Elfie Hopkins

If you love films with literally no redeeming features, then Elfie Hopkins is for you. If, on the other hand, you are like me, and you enjoy written, well shot and well acted cinema then avoid like the plague.

The film focuses on angsty teenager Elfie Hopkins, played by sour faced 26 year old Jaime Winstone, who lives in a sleepy village in the depths of Wales with her father and step-mother. Her days seem to be entirely comprised of bickering with the step-mother and then smoking weed with Elijah Wood look-a-like Aneurin Barnard. When the village welcomes some new arrivals, the peculiarly named Gammons, Elfie's curiosity is piqued - are they all that they seem? What goes on behind the door's of this seemingly charming and cosmopolitan foursome? And why are the village's inhabitants steadily going missing?

The more relevant question is, why should we care? The answer, revealed over the course of what felt like 2 and a half torturous hours, but what was in fact just 89 minutes, is: we shouldn't.

The film opens with the eponymous Elfie driving her beat-up old car down a leafy Welsh Lane. We know she's cool because she's wearing John Lennon glasses and a knitted woollen hat. She finds a tree branch blocking the road, so gets out to move it; finding the car won't restart, she mutters an expletive under her breath and lights a cigarette. I've already forgotten that this is a woman at least 8 years older than the character she's supposed to be playing because everything about this scene is so real. The Gammons swoop by in their expensive looking 4x4 - they are sinister because their car and hair is black.

You know when adults try to write dialogue for teenagers and it feels like all those times that you and a friend were in the car with your dad and he kept using the word 'cool' and doing Ali G impressions? This is like an hour and a half of that. We are asked to believe that Winstone and Wood are the best of friends, bonded by their mutual love of weed and claustrophobic existence in this Welsh backwater, but at no point does their relationship seem convincing, and their conversations make the film feel like one long episode of skins. The chemistry is non- existent, and their scenes together only serve to enable to writers to introduce clunky plot- devices into the narrative ("Cripes Dylan, I can't believe I found this letter of acceptance to London University of London City in plain view on your desk and you weren't going to tell me about it?!").

There is only a token effort at characterisation: the step-mother is a cardboard cut-out of a succubus; Elfie is haunted by the demons of her past (including her dead mother); Elijah Wood is a nerd with glasses and curly hair; the Gammon man is a suave city-type who does yoga and wears lots of black; one of the Gammon children also likes black and shooting wildlife, while the other is kooky and dresses like a doll. None of these characters are likable because none of them are fleshed out beyond two-dimensions. They exist only to be a part of badly written dialogue and a poorly conceived narrative.

What I particularly enjoyed was the way that stuff was routinely shoe- horned into the film in the most hideously awkward way. Example: When a party guest of the Gammons is seemingly haunted by disembodied voices on his walk home and comes dashing back down the road screaming, Elfie, apropos of LITERALLY NOTHING, decides she needs to begin one of her investigations into the Gammons. Oh right, yeah, Elfie's an amateur detective: apparently everyone except the audience already knew this. When the 'investigation' fails to turn up any meaningful leads, the Elijah Wood character just announces that he has hacked into the computer systems of police stations in villages where the Gammons have lived. Of course we should have realised that he had that capability; he has glasses and curly hair, and a Packard Bell PC from the mid 90s, so it's on us to make those kind of assumptions.

Ray Winstone also makes a cameo appearance as a butcher who can't decide whether he is from East London, the West country or North Yorkshire, and ends up sounding like a cross between Ronnie Kray and one of the Wurzels. Try as Ray might however, there's simply no saving this train- wreck.

The film is at least shot in a beautiful part of the world, and autumnal colours prevail throughout, but personally I think the opportunity to use those colours to make the film more stylised and ethereal was completely missed. An other-worldly quality would have enhanced the film no-end, and made the unoriginal and tiresome twist, (which is thrust into the story with all the subtlety and finesse of Ray Winstone in stiletto heels) entirely more appropriate. Moreover making a remote Welsh village seem oppressively small is surely like shooting fish in a barrel, but at no point in the film is that sense of claustrophobia adequately conveyed. Finally the final scenes are gory and unpleasant, and are accompanied by incredibly jarring and inappropriate violin chords.

Basically this film doesn't know what it wants to be; it's not a teen comedy, or teen horror nor is it a twee indie flick; in the end the makers seem to have settled on that genre affectionately known as 'straight to DVD'.

I came across this title in one of the horror magazines I read and having a child called Elfie I saw this laying for a dumping price at a sell out of one of the HMV stores in London. What I did know was that people hated it or loved it. In between didn't exist.

