Bela Kiss: Prologue

Bela Kiss is theoretically based on a true story about a notorious serial killer whose crimes were discovered as WW1 was gearing up when the military attempted to confiscate barrels of gasoline and discovered mutilated bodies inside.

The soldiers that made the discovery are supposed to be so horrified that they immediately run off vomiting (apparently they weren't familiar with the horrors of trench warfare yet). Flash forward to the present and we have a van with five young people that just pulled a robbery and go to hide out in a no-tell motel for a while to avoid the cops. The place is elegant but very creepy, run by a crew of weirdos and filled with secret passages.

Once inside, we are told the not so interesting story of Bela Kiss, played Rudolf Martin, an actor perhaps best known for having played Dracula twice in both an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a TV movie called Prince of Darkness. Bela's back-story is dull, and perhaps in an attempt to make it seem more interesting, it is filmed in a visually lush, audacious style that reminded me of the film adaptation of Perfume A Love Story.

The move plods along bouncing from the uninteresting story of Bela Kiss to the uninteresting story of the young thieves, who pulled the robbery for some mysterious "boss" and are now turning on each other because of some soap opera style bickering between the leader and another guy over one of the girls (Kristina Klebe of Chillerama and Zombie's Halloween remake).

Basically, the only reasons I watched this movie were vague comparisons to Hostel and the presence of actress Kristina Klebe. Neither justified sitting through this dull, self serious mess. It's neither entertaining nor scary, there's a lot of blood but most violence occurs just barely off screen, and the plot contortions in the third act are just stupid.

Put simply, Bela Kiss is the prologue to a story that I have absolutely no interest in seeing completed.

I really ... really ... really ... really wanted to like this. I mean it. I even know someone who was involved in the production - though that person themselves said it didn't turn out good. Now that being said, let me state the positive things up front. Because this looks really good - camera and effects are well done. I can't imagine this having a big budget so Kudos to whoever was responsible for the look of the movie.

There is also the basic element of the movie. The Bela Kiss "true origin" this is sort of based on. Actually the movie might have been better if it concentrated on the past and wasn't trying to be modern and mixing the elements from back then to nowadays. Especially considering this is called Prologue ... more like Epilogue/Eulogy - sorry but the joke was too easy to not do.

That being said and which I think justifies me not giving this worse than the 3/10 it got, do not watch this dubbed in German. It is horrendous! And that is putting it mildly. Unfortunately for some reason Netflix Germany considered the German (clearly dubbed) soundtrack to be the "original" audio. Not sure who was responsible for that, but it is way wrong.

Having said that, I already rated it "higher" because I am giving this the benefit of the doubt, that the actors actually are able to communicate their feelings verbally. Unlike their dubbing counterparts - even so the characters are paper thin, the movie is filled with cliches and the characters almost always do the exact opposite of what a sane human being would do. Which is nothing new when it comes to horror movies ... but especially bad, when you have not much else going for yourself.

Which brings us back to my point: I just can't be leniant ... I can't just pretend this is good when it is clearly not - as a movie.

Released on DVD in the UK as Natural Born Killer, aka The Kiss of a Killer. The silly plot involves five bank robbers, a hotel for adulterers, Hungarian serial killer Bela Kiss and immortality! Yeap, it's certainly a melting pot but sadly it is also a mess. Incredibly boring first hour, then the gore finally arrives but it doesn't exactly redeem this tedious crap. Avoid, or just hit the ffwd button on the remote.

I often find that even the lamest of horror movies have one or maybe even two redeeming features that make them just about bearable, whether that be a gratuitous shower scene, hot bimbo sex, a dwarf with a machine gun, mutant flesh-eating rodents, or simply some cheesy OTT gore, like someone's eyeballs randomly popping out of their sockets.

Natural Born Killer opts for both a sex scene and a shower scene, yet neither of these elements make this film any more entertaining, both somehow failing to provide any nudity. The remainder of the film is as equally dull and disappointing, as five bank robbers check in at a remote hotel to wait for the heat to die down, only to find that the staff are a bunch of weirdos in league with notorious serial killer Bela Kiss, who has apparently found a way to prolong his life.

Veering wildly in style from standard teen horror fare to torture porn to art-house horror, Natural Born Killer (AKA The Kiss of a Killer, AKA Bela Kiss: Prologue) is a complete and utter mess: boring from start to finish (very tame gore and absolutely no little guys brandishing extreme firepower), it is one of the few films that I have had to rewind at least five times at various stages because I kept falling asleep.

Bela Kiss - Prologue is a very atmospheric low budget horror-thing from Germany. It is a strange movie, but worth a look. It's got great atmosphere, a bizarre story line, excellent editing and cinematography plus some decent horror and suspense. The serial killer Bela Kiss is very charismatic (Rudolf Martin fits great). At times I wondered exactly what kind of movie I was watching - it has a sort of art house feel to it in places, and at other times devolves to an all-out slasher. It's an odd style, but captivating for an hour and a half. The movies sums up the plot somewhat, but opens new doorways at the end. I'll probably watch the sequel, whenever it comes out. Looks like a decent story in the making.

6 points from me.