I know, but still not as chaotic and rushed as this film was. The movie doesn't know if it wants to be a comedy, horror, sci-fi, drama. It just goes in circles and never seems to fit anywhere.

I honestly wanted it to end halfway through, but once it ended I was even more like "seriously.....?" Nope. That's not how you end a (boring) movie.

Don't watch it. Just let it be.

If you want scares, turn off the lights, put your headphones on and rent The Babadook.

With the inclusion of an absolutely stellar performance by Alfie Allen, Michael Ironside knocks it out of the park. This is a very solid 8/10 and impressive for featuring other actors and directors I have never heard of before - and it works. Alfie Allen is mesmerizing in his role and if they decide to expand on his story-line I am sure they will have a solid hit on their hands. Michael Ironside is quintessentially a good actor. You can't take your eyes off of him for each subtle eyebrow twitch speaks volumes. Well done, folks. I don't want to give away any of the story-lines, but the way the plot weaves in and out of context to suddenly be brought hard back into focus is astounding. If you get a chance to see this take it.

Be ready to sit through 7 different stories all about monsters and the unnatural. I only liked story 4 but even that one was hard to hear due to the strong accent and no captions. I mean , if nothing else is on then I would watch this but it would not be my first pick. You might get what you want as far as being entertained elsewhere.

Something I really appreciate in a film is a clever title. 'Patient Seven' has that, and for multiple reasons, but the biggest one being that it makes you crave the knowledge of who the seventh patient is and what makes them worthy of having the film named after them. The film is presented with seven stories and then the central film tying them all together. Here are my brief thoughts on each of the segments.

Segment 1: A bad way to start the film. Bland and unimaginative.

Segment 2: Probably my favourite segment of them film. Smart, funny and a wee twist to top it off.

Segment 3: Another boring segment with very little going for it. Not sure how it made the cut. More filler than anything else.

Segment 4: I'm from New Zealand and I can tell you that patient four's accent was nothing like that which we have here. The segment itself though the accents were much better (and even featured real New Zealand money which impressed me). Not a great segment, but far from the worst. Very much middle of the road.

Segment 5: Probably the second best segment. A little drawn out but has a nice ending to go out with a bang.

Segment 6: Yuck. Nothing to like about this one.

Segment 7: Would have liked this one to be better. It should have been, but again it just ran out of steam.

The best part of the movie though is the story tying all of this together. That's where the real fun is to be had. Michael Ironside does a great job playing the creepy main character and he has more than enough to work with in the script. The film finishes very strongly and that is always a good thing for a movie to do. Leave the audience with a good taste in their mouth.

My quick rating - 5,5/10. One of a few problems with anthology movies is they tend to have good episodes, and bad episodes. Just like anything else. This can also be good since you will have different audiences viewing the material and one or two bad doesn't pull you completely out of the entire movie. So this story is seen through the analysis of a doctor/writer (wonderful as always, Michael Ironside) interviewing patients of a mental hospital to get the "real" feeling of the crimes that got them locked up. Without breaking each down, they each are stories of various insanity levels that don't ever go over the top but are able to get just enough of a response for you and Ironside to to get a feeling of them. This is not done through cheap scare tactics but conveyed through quality performances from the actors/actresses. I would also not being doing justice without pointing out the astounding part played by Alfie Allen. I was also partial to the little girl in her segment, what a little brat. Anyway, the stories were adequate, some better then others, and none outstanding. Another positive note, they were able to tie the whole thing together in the end.