Green Ghost and the Masters of the Stone

My friend and I are the only 2 people in the theater which is always a great feeling as we can speak freely (not a slam by the way, this happens to us a lot where we live). We're only watching this because a Texas rule is to consume anything with Danny Trejo in it.

About 10 minutes into the movie, the plot, effects, and acting make us say "Why is this in theaters instead of a free streaming service?" We begin to deconstruct what's happening. As children, the 3 main characters are all the same age, yet as adults, Charlie is 15+ years older so now we've moved on to "Why is this guy the lead?" We start wondering if this is a regular guy who's so rich that he managed to fund a film just so he could see himself on the big screen. We begin Googling... turns out that is in fact the case. A real life, rich car dealership owner is starring in his own film. Wow!

Looking at this movie in a vacuum, it's average at best. The effects are decent enough. The fight choreography is serviceable. The acting is just plain fine. The tough pill to swallow is the storyline. It is remarkably choppy and jumps around with charcter actions not being earned, and the plotholes will take you out of it all completely.

This quickly exposed itself as a passion project by a wealthy guy with a big ego... then we had the rug pulled out from us. The ending credits revealed that irl Charlie was in fact raised by an irl Nana and you are shown a myriad of heart warming pictures of them as they grow older together. It ends up being a really sweet homage to what looks to be an amazing woman by an eternally grateful guy. And I mean, if most of us could give our mother figures the world, we would. The fact this guy actually did it is commendable and you can't fault him for that. I'm sure there's still some ego there (c'mon, guy, you gave yourself first and second billing in the end credits lol) but at the same time, he didn't give himself a 25 year old love interest which is always the case with these. So I don't know, maybe this is 100% sincere. Ultimately, the film resonated with us as a touching Mother's Day gift one week prior to the occasion and made us more appreciative of our own moms who we routinely overlook. And a movie that can do that is a win in my book.

It's never good when the producer of an action movie is also the star- in this case a guy who's 50-something thinking he can play the brother of 20-somethings- but I watched this cuz Danny Trejo. Imagine Big Trouble in Little China but without good actors or a good script. The plot revolves around setting up supernatural fights, which themselves are well done, but there's nothing new or imaginative in this story or its characters. (Is anyone else tired of magic + kungfu movies?)

Not very good. The whole thing feels like a kids film from the 80s. The comedy is very scarce and the bits that exist are not funny enough. It's basically a cheesy action film with a video game plot.

Was it worth the wait? The first Green Ghost trailer was uploaded to YouTube in 2016, giving the impression of a brawl tournament type of movie. In the trailer, Charlie Clark/Green Ghost was actually featured and named last. A few years later a second trailer surfaced which was a bit longer than the previous one and again, made it look like a fight tournament movie. Both trailers have been removed by Charlie Clark ever since.

Well, Green Ghost and the Master of the Stone is nothing like the two old trailers suggested, and it is nothing like the campy but fun zero budget Green Ghost mini series from the, I assume 2000s, also starring Charlie Clark.

The movie version is a PG-13 rated action adventure martial arts fantasy family comedy, and it is a drag. The plot is silly, the characters are shallow and the fights are mostly overlong and look like a martial arts stunt demonstration. I didn't care for the fantasy elements, I'm here for the fights and they are literally lacking punch. If anything, the best fight was the first fight with Bobby Lashley. What should've been the highlight was Marko Zaror vs. Cain Velasquez, but it turned out to be the worst fight. I don't even remember if Charlie Clark/Green Ghost had any fights at all. In the mini series he was beating up and knocking out huge muscle guys by the minute. In the movie version he is in training, like the Karate Kid.

There's really nothing else to say about this film. It's not good and not memorable. If you like Danny Trejo it might be worth a rental but watch at own risk.

It has some funny juvenile humor. It feels like a mashup between a Marvel comic book, Kung Fu martial arts, Mexican comedies films drenched in cheese. My favorite parts were with Danny and the homage to the guy's mother during the end credit. The end credits touched me.