Even Lambs Have Teeth

Too much of the action left to the imagination. Extremely bad dialogue and while the acting wasn't bad, it was never elevated beyond mediocre. Sure, the girls were extremely pretty! But it wasn't enough to save this. A few good moments in a laughably horrible movie. And the soundtrack was completely nonsensical. It had no role in complementing the on screen activity at all. Absurdly distracting.

I've seen better, but I've seen a lot and I mean A LOT worse. You get what you clicked to watch. If you don't expect much you'll find it amusing. On a scale of match stick fire to full on dumpster fire- I'd give it an accidentally catching your favorite barbie's hair on fire.

I saw this movie at its "world premiere" in Denver in October 2015. The cast and crew were on hand to talk about it before and after. This review is spoiler free because there is very little to spoil.

The film is a quick 80 min. So quick that it feels rushed, not much thought was put into the most crucial scenes. The actors said it took 3 weeks to shoot, 12 hours a day, but it felt more like they had banged it out in a few days. Things happen very suddenly and with very little weight or consequence. I'm guessing that's due to the very low budget. Most of the action occurs off-screen, something the crew claims to be intentional, but I suspect it was also the effect of limited funds and even more limited imagination, since there are plenty of low-budget films who managed way more creative solutions in the face of scarce financing.

There are, to be fair, a few really funny moments, but on the whole the entire script is too ludicrous to take even halfway seriously. If somebody invites you to see this film, bring a bottle of booze and settle in. You're in for a night of amateurish acting and terrible puns. These lambs may have teeth, but they're small and dull.

Katie (Tiera Skovbye) and her best friend, the promiscuous Sloane (Kirsten Prout), travel to perform philanthropic work in organic farming for a month and then go shopping in New York for a week. Katie 's mother is traveling on vacation to Cuba and her brother Jason (Michael Karl Richards), who is an FBI agent, will drive the girls to the farm. He asks Katie to contact him every day using a code and leaves the girls in a bus stop to the farm on the road. However they accept a ride to the farm from the amicable locals Jed (Garrett Black) and Lucas (Jameson Parker) in a bar. However they kidnap the two girls and leave them half-naked and chained to containers in the middle of nowhere. Then they bring bizarre clients and force Katie and Sloane to prostitute for them. Meanwhile Jason looks for Katie and Sloane since he received messages without the code and contact Sheriff Andrews (Craig March), who is also part of the criminal ring. When Katie and Sloane succeed to escape, they seek revenge against the gang.

"Even Lambs Have Teeth" is a shallow thriller that becomes a funny comedy. The slut Sloane is an annoying character with her promiscuous behavior. The edition is poor and the story has no depth for the serious situation. The abused girls sing while driving the pickup truck as if their suffering was a school prank. The crime spree does not have any consequences. Better off watching "I Spit on Your Grave" (1978) to see the feelings of an abused woman. My vote is five.

Title (Brazil): Not Available

This movie plot has been done so many times and this film does not have any new tales on the old ones. Don't fix what isn't broken. The second half of this film also is so odd, you feel something happened and you missed it for the characters to seem like completely new characters so quickly. I will commend the special effects for the gory scenes but overall, not recommended.