Cumbres mortales

This film should never have been released to the public as it is so bad that someone could end up committing suicide from boredom. Actually I must get this film for my mother in law to watch with her daughter!!!!!!!!! Just kidding I love them both. The acting was soooooooooooooooo bad and the dialogue one hell of a lot worse if that is remotely possible. Why does anyone want to direst such crap? If the voting had -10 I would've chosen that score. Even the monsters were sooooooo bad that you can only see them in small bits or totally blurred. In fact the film should have a health warning attached to it. Don't waste your time on this crap. The only thing that was worth watching this crap is the fact that you see Zara Dimitrova's gorgeous and delicious lips. She really is one sexy foxy lady. Ummmmmmmmm.

That's how I found this garbage. I was a huge Highlander fan, the 1st movie and the TV show that is. Then it was canceled because Adrian Paul wanted to move on, do other things, damn did he aim low or what? That said, I'm also a Bigfoot fan, since the 70's with Legend of Boggy creek, campy, low budget movie, but a great film. That is why I sat through this movie. Dread man, dread. Dialog written by third graders, CGI by some teen on his laptop, and what was that creature supposed to be? I watched this so you, dear reader, won't have to.

The opening sequence of this SyFy production confused me . With a title involving both Abominable and Snowman in the title I was fully expecting the action to take place somewhere in the Himalayas only to notice that the location didn't really look like the Himalayas . Not necessarily a criticism because how many science fiction films have you seen supposedly set on another planet often resemble Earth , especially a strip of land in California if it's a Hollywood movie or a sand pit in Surrey if it's a British television show . As it transpires the setting is indeed North America which leads me to think why is it known by another title when DEADLY DESCENT would be the more fitting name for the film ?

Being a Syfy production you know what to expect and just to drive the point home it stars Adrian Paul so you really know what to expect - not much . It does contain all the flaws of the Syfy channel , one of Hollywood blockbuster standards and the budget of a TVM . This probably explains the oft quoted criticism on this page that the monsters are achieved via some very poor CGI that never convinces and one wonders if the producers could have just gone for men dressed up as monsters

The story plays out as you'd probably expect with a team of people trekking out to a remote wilderness miles away from any potential help then suddenly realising they are being stalked by a danger that is not human . That said DEADLY DESCENT tries to stop being entirely predictable and is slightly more bleak and nihilistic than you'd probably expect and if it wasn't for the poor CGI might have been held in better regard on this page

Abominable Snowman (2012)

* (out of 4)

If you're expecting SyFy to make good on last year's horrible BIGFOOT then you're sadly going to be disappointed. A group of professional snowboarders and skiers take to the mountains to look for a couple missing friends but soon they run into the title characters. ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN is yet another horrid bigfoot/yeti/snowman movie and it's a real shame. I love the actually myth of the creature but it's just mind-blowing that so many of the films have been downright awful. I'll start with the good right up front. The performances here were actually much better than you typically see in a film like this. Now for the bad stuff. We'll start with the actual monsters, which are among the worst you're ever going to see. Last year's BIGFOOT turned the creature into an awful looking Godzilla-sized monster. This film here makes them look like something a cat would cough up in the middle of the night. The actual look of the creatures are perhaps the worst I've ever seen. We can start with the fact that they're never the same size as in one scene they'll be the size of a car and then the next scene they're bigger than a large tree. Their size changes throughout but their hairy look and design make them look like a bear. In fact, my three-year-old son came out of his room while I was watching this and called them a bear. Even worse is that the awful CGI has a blurry look to them and it's just so bad that you have to wonder who signed off on them saying they'd be okay for a movie. The story is all rather predictable but with the lack of comedy, scares or drama, the thing just feels slow and boring. Lets all hope that one day the genre gets these monsters right but at this point lets hope no more turn up on SyFy.

Worse than the stuck-on-a-chairlift movie "Frozen" and only slightly better than the movie "Avalanche Sharks".

Fourth-rate acting, ridiculous script on so many different levels and completely unrealistic from a lifelong skier's point of view. Everything from the set, the premise, plot, storyline, dialog, acting, avalanche scene and assumptions and everything is as utterly-stupid as "Wild Hogs" is for motorcyclists.

Clearly the folks who wrote the script never skied a single day in their lives. No scene would play out in real life like it did in the movie, all scenes were contrived, cheesy and completely manufactured by amateurs from a bunny-slope cartoonish perspective. Even if you took away the snow monster piece, which is in a class by itself - everything about this movie is wrong, irreverent and unrealistic on every known level. You don't try to "outrun" and avalanche - you ski a 45 degree angle traverse! Duh! And if a party is caught in an avalanche - there are not these neatly-piled little mounds covering skiers who magically stick their arms upwards through the snow. If you are buried in an avalanche, there is not light in there - it is pitch black.

Skiers do not interact on any mountain like this - this is a movie for people who have never skied a day in their life and do not know any better. I could pretend to know a lot about Arctic Fishing and write a story about offshore fisherman who bought their equipment at the local Wal-mart too. Or who went fishing from jet skis in near the Aleutian Islands. But anyone who knows fishing more than me (which is almost anyone) would be insulted if I made a movie about fishing.

That is what I am talking about. If you do not know the subject matter and cannot appreciate the sport of skiing and boarding - then do not pretend to and try to make a movie about it. Go back to your ski park with your photo ops on your 5-day yuppie vacation at Vail where you belong - but it certainly is not in the backcountry - because you have no business being there or making a movie about it either. Go home and play video games, but stay out of the snow unless you actually have something that resembles a clue.

If you are going to make a movie about skiing, then consult people who really ski next time. I am not talking about yuppies wanna-bees who ski blue groomers on their "Griswold family ski vacation". I am talking about backcountry skiers, people who heli-ski or serve as a heli-guide, people who know how to use a beacon, probe and shovel and ski 50+ days per year - like me.

Do not waste five minutes on this movie - because you will never get those five minutes that you wasted ever back in you life. This movie portrays an artificial alternate reality about skiing - which has no basis in real life but only makes a mockery of the sport.