The Tank

The news teased the viewers with an upcoming old school practical fx creature feature. Well, technically it is, but what we, monster movie fans, love about the genre is when you actually see the creature a lot. The Tank is terribly slow paced and only after one hour of dull conversations and flashbacks some limited action starts.

The monster: awfully generic and it's given a bit more screen time than in the trailers.

The writing: the plot is driven by dumb, absolutely illogical decisions of the characters.

True monster flicks fans will be disappointed.

If you're curious anyway, fast forward the first 60 min and don't expect much.

There are some good things about this movie - I don't mind the creatures and there were some creepy bits, but this is overshadowed by the ridiculous bits. Like pouring your super irritating chemicals into the water of a massive tank as if they won't just dilute immediately. Or wandering around in the dark wondering if something is out there while something out in the forest makes prehistoric noises that would scare the hell out of anyone. The most puzzling bit is the disappearing windows of cars. These disappear to let beasties in but then reappear when the danger is over. It is amazingly lazy filmmaking. I'm prepared to suspend logic for a horror but the disappearing window glass took it that step too far.

If you survive the first 40 minutes or so (of introduction) without falling into Morpheus's gentle and comforting arms, you get a pretty standard "horror" flick with some monsters, lots of stupid decisions, in the end I rooted for the beasts. The Tank tries to be something like The Descent but can't compete on any level - production, story, thrill, acting, everything is inferior to The Descent. The premise of The Tank is not that bad, maybe even interesting, but the execution is, well, just boring. Recommendation: if you want to really waste some time (like I did), maybe with the notion that you are immortal and you have a lot of time to waste, put The Tank on your menu, if not, watch something else.

How are movies like this still being made? Movies that offer absolutely nothing new or creative in any way. I get that there are only a finite amount of ideas for a story out there, but even if you're doing something that has been done before you can at least put your own spin on it. 'The Tank' is as bad as films get.

I don't want to be too harsh on this film, so I'll just list a few of the things I didn't like without going into too much detail. I thought the creatures weren't very impressive visually and they conveniently only attacked when it was necessary to the story. Otherwise they would just sit there making gargling sounds. Also the film puts a child right in the middle of the story who is extremely annoying and also guarantees the safety of certain characters. There is nothing that kills the tension in a horror movie more than kids.

The dialogue is bland and completely lacking in creativity, the movie doesn't know how to build tension in a scene, the setting isn't scary and the acting is poor. I did not like this film. A generous 2.5/10.

I went into the movie without any knowledge of what it could be. So without any expectations i started it.

It had a pretty slow start. But still interesting to see it evolve. I always love to see unknown monsters and mysterious sounds in movies. Good scaring moments throughout the movie. So i have to say it was surely good to watch if you have a vivid imagination.

Overall it is not one of the best horror movies i have ever seen. But if you have nothing to do, this is a great one to see with some friends and some snacks and drinks. Or maybe a new friend that you met and want to have a chill evening.