Bermuda Island

Right, well I have to say that the movie's cover was actually interesting enough to make me stop and take the time to sit down and watch the movie. Sure, I had never heard about it, prior to watching it.

The storyline in "Bermuda Island" was pretty straightforward. In fact, it was a rather simplistic and generic storyline actually. So writers Sonny Mahal, Michael Mahal, Robert Thompson and Adrian Milnes didn't exactly deliver anything grand or overly innovative here. And truth be told, the narrative in the movie was predictable, generic and bland.

The acting performances in "Bermuda Island" was okay enough for what the movie offered. You're not in for anything grand, mind you. And the only familiar faces on the cast list were Tom Sizemore and Noel Gugliemi, whom both were killed off very quickly in the movie. Yeah, go figure.

The creature design in "Bermuda Island" was laughably bad. It was nothing more than people in obvious body-suits. And it didn't even look good. It was like something taken out of a poor man's Live Action Role-Playing event. It looked so fundamentally bad, that it took away my desire to keep watching the movie.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time on the movie. I just really isn't worth the effort. I managed to endure a staggering 45 minutes of the 86 minute runtime before I tossed the towel in the ring out of sheer and utter boredom. And trust me, this is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to finish watching.

My rating of director Adam Werth's 2023 movie "Bermuda Island" lands on a two out of ten stars.

This film is the worst I've ever seen in my life. The story, the plot, the cinematography, and the acting all indicate a director and writer with psychological issues. I've now confirmed that I won't watch any film unless it stars a respected actor who doesn't accept any scenario just for a handful of dirty dollars.

"This film is the worst I've ever seen in my life. The story, the plot, the cinematography, and the acting all indicate a director and writer with psychological issues. I've now confirmed that I won't watch any film unless it stars a respected actor who doesn't accept any scenario just for a handful of dirty dollars."

My experience with Bermuda Island left me somewhat perplexed. Let me be clear, it's evident from the outset that this is a production constrained by a modest budget. The performances are lackluster, the characters lack depth, and the storyline feels somewhat disorganized.

Regrettably, Tom Sizemore's presence in the film is fleeting, and his role appears disconnected from the main plot, seemingly interchangeable with any actor, which was disappointing, considering he's the lone renowned actor in the cast.

On a more positive note, the classic-style monsters featured in the movie pleasantly surprised me. While not of top-tier quality, the monster costumes were surprisingly passable, especially given the constraints of a small budget production like this.

Furthermore, the film's conclusion held an element of unpredictability, adding a layer of intrigue. While it didn't personally resonate with me, it undeniably introduced a plot twist. In my assessment, Bermuda Island comfortably fits within the 3-4 star range; I've certainly seen worse films.

A minute in, and you can't hear the dialogue because there is a beat in the background on loop. Fantastic sign. You increase the volume to hear the actor's mumbling. BAMM. A shootout and the sound effects are 500% louder than the dialogue. Fantastic. The title starts with music. Some sort of exposition is given through fake news reports. Can't hear it because of the music.

What I'm trying to say is that releasing films where the sound mixing was obviously done by a deaf person is an insult to your audience. I'm not asking for perfection, just basic competence.

Even a character exclaims "You've got to speak up!" at one point.

Okay, fine, the sound sucks. This is a movie called "Bermuda Island," what did I expect?

Tom Sizemore is in this. It's one of the 70 films he shot the last year before his death, and he looks rough. Like real rough. The other actors are unknown to me and for good reason. They play a motley crew that end up stranded on an island when their plane crashes.

Plot-twist, the island is inhabited by some kind of humanoid monster men, but are the real monsters or are the humans invading their island the real monsters? Yes, the monsters are the real monsters.

The island might be in the Bermuda triangle. The movie title suggests it, but I couldn't hear enough of dialogue to confirm it. It's amazingly bad and not in a fun way.

It says Action/Adventure as the genre here on IMDB, but it played out as a Horror/Comedy instead. The acting is abysmal and the creatures are hysterical, especially how they place a towel over their private parts while the actors are clearly wearing green rubber suits.

The blood looked laughably like spaghetti sauce and one thing I couldn't figure out was why most of the cast was noticeably overweight. Were they supposed to be a Weight Watchers group or something?

It was distracting because most of them were so large that I wondered if it was just a coincidence or if it had something to do with the story. In any case, I knew this was a mindless, mediocre film going in and just wanted something on to pass the time while doing other things. If you're looking to be scared or even for some suspense, you'll be sorely disappointed.

If you're looking for something to pass the time and laugh at while watching, this is a good choice. And there's some adequate boobies too. 2 stars for the unintentional comedy.