Sharkansas

There are already 50 shark movies and most of them are weak even for the fans of the shark attack films. This one is not the worst but actually quite hilarious one.

Somebody blows up something and the prehistoric monsters are released (which time already? Dinoshark, Malibu Shark Attack, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Megalodon, Jurassic Shark). Parallel, some good looking female prisoners are taken to the forest for some involuntary work. Nobody knows that one of the ladies is organising an escape plan. On the way back the prison truck is ambushed by Rayne - the vampire slayer and a lover of one of the prisoners. Nonetheless, their plans to reach for freedom are quickly revised by river/sand sharks. The local area is also investigated by two agents - Sculder and Molly I presume.

This flick contains everything bad you can get in a shark attack film. It also has everything charming concerning the amateur productions. The special effects are practically none, most of the attacks happen in an off-screen fashion. There is a cheesy romance subplot, god knows what for. However, I must say I was interested in the events. Why? Because the humour was really good. Actually it makes you go throughout the movie quite quick and fortunately it's only 80 minutes long. So normally it would be like 3/10 but I gave more for the funny parts.

Sharks again, really? This time Traci "Controversy magnet" Lords and Dominique "It almost looked like I was going to have a decent career" Swain star in yet another shark film.

When a group of female prisoners transport gets hijacked it comes down to them and the prison guards to team up to fight off the onslaught of "Wait for it" Sharkasaurus's. Prehistoric sharks that can move through land as easily as water! As you can imagine it's pretty dire and the distinct lack of budget cripples it. If you can't afford to make a movie about these beasties then simply don't!

Ironically the most famous performers in this film are the worst actors, maybe they just can't be assed anymore. Could you if you were in a movie called Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre?

The Good:

Couple of decent enough performances

The Bad:

WTF level cgi

Generic, clichéd, the works

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Every shark movie creator thinks that a giant shark can swim & sneak up on people in a foot of water

Men are non-committal, women are mysterious

Traci Lords should have stuck to porn

The only way to save this by using the script, if there is one, is to start over. Hire Joan Crawford. Even dead she could bring some charm to the screen. The plot is somewhat tied to the great title, so there should be a women's prison with some sharks. If there is a Vincent Price type somewhere with a Shakespearean accent and piercing eyes, that would help. The cast here seems to come from a diet beverage commercial. The special effects are OK. The characters are written to be very stupid. Many of them seem to do what the audience knows is wrong. Fracking is the bad guy. I would guess they will make a buck or two from the title. It is a movie. They did get some people together with a camera operator and they made this. It is not a good bad movie, but it is OK for Bad Movie Night if you can't find Hillbillys in a Haunted House. No nudity. Probably OK for kids who like very dumb movies. I think Flaws is a better Jaws parody.

On the other hand a lot of other things are also out of sight. Or rather not to be seen. While some may expect nudity in this, the female cast does look nicely even with their clothes on, it is rather sad that the gore is missing. At least for me that is true.

The CGI is as obvious (=bad?) as you'd expect it to be in a (s)low budget movie. The acting can not always be called that - or it would be an offense to actual acting. That rings especially true in the beginning with our two characters that incite ... the inciting incident. Not a lot good to be said here, this was a waste of time and I think you will feel the same for the lack of many things (some of which I have mentioned)

This is awesome, everything a good b grade movie should be except for being surprisingly low on gratuitous nudity given the subject matter.

Underrated movie methinks, i'd have it at least 2-3 rating points higher than jurassic world, i mean it's sh*t and ridiculous but at least it knows it's sh*t and ridiculous and doesn't pretend it isn't and didn't cost the GDP of a small nation to make.

The CGI is an embarrassment but that's OK cause you're too busy laughing at this movie jumping the shark by introducing us to prehistoric amphibious land sharks, the acting is a little better than horrendous which suits the tone of the movie perfectly.

There wasn't a great deal of logic or sanity in the making of this film, someone just said f*ck it i wanna make a movie about prehistoric sharks that are somehow also capable of swimming through land (no, i am serious really you need to watch this) and have them eat all these prison porn stars that are on the most ridiculous work release program ever.

Highly recommend :D