Lago profundo vs Anaconda

I have always had a soft spot for science fiction B-movies. And while Lake Placid vs. Anaconda fills all the requirements for terrible B-movie glory, it is not actually good in any manner.

People often forget that the original Lake Placid and Anaconda films were quite good in a campy creature kind of way. The onslaught of sequels bastardizing their originality and fun of those films have relegated the sub-genre to pure and lovely guilty pleasure filth. Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has nearly every ghastly B-movie trope we've come to expect from these films, and it's not in a good way.

The plot of the film often gets overly summarized to the point of stating the title in sentence form. Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has a super science-y organization funding crazy genetic research while searching for an elixir of youth. Of course, that means they need a super anaconda to bear love children formed from breeding the snake with the gigantic crocodile, thereby making "baby croc-a-condas." Along the way the creatures get loose and go on a killing spree, as they often do, and what do they stumble upon but a group of near- naked sorority girls during rush.

Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has all the literal makings of a B-movie without any of the self referential and irreverent humor of its more successful predecessors, such as the recent Sharknado and Piranha 3D. For some inexplicable reason, the makers behind the film chose to minimize the comedy, and without humor it is just dull.

A B-movie stuff wouldn't be true to itself if it didn't fail at some basic film making techniques, and the sound production, anaconda effects and dialogue overall are pretty terrible. And for a B-movie where gigantic creatures are constantly killing humans, it was pretty weak on the gore and creativity in the death scenes, with the only amusing part being croc on anaconda casualties.

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The Anaconda franchise is my favorite guilty pleasure film series out there, so when I watched this I expected some silly CGI fights with the Anaconda and the Crocodile, but I didn't really get it. The anacondas are in this film for a total of about 7 minutes, and the short fight we get between them is disappointing in every sense of the word. What really made this film boring though was the characters. They were either really stupid, really bland or mean and annoying. The characters in the Anaconda franchise are pretty much always terrible but at least they're terrible in a fun way, these characters had me bored to death. I don't recommend this film at all even if you enjoy the other films in the Lake Placid and/or Anaconda series.

A giant crocodile from "Black Lake" is captured by muscle-bound Stephen Billington (as Beach) and hook-armed Robert Englund (as Jim Bickerman). This is so a team of scientists can experiment on crocodile and snake DNA. The animals escape and begin to eat people. Six miles away, the attacks continue in "Clear Lake". Fish and wildlife officer Corin Nemec (as Will "Tull" Tully) from "Clear Lake" teams up with "Black Lake" sheriff and neighbor Yancy Butler (as Reba) to investigate...

This Syfy TV movie combines three concepts; we have the "Lake Placid" series, the "Anaconda" spin-offs and the "vs" match-ups. This story is not three times as good, however. This is average fare. "A.B. Stone" and writer Berkeley Anderson have the most fun with a couple of secondary items. First, clumsy deputy Oliver Walker (as Ferguson) is good comic relief. Second, there is a generous amount of screen time given to beautifully-proportioned young women in tight-fitting bikinis.

*** Lake Placid vs Anaconda (4/25/15) A.B. Stone ~ Corin Nemec, Yancy Butler, Robert Englund, Oliver Walker

Lake Placid vs Anaconda (2015)

** (out of 4)

This made-for-TV film is the fifth film in both the LAKE PLACID and ANACONDA series and a direct continuation of LAKE PLACID: THE FINAL CHAPTER, which, as I predicted in my review of that film, wasn't really the last in the series. This film here is pretty simple as a group of scientists take the blood of a Lake Placid croc and mixes it into the body of a genetically made anaconda. Soon several people are being attacked by the creatures.

Look, if you're watching a movie called LAKE PLACID VS ANACONDA then you should know what you're getting into. If you're wanting high art, intense drama or brilliant acting then you shouldn't be checking this thing out. If you want to watch a low-budget "C" monster mash then this one here isn't all that bad. If you watch enough of these SyFy movies then you know that some of them are downright horrid but thankfully this one here never quite gets that bad. Thankfully this movie never takes itself too serious.

Both Yancy Butler and Robert Englund are back from the previous films in the LAKE PLACID series and both are a joy to watch. Butler can use that deep voice like no one else and you believe that she's tough and willing to kick your butt. Englund actually gets a few funny bits here so his comic timing works just fine. The supporting cast of players are also entertaining in their own ways. As you'd expect, the crocodiles and anacondas are being performed by some really bad CGI. When you see such effects it reminds you that you're watching a "C" movie but I will say that the effects are slightly better than what we normally get for a film like this.

I think most viewers will know whether or not a film like this is for them or not. Obviously if you prefer high art there's really no point in watching this. If you just want some cheap entertainment then there's no doubt that there are much better movies out there for that but as far as these "monster mash" movies go, this one here really isn't all that bad. Stupid for certain but mildly entertaining.

Granted, I knew well enough when I sat down to watch the 2015 movie "Lake Placid vs Anaconda" from the title alone that this was most likely going to be a stinker. And it was. Oh, how it was.

But hey, I do enjoy the occasional creature feature, and some of the "Lake Placid" and "Anaconda" movies have actually been watchable, and with iconic Robert Englund in the movie, of course I had to watch it. Now, I am wondering why he agreed to appear in a movie such as this.

The storyline in "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" is as generic as they come, even for a creature feature. Man is manipulating with Mother Nature and messing with the genes of animals, when something goes awry and the creatures escape to wreak havoc on the local area.

Now, the storyline could have worked, as it was generic enough to actually be essentially the same as every other "Lake Placid" or "Anaconda" movie, but it was so dumbed down by a lack of proper acting and atrocious CGI that it was such a horrible experience to sit through this movie and bear witness to such god awful CGI were even made in 2015.

I can't honestly recommend that you waste your time, money or effort on this movie from writer Berkeley Anderson and director A.B. Stone.

My rating of "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" is a mere three out of ten stars. Stay well clear of this one, people.