V/H/S Viral

Coming off of a franchise that I at least enjoyed V/H/S Viral was a massive disappointment! This film feels like nothing more than a cheap parody off of the other two (far superior) films in the franchise. As found footage horror film, the goal is to be scary and/or disturbing using the realism factor of "found footage", something that the first two films pulled off fairly well. Viral takes that film premise and makes a mockery out of it. While V/H/S Viral can be at least "entertaining" at times, I can with certainty tell you that you aren't missing much if you skip this one and stick to the first two.

This movie was utterly disappointing.

Most of the movie includes an over-saturation of CGI effects and unnecessary action. The plot line did not make much sense at all and left me more bewildered than interested; adding to my disinterest was the terribly written dialogue of our wildly underdeveloped main characters. There are also a lot of forced scenes to progress the plot and just like this movie, they were all over the place.

I was also saddened to see this movie shy away from what made it successful: Fear. There are almost no scenes in this entire movie that makes me jump and the intensity in this movie is just lost.

This movie is borderline unwatchable. I tried watching this in two sittings and by the third I fell asleep. It's so bad, it's like they hunted down the worst horror writers and directors in hopes to sabotage a continuing V/H/S franchise and they succeeded. The camera-work is horrendous. It makes the final fight in Alex Cross look like The Raid 2. Awkward edits, annoying static every five seconds, terribly uninteresting plots and terribly written too. It's a shame because there was much potential from the first two V/H/S movies that this could become a good horror anthology franchise because it's such a great premise and found-footage is best in small 20-30 minutes doses but this movie tried to make an actual story with a couple random segments that make no sense.

Gun to my head, if I had to pick the best segment it would have to be the one with the alien penises. That sentence alone should tell you enough about this movie. It was such a dumb segment and it made no sense but actually attempted suspense and some form of story. The main story is dogsh*t. I hate this movie a lot. I remember thinking after V/H/S/2 "man, what a great idea for a horror franchise. I hope they continue these" and then Viral had to come along and take a heaping dump on film and sell it as a V/H/S movie.

If you liked the first two V/H/S movies, don't watch this. Don't ever watch this movie unless you want to feel depressed and p*ssed off in which case by all means V/H/S: Viral is the only thing you should watch. This movie sucks balls. It should have never been made and whoever greenlit this atrocious script should be fired if they haven't been already. I wish I could unwatch this movie. Spare yourselves.

This movie is so awful it put me in a bad mood. Stay away, and I say this as a guy with an original VHS poser.

The wraparound story tries to break formula but ends up being a mess. I'm fine with a mess if it's entertaining or scary, but this felt like it was shot in a weekend.

The first story doesn't feel like it belongs in a VHS movie and the tone doesn't match. It's something your mom would like.

The middle story starts out promising but manages to feel like a parody of itself by the end. My favorite (?) of the bunch.

The third story feels like it should be airing on MTV in 2003.

Another bummer is that the directors have done good movies (Resolution and Timecrimes), I don't know how they lost their mojo here.

Also, there are only three stories. I'm cool with a shorter movie if it's a better movie, but they cut the fourth. People speculate bit was axed because it was so bad. How terrible must it have been to be left out of this limp, toothless pile?

Any soul, any scary or funny from the first two is not here. Avoid.

Why are people hating on this movie? They're getting basically what they got in the first film! A series of incoherent found footage films strung together with a premise slimmer than an anorexic's g-string!

It really isn't any better or any worse than the other films in the series. It may be the weakest yet it still has something to offer. You've got one great film, Parallel Monsters, very spooky, very trippy. One pretty good film that slowly grows on you, Bonestorm, which is saying something, since I really hate skateboarders. One highly mediocre film, Dante the Great, that's like something out of a lame SyFy Channel movie yet still watchable, and the wrap around film to tie it altogether, (the not so) Vicious Circles, the weakest of the bunch.

Plus there's a short and incoherent section of what looks like a bunch of Latino gangbangers having a party and one vato flips out and slaughters them all for no apparent reason. Weird. Loco.

And there's a gratuitous helping of cringe inducing gore, i.e. a man being dragged to pieces from a moving truck.

You're never getting a masterpiece of horror from the V/H/S movies, you're getting what's expected. One annoyance is the opening segment uses far too much feedback noise, a little of that goes a long way.

Free your mind and watch it for what it is, something to see and enjoy once and forget it! There's no classics to be found here! Adios, pendejos!