Anaconda

When I heard of Anaconda's release I was eager to see what new twist they could add to the snake movie genre. Sadly, I personally couldn't find anything to distinguish between other numerous snake related movies.

If you've seen Anaconda 1,2,3,4,5 , snakes on a plane and all the other snake movies then you really don't need to bother watching this.

You'll find find the same tired snake movie theme here.. Some dudes upset a snake and it chases them around for ~ 110 mins.

There are so many snake movies now , they are in danger of eclipsing the 'down on his luck' detective movie genre total.

Me and my dad went to watch this movie with low expectations. And we were surprised by the fact that the reality didnt meet the expectations. In fact it couldn't meet them.

We both fell asleep several times during the movie. And after the first 10 min we already wanted to leave the theater. (It wasn't only us, we LITTERALY saw people leave their seats) Now bout the movie in itself:terrible.

Really really terrible. We don't recommend to anyone. The jokes don't hit, the acting is Disney Channel quality (NOT EVEN) and my dad says that this the reason why Hollywood doesn't hold a right of existence anymore.

For me personally, one of the worst movies if ever watched in my entire lifetime.

So if you're thinking about watching this movie, save yourself money and time because it is absolutely not worth it. Quote from my dad: Horrendus.

Let's be honest, this film is nothing more than unpretentious entertainment. Jack Black and Paul Rudd play lifelong buddies who, having mutual mid-life crises, decide to fulfil a lifelong dream to remake Anaconda (1997).

Off they go to the Amazon with their two friends and a tiny budget. Shenanigans ensue.

Yes, it made me laugh. Yes, it made me cringe. Yes, it was entirely predictable. Yes, it was worth seeing from some easy-going fun.

I suppose I should say at the outset of the review that Anaconda (2025) was intentionally a low-brow, silly film with no aspirations beyond that from the get-go. As such, in a way the flick is to a degree review-proof in terms of a critical assessment. I mean, the whole premise of it is ridiculous, so pointing out plot holes, leaps in logic and the like is sort of futile.

As a movie, Anaconda (2025) is at more than a few times confused as to what kind of film it was trying to be. There's a secondary, supposedly serious subplot involving gold poachers that was woven into the main storyline which I found more distracting than anything else. I found the main plot involving the four lifetime friends now in middle age trying to recapture the failed dreams of their teenage years was a decent-enough premise.

I would agree with other reviewers that as a viewer thinking too heavily about what you are seeing when you watch Anaconda (2025) undoubtedly inhibits enjoying it, so definitely turn your brain off and laugh as one reviewer wisely said.

Even with all that, for myself I didn't find the laughs exactly coming at me hard and fast, comedy being subjective. Part of that may have to do with going way back never having quite purchased a ticket on the Jack Black train in terms of my perception of his comedic ability, and Anaconda (2025) has a LOT of Jack Black front and center. Another part of that may have to do with the many jarring tonal shifts Anaconda (2025) takes throughout, trying to be this sort of wistful, sweet, silly yet at times serious, scary, thrilling Comedy/Action/Adventure hybrid. Anaconda (2025) really doesn't pull this blending of elements off particularly well.

However, I will also say that there were several scenes that did make me laugh out loud and a few sudden scare shots that made me jump. None of which were gut-bustingly funny or on-the-edge-of-my-seat thrilling, but effective enough. In truth, I hadn't wanted to see this flick and as such went into it with very low expectations. By all the criterion I listed above, Anaconda (2025) basically made it over the lowered bar. I saw it yesterday, so I figured I'd write this review today because doubtless come tomorrow I won't even remember having seen it, such is the disposable nature of it. It is what it is and overall a semi-decent one of those.

The plot was predictable and repetitive, humour was good I will admit. Directors just put Jack black in any movie to disguise the bad plot that hides behind him. Could definitely have been done way better, but this movie just feels like a waste of money and time. Acting was also mediocre, wasted chance.