A Perfect Child of Satan

Having suffered through every single feature film from rapist/manipulator/abuser/all around bad person/director Lucifer Valentine and despising all of them other than the pseudo-documentary Black Metal Veins which is a horrifying film about heroin addiction and not Valentine's vomit/rape home movies edited into a feature. I figured I would give his one short film, which is also his second highest rated film, a watch because I hate myself and well...

It's predictable and kind of uninteresting but I was never really bored by it, I think the fact that it is a short film really helps in keeping it watchable. As an added plus it doesn't have any vomit or super explicit on screen violence. It actually has a plot to it and tries to develop the main character. The acting ain't too good but to be completely honest, I still found the last 5 or so minutes to be very uncomfortable and, dare I say, disturbing.

Basically the film is about a woman who is a prostitute meeting a guy online and believing he is the man of her dreams and you can tell where it goes from there.

This film and Black Metal Veins are proof that Valentine can make an interesting film without just making fetish gore out of his home movies of rape and vomit.

The man is still a monster mind you and I will never purchase or support his work directly so I'm not gonna recommend this film but If you REALLY want to seek it out just find it somewhere online for free.

I had not heard of this until browsing effedup and liked the description. I really enjoy shorts when they're well done, which this is, and I've enjoyed Valentine's other films, so this was a no brained to watch. It could have been even shorter, as the first and second acts (mostly the first) seemed to drag on, but I'm assuming this was done intentionally in order to fulfill the juxtaposition the viewer is faced with in the third act.

The use of sound is spectacularly harrowing in this. With the use of some sound modifiers and specifically composed music, the mood and violence of the movie is compounded at least 5-fold. The brutality, while direct and unwieldy, did not NEED this type of effect to achieve intensity, but by utilizing these sound qualities the viewer is immediately captured in the middle of the brutality. Very well done.

This film won't be for everyone. Reading comments like "no point" and "boring" are obviously from folks who a) have not watched many shorts, and b) just don't "get it." The viewer doesn't always need to be left having answers or feeling resolution. In some cases, the unsettling nature of films (especially shorts) is what comes by way of NOT answering questions or by not ending on a happy note.

We warned, while there is no gore in the film, the violence is fast and intense. Very brutal.

What's the point? It wasn't boring (although it was awfully made, with terrible editing and a lot of filler content), but it just felt pointless. The first 15 or so minutes are pretty repetitive and have no real purpose, but due to the short length it doesn't get boring. It could still have lost 10 minutes. The last 5 minutes are really the reason you watch it, but what's the point? Is it for the gore? If so, then there's way too many cuts to see it clearly, and the close-ups are just too close up to see much. Is it to be scared? It's not scary, and, although it's mildly unsettling, there's some elements that are laughably bad (mainly the sound and the handling of the obvious twist at the moment it occurs). With that being said, is it so bad it's good? I did get a good laugh out of it, but outside of the one moment where the twist occurs, it's just pretty bad with a lot of random jump cuts and bad camera angles. Nothing to laugh at.

But really, why watch it? There's better movies that you could watch no matter what your reason is for watching it.

The first half of the short film was basically an audiobook you could listen to for the exact same effect.

The second half is edited so significantly it's painfully obviously just hiding a low budget's attempt at snuff. HOWEVER the film has some shock quality and didn't bore me. I wish more movies would cut themselves to 25 minutes and not include all the zZz material.

A Perfect Child of Satan (2012)

** (out of 4)

This short film from Lucifer Valentine has us introduced to a prostitute. The first portion of the film we get to know her and then we see her go meet a client who apparently is much more than that as he's going to change the prostitutes life.

A PERFECT CHILD OF Satan isn't a good film but it's certainly not an awful one. Basically the film tries to be clever because it wants to make us care about this girl and then shock us with the events that follow. I must say that the short was rather predictable and it took a bit too long to get to the twist and its violent aftermath. IF you're a fan of the director's work then you might want to check it out but there's certainly nothing special here.