Little Witches

The joke should be about the same level of jokes you'll get here. Does not make much sense, does not have to of course, because there was more or less just one reason these movies were made. Still the title is really funny (sexual Witchcraft that is, as you can see in the picture/poster/cover and not Little Witches) and I'm surprised there aren't more movies with this title ... or even a series.

That aside this is mostly softcore erotica. I skipped or forwarded most those scenes, trying to watch a couple of them back to back in no time, to write the reviews. Still noticed hands being put on or rather covering where human genitalia would or could have shown up. But probably to so cover up some pads that were there I reckon. Though all that grinding ... I can't imagine the play pretend not being at least fun to do, let's put it this way. And they are all having fun and the story, as thin as it is, is also quite fun. Acting is not the best throughout, but again that is not why most are here for anyway.

Sexual Witchcraft (2011)

** (out of 4)

Fred Olen Ray cheapie about a witch (Christine Nguyen) who has yet to tell her new husband about her secret. Another witch (Holly Sampson) shows up and brings Cleopatra with her while a nosy neighbor (Michelle Bauer) tries to prove that they're all witches. SEXUAL WITCHCRAFT is about as good as you can get in regards to a softcore film that was obviously thrown together on a very small budget. Mr. Fred Olen Ray was certainly an expert at the time this thing was made and I do wonder if the hiring of Sampson was something to get the film more sales since she was in the news for the Tiger Woods scandal. Either way, the director clearly knows what people who watch these movies want and that's very little plot and a lot of simulated sex scenes with nudity. I will admit that I don't typically watch these types of films unless they feature a cult actress or come from a well known director. This film here is mildly entertaining in that it never takes itself too serious and instead of a heavy plot we're just given a lot of sex scenes with the majority of them being erotic. With that said, I still can't help but laugh at how silly and over-the-top some of the simulated scenes are. The cast is pretty good, although we're not really expecting Oscar-worth performances. Bauer appears to be having a blast as the nerd neighbor trying to prove her theories correct. Ted Newsom also appears and fans of his should enjoy the brief role here. SEXUAL WITCHCRAFT certainly isn't the work of Bergman but those wanting some cheap "B" entertainment should find it here.

Fred Olen Ray is a self-made filmmaker, the epitome of working his way up from Grade-Z indies to Grade-B, or maybe C.

Here we have an overacted attempted at simulated tv sit-com, namely "Bewitched", with simulated sex at its core. Watching it over a decade late, I was struck how Ray, who started out at the bottom, shooting an end-of-career John Carradine to use the footage in many a pasted-together movie (the way poor Boris Karloff was misused in the '60s at the end of his illustrious career) to end up graduating to ridiculously bland and corny Christmas features for the squeaky-clean Hallmark label.

From a porn point-of-view this is squeaky clean too. Cunnilingus is fairly accurately depicted without the close-ups, fellatio faked, and all the other standard positions like doggystyle and cowgirl present too. No money shots.

Casting is awful: lookalike brunettes to confuse the viewer and even lookalike blondes. Ray regular Christine Nguyen imitating Elizabeth Montgomery's witch fantasy routine is merely lousy. Randy Spears near the end of his porn career (only to be born again as a religioso) is embarrassing.

Most obvious element is a rushed ending plus lots of highlight footage and then a super-slow end credits to pad the movie toward acceptable feature length.

Of course, the pandering to genre fans, not Debbie Rochon for a change, but having Michelle Bauer of both softcore and hardcore fame ham it up as the cliched nosy neighbor is merely time-consuming.