Elfie Hopkins (Jaime Winstone) lives in a boring village on the country side and the only thing she does is getting a fight with her step-mother and doing investigations with her friend Dylan Parker (Aneurin Barnard) throughout the town and getting stoned together. Suddenly new neighbours appear, the Gammons and people disappear in the town. Both they start to do their homework on the Gammons.

What the film delivers is a lot of blah blah. It's only at 1 hour that we see what the Gammons really are. It's also the moment that a bit of black humour comes in with the severed ear for example or the waving with the arm but for many it will be too late to save this slow moving flick. It takes maybe 3 minutes and we move further into a lot of blah blah because nobody believes Elfie.

You can easily spot that Dylan is in love with Elfie and that takes an important part too throughout Elfie Hopkins. There isn't any gore or nudity to spot. It's just about two friends involving into a story they couldn't see coming.

Did I like it or hate it. It's hard to tell because it isn't for everybody due the talking and it do has a severed head here and there. On the other hand it isn't like Twilight were nothing really happens except whispering towards each other. And it isn't also an arty horror. Just one of those flicks that stands alone, maybe forget the first hour, it's from that point that it turns into a nasty thing.

Gore 1,5/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 2/5 Story 3/5 Comedy 1/5

This is much better than reviews would suggest. On a scale of 0-10 for flawed films where 0 = The Wicker Tree (flawed and bad), 5 = Ginger Snaps (flawed but good), 10 = Dellamorte Dellamore, aka Cemetery Man (flawed but brilliant), this rates 5 +/- 1, depending on what you think of the acting.

The film itself is well shot, well conceived and well executed. Compared to utter crud like Jeepers Creepers, this is in a different league when it comes to intention and execution. If Amicus produced Midsomer Murders, it could be something like this.

There are annoyances: poor dialogue, clichéd characterisation but also pleasant surprises: my heart sank a little when the film began with a girl (our heroine, a "final girl" right from the start: she just doesn't realise it) getting out of a car that won't start on a country lane. Nicely subverted when she walks a little distance and is home.

It is a first feature and has maybe a few too many references but, on the whole, its sly humour works well. I've watched an awful lot of crap horror in the so-bad-it's-good category: this is not one of those.

It's a proper film and is worth a look.

I never thought such a standard horror could be this pretentious. Surely all that is needed are a few thrills, jumps and please stop pretending to be anything different! Job done!

This is the most underrated work I have ever reviewed. I didn't look it up first so I didn't know what I was going to get. Seeing that this film sits at 3.8/10 makes me never to decide whether or not to see a film on account of the IMDb & the user's collective "wisdom" alone. Although 95% of the time I do completely agree with them. This though was something different that carried a sort of a 60's-70's feel/dark beauty, with the scenery & sets, the wonderful colorful outfits & even the time they took to construct Elfie's room right down to the smallest of things. So the scenery & cinematography are 5/5 which definitely helped to even out some of the weak areas in the film.

Getting back to the story now, a lot of people may compare it to Twilight mainly because of the dark & mysterious neighbors moving in next door, with the girl that starts to investigate the truth behind the obvious facade that they put forth, but wait, don't drop it from my previous observation. If anything it's a Twilight spoof but not the Scary Movie kind at all. It is a well told tale that is quite interesting from beginning to end. The imagery & cool vibe make it worth a watch. For the most part, the film was well acted despite the mostly novice cast. I really liked the character of Elfie Hopkins played by the up & coming Jaime Winstone, yes she is the daughter of Ray Winstone, the talent does seem to be genetic, it's undeniable, well at least in some cases.

Ray Winstone only pops up for a few seconds once in the beginning & once in the end which was cool to see them appear together on screen for a bit. So why this sits at 3.8/10 when there is a unique little story with cute characters whose acting in my opinion didn't stick out a bit with good sound & cinematography that was spot on, is a mystery to me. It has a decent amount of dark humor in it, it's not meant to be a serious, gory, scare the heck out of you film. Although there is some moments of gore & suspense it isn't really that dark a film as its main mission is of a more lighthearted story telling.

In checking the history of 3 of the other reviewers that gave this a 1/10, it was their first review in each case(which sounds personal to me) but the top two users gave it fair reviews so stick to them. I give this a solid 7/10 & I've written plenty(sorta)other reviews on films in these type of genre's in the past year. So you know who to believe, the other review by Tony Bush sums it up a bit better than I, and the mention of the boy & Harry Potter was spot on, I was thinking that during the entire film. I recommend it to anyone, just don't expect a tense gory experience. Even people that hate gore may very well still enjoy the story, just close your eyes for a few seconds here or there...7/10