Jack the Giant Killer

While I hate most of the Asylum's movies with a passion, I keep watching because there is something somewhat entertaining about their awfulness and also there's a glimmer of hope that they'd do something halfway tolerable. The Asylum oddly enough have made a few tolerable movies though the best they get is only decent. Jack the Giant Killer is not the worst from them, but it is still really bad. It looks amateurish from a starting point. Watching the costumes, sets and props I didn't and still don't have a clue about what time period the movie was supposed to be set in, and the laughable special effects(especially with some of the worst dinosaur, seemingly poor and personality-less substitutes for giants, effects I've seen for any movie) and editing that looks that someone was having a drug hallucination are no better. The music sounds weird, is not memorable in the slightest and doesn't fit at all. The dialogue is stilted and often sounded like senseless babbling with the actors clearly struggling to get their words out, it also has a lot of cheese and this is when the murky sound is not drowning it out too much. The story, aside from it having a complete lack of originality and borrowing heavily from the likes of Jurassic Park and Aliens, is a structurally thin bore that doesn't make sense or have any charm, fun, wonder, thrills or heart. In my mind, the attempt to mix a Grimms fairytale-like atmosphere with a quasi-modern twist also didn't gel. The characters are annoying and never developed, they're just there for the sake of it. The acting is poor, Jamie Atkins badly under-performs to the point that his performance is lost amidst everything else. Ben Cross and Jane March(who actually gives the movie's best performance) fare better but are severely under-used so while they try hard their characters just don't register and they don't bring much particularly new to them either. To conclude, not The Asylum's worst but has nothing to recommend it apart from perhaps Jane March's beauty. 1/10 Bethany Cox

What a sad state of affairs when Asylum (the makers of this sad little tale) throws out garbage like this with a cast of people who aren't even trained in the art of acting. Wow, they must have taken the directors wife and kid hostage to make him do it. One consolation, this film of inferior quality should only have taken a couple of weeks to throw together so no real harm done.

The story starts of with some Real Steal rip off material as Jack is fixing his robot (I know, lol...I don't remember Aliens style robots in any other version of Jack...Beanstalk before!) while struggling to say his lines and use his hands at the same time. lol yes, I remembered a classic bit of acting when we first see the ridiculous beanstalk in a field. There is a cop standing there with a very small crowd of people and he's right in front of them saying "nothing to see here, move along", I was like WTF! Nothing to see? Also the way he was holding this crowd of 4 people back was stupid. They are in a field and can stand anywhere but chose to all squeeze in front of the only cop there. Another thing is, when Jack gets nabbed by the tree branch thing and gets taken up in front of everyone. Not one person seems to notice it happening!! Garbage, garbage, garbage.

I don't do the "this is the worst film ever" speech because it's cliché and rarely true. I have to say though, it's damn close. The acting is atrocious, the editing looks like it was done by a crack addict badly needing a fix and the music, the mf'king music! Where in the hell did they dig it up from? It sounded a bit like those,(I'm not too sure of the name) Stylaphone? Is that the thing Rolf Harris used to advertise? Well, it sounded like that.

Not a film to be watched, even if your bored, drunk, high, low...in fact...just don't watch it. I did and I'm still queasy.

Where do I start? Some movies ARE so bad they're good. I love cheesy movies and was in stitches for most of such classics as 'Killer Clowns from Outer Space', Megashark vs Giant Octopus', and 'Robot Jox'. This I did not love. It was annoying. I'm just not entirely sure why this was simply bad and not cheesy.

Awful acting, Awful plot (in fact, practically none), poor casting, poor direction, bad special effects. Actually, they weren't ALL bad - maybe the production was taken over seriously. Nope, that can't be it as it's already been pointed out the costumes and props were from entirely different time periods (CCTV cameras on walls anyone?)

I think it was simply a lack of care about any single part of the filmmaking process. It's like someone just stood in the street, shouted 'Who wants to make a film that's very loosely based on Jack and the Beanstalk', and the least interested people within earshot all inexplicably volunteered.

Don't watch this film (unless you're imminently dying and have nothing better to do when I guess it might actually make your remaining time feel longer)

Well, this movie was nothing at all what I had expected it to be. I had expected somewhat of a new interpretation of the classic tale of Jack and the bean stalk, but alas, that was not to be.

This is a story that borrows heavily from that story yes, but it does so in a very nonchalant way. It does however, pardon my French, manage to butcher up the entire story and try to put a weird, modern twist to it. But it just failed in every aspect.

The story ends up being a very broken apart set of fragments that doesn't really add up to a greater picture or unity. You just sit there wondering how this could come to be.

Mind you, that this is a The Asylum production, so that is a clear warning sign right there. I wasn't aware of that prior to obtaining the movie, and had I known, I wouldn't have wasted time or money on it. This is by far one of the more questionable movies from The Asylum that I have seen so far.

The CGI effects in the movie were quite bad, especially the big dinosaur-like creatures. They were just laughable. I will say that the floating brick building was actually quite nicely made, so thumbs up for that at least.

As for the acting, well there was nothing exceptional or mentionable here, and not even Ben Cross could manage to lift up anything in this particular movie.

This movie was definitely not meant for me as the audience, and it was a very strained ordeal to get through it. I ended up picking up my phone and playing some game during it as well, as I sort of lost interest in the storyline, which wasn't particularly solid to begin with, but I did manage to finish the movie. However, what would appeal to anyone in this movie is hard for me to put my finger upon; perhaps if you are a die-hard fan of anyone in the movie, but other than that, I just don't see the appeal.

Nope, it is not that good either.

The worst acting, SFX, story and overall film I have ever seen.

As others have said there is no actual time frame that it sits in, I was thinking 1950's but the uniforms and cars are wrong.

I don't know how much it cost to make but sometimes giving to charity is the right thing to do.

I just don't get it at all, there are no giants in it or did I miss them, there are dinosaurs though that people ride. When I say ride, the main villain if she can be called that was apparently riding a dinosaur at certain points (I say apparently because we only see her riding "Something", she looked like she enjoyed it anyway no matter what it was, which is nice).