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MGM Exec #1: I've got a great idea, boss! I don't think that Hollywood has ruined enough musicals by making them into movies...let's do another one!

MGM Exec #2: Hey, that's a great idea! I'm so nostalgic for those days when we really bastardized the Broadway versions of musicals.

MGM Exec #3: How about we do that to "Annie Get Your Gun" this time?

Head Honcho: I love it! Put thousands of dollars into the project and make sure to get the most expensive sets and costumes! I want it to be really colorful! And hire the most expensive actors too, even if they wouldn't be right for their parts!

MGM Exec #1: Let's cast really subtle actors as energetic characters! If they under-act, who really cares? We'll balance it out with Betty Hutton, the goofiest actress in Hollywood! Her over-acting makes Jim Carrey look like Keanu Reeves - even though those people haven't been born yet! Don't forget that, when a woman has a crush on a man, she has an irresistible urge to bulge her eyes, hang her mouth wide open, and stare at him weakly. Have Betty Hutton really over-do this move at least 2 or 3 times.

MGM Exec #2: You know what, let's make the movie over-long too, despite cutting out some parts of the script. We'll do that by adding completely unnecessary scenes and having it paced fairly slowly.

MGM Exec #3: Oh, and we should make the ending seem more forced as well!

Head Honcho: Perfect! Oh, and don't forget to include plenty of offensive stereotypes of Native Americans!

MGM Executives: (leaving to go worship Satan) We will!

THE END

P.S. Well, okay, I don't really hate the movie THAT much, but it was very disappointing. One more thing: I'm not any good at catching movie flubs, but this movie also contains the most blatant goof ever. I am baffled that no one caught it before the movie was released. It comes just before Hutton sings "You Cain't Get a Man With a Gun" - you'll catch it as long as you have eyes.

Negative stereotyping? Anti-black cliches? Oh, you can b***h, b***h, b***h all you want, Jesse Jackson - I'm not African-American, but all the African-Americans in the theater were laughing as hard as I was. I don't understand how anyone can find this movie offensive (except for maybe Jesse Jackson alone, since he really gets shot down in this movie). I didn't think it portrayed black people in a bad way. I thought it was the most pro-black movie I've seen in a while: these people had a hell of a lot more personality than the typical Hollywood portrayal of an African-American (see "Not Another Teen Movie" for a send-up of the "Token Black Guy", or see "Canadian Bacon" for an explanation that it's always the black guy that dies; actually, don't see those movies, they're pretty bad...but I digress). And damn, was it funny. One of the funniest movies of the year. Highly recommended if you wanna have a good time.

For God's sake, will you people calm down? It seems that all that has to happen is for "Citizen Kane" to make the AFI's #1 slot on a top 100 greatest movies list, and every yokel whose favorite movie is "The Matrix" or "Titanic" or "Spider-Man" thinks they should see this movie, and, feeling that it didn't live up to the title of #1, thinks they should bash the film on the IMDB comments.

Take "Citizen Kane" for what it is: a great drama even today, a showcase of some very talented people, a very innovative movie in film history, technologically thrilling for its time. If you're expecting the greatest movie of all time, you will probably be disappointed. If you have never seen an old movie before, "Citizen Kane" is not the place to start. If you have no appreciation for old movies, "Citizen Kane" will not cure you of that.

If, however, you are merely expecting a great drama / mystery, and you actually have pretty good taste in movies, and you are not afraid of black-and-white movies, then by all means see "Citizen Kane"; you won't regret it. But as for #1 movie of all-time, well...if you are an average viewer and not a distinguished critic, "Citizen Kane" probably won't live up to the hype.

P.S. If you think I am only saying it's a great drama / mystery because it's the AFI's #1 movie, why don't you go watch "Titanic" again?