You Hurt My Feelings

This is indeed a movie about feelings - the small stuff that feels huge, the little insecurities that loom large, the daily omissions that's pile up into dishonesty. And the thing is: every moment feels real enough to be recognizable and hilarious (and uncomfortable) all at once. And that's not just because I'm a middle aged guy who wants to be a writer and is scared to death his story/stories suck. This film felt relatable less because the circumstances mirrored my own and more because I'm a self conscious human. And my guess is we all are. This may not be a laugh at loud comedy, but it is about as relatable add it gets.

Well, I sat down for this one trusting A24, and it delivered more than what I asked for. It's a pretty simple drama alright, with conflicts not carrying the greatest of stakes. There's a sense of softness to the leads here, and they are, by nature, "good people". While it wouldn't have worked if that aspect was shoved down our throats, but the writing is careful when it comes to its subtleties. The lead performances are also great; the relationship equations between Beth and Don, Beth and Sarah, Mark and Sarah, the daughters' relationship with their mother, the couple's relationship with their young son - each of these were adequately portrayed. I loved the few scenes featuring the feisty, opinionated, and encouraging mother (Jeannie Berlin).

The other beautiful scene is the one where the couple resolve their key issue, and the dialogues are especially well-written in this portion. It's a realization that shared journeys (of life) mean a lot more than individual journeys. It's natural for spouses to think that they're unconditionally supporting each other in their efforts, but sometimes, it's difficult to convey your opinion without even hurting them in the slightest. All that said, there were a few elements that didn't exactly work, such as the badly sketched robbery scene and the one where Don randomly suggests a solution to a patient's family issue. But that shouldn't stop you from checking the film out. It has Julia LD reuniting with writer-director Nicole Holofcener after Enough Said, in a very candid role.

If you like Julia Louis-Dreyfus or Tobias Menzies, you may find this enjoyable to watch, as both do a fine job with their roles. Otherwise, this will seem like a slow way to spend a couple hours. The plot wanders around searching for a dramatic climax or a storyline that leads somewhere. However, it doesn't get anywhere in particular. It's much like a comedy routine that just wanders from one story to another. Not too surprising, as Julia Louis-Dreyfus helped make "Seinfeld" the somewhat chaotic program it was. Funny, often, but as a movie, it leaves me wanting a more structured story.

A better title would have helped too. Something more like, "How we offend people when trying to be supportive" would have been illustrative, albeit not as pithy. The one theme that did seem to be reinforced was scenery of New York, especially as experienced by privileged people. That was interesting for about 30 minutes, but then the movie needed to deliver more message, if it had hopes of being satisfying. I rate it a 5 for the fine acting of the leading characters, but no higher for lacking a better script and story development. The result looked like it needed refining to clearly communicate a message.

Sometimes it is good to go out on a date, and watch a movie that will not change the course of the night. It is neither hilarious or boring, just an interesting story that can happen to all of us, when we try to please our partner.

The cast is good, Julia Louis-Dreyfus can be funny without forcing it, so the movie flows well. The movie is flat, but not in a bad way, it is a good entertainment and goes fast, but you probably won't cry or burst out laughing. It is just a good movie, where you probably arrive and leave in a same state of mind, in peace.

There are some clever jokes, and some reflection about our own behavior, but nothing too deep.

Enjoy, without big expectations, just a good entertainment.

It was hard to figure out what exactly the takeaways were from this casually paced 2023 comedy, but director/screenwriter Nicole Holofcener appears to prefer it that way because she has a uniquely ramshackle way of depicting the messiness of life through her comically flawed characters. The meandering plot focuses on a tightly knit group of upscale Manhattan narcissists basking in a culture of positivity only to fall apart when each is confronted with honesty. That's what happened to the central couple when Beth, a marginally successful novelist, finds out her failing therapist husband Don hates her latest book draft but doesn't have the temerity to tell her. Julia Louis-Dreyfus starred in Holofcener's superior "Enough Said" and plays the novelist here with her trademark wit intact. The rest of the expert cast perform in a typical Woody Allen-like deadpan manner including Jeannie Berlin as Beth's irascible mother and Michaela Watkins (she reminds me of Kathryn Hahn) as Beth's acerbically evasive decorator sister.