Fort Tilden

The movie's premise is something with some potential. The characters are good in that they are similar in some ways and polar opposites in others. The dialog is good and it is well acted. However, it never captures the viewer. It always seems like the movie is going to pick up and then it never does. There were so many opportunities for great comedy that were just completely missed. The bike stealing scene for example could have been turned into something rather than simply having the characters stare blindly as their bicycle is stolen. It felt like the movie went on forever and the premise got thinner with each passing minute. I wish I could recommend this film because I love independents but it just simply never got going and the director, where as it was very well shot, really let some good opportunities slip away.

'Fort Tilden' is the tale of a ten-mile road trip by a couple of bored Brooklyn brats, who head for the beach to hook up with a pair of charmless dudes. Their airhead odyssey comprises only lame exchanges and minor fiascoes involving various acquaintances and strangers, so the big adventure soon turns into a plodding marathon by bicycle, cab and foot. The 'heroines' are portrayed as spineless selfish simpletons, and although the film is clearly intended to be a comedy, it's short on laughs, wit or interest.

The actresses struggle gamely with the pedestrian material, but their characters' whiny griping and fecklessness leaves one hoping a truck will squash them into roadkill at every intersection. When they finally meet their romantic prospects on a gray windswept seashore, the encounter is just another flaccid flop in a series of screw-ups.

It's a good movie. Coffee scene alone is worth it. You won't be bummed that you spent time watching it. What more do you want? Okay, so IMDb wants five lines of text or they won't publish my review. I watched it twice to catch certain lines and nuances. Just watch it. It's good. Okay, they need another line of text...

Two neurotic, millennial females, from NY. The self-absorbed art scene. Pretty sad actually. Empty group of people with no actual talent, but they are all too fragile to tell each other that the aren't any good.

If ever you wondered what happened to the 'valley girl' ethic, rest assured that it is alive and well in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Harper (Bridey Elliott) & Allie (Clare McNulty) are 20-something best friends whose parental affluence hasn't really required them to mature in the years since college. This comedy follows their ill-conceived attempt at being thrifty as they choose to bike (rather than taxi) across Brooklyn to a Rockaway Beach party. These are two of the most vapid and shallow characters ever portrayed as protagonists - they don't learn a thing as they spend hundreds of dollars during their 10 mile odyssey - and that's what's so funny. As for winning the SXSW Grand Jury Prize, I can totally see the comparisons with, festival darling, Lena Dunham's 'Girls' - which is a guilty pleasure of mine - but, where Dunham's wit and goofy characters coax empathy, the 'Fort Tilden' characters have no apparent redeeming qualities. I laughed a bit but this is no Patsy & Edina or Romy & Michele; I got more than my fill of Harper, Allie, and their equally self-centered world.