The Black Knight Returns

I could not make it through the first 2 minutes without turning it off. So this review is for the first 2 minutes only.

2/10 stars is sufficient to tell you:

1) The movie is not worth the time I just wrote this. But I am writing this so that you will not watch more than the 2 minutes.

2) If you believe this was a grade school assignment, then it is definitely merits 2 stars for sheer effort.

3) If anyone who was involved in creating, producing and selling this movie are to read this, please try doing something else for your own sake.

This movie makes me long for Ed Wood.

The only reason I want info about this middle school grade movie is to track down the people who made this movie and have their Internet cut off.

This is NOT YouTube..... Delete it from IMDb. (I don't care if they're paying customers.)

I'm forced to write a whole ten lines about this to have it accepted as a review. I could write 10 lines but they'd get me banned from here in the blink of an eye.

Here are a few things wrong in the 1st 2 minutes: - No sound effects in the opening fight scene. Well, there is, but only between music clips. - The main bad guy has so many festering pimples, I wanted to woof my cookies. No.... it isn't makeup. He even has a few scabbed over on his ear lobes. - My 10 year old made his own costume for Halloween that was better (really). They should have hired him. - Instead of running away from a discovered bomb, they have time to gaze into each other's eyes, hold hands and wait for the explosion. But it makes sense if it was suicide for being suckered into acting in this movie.

It is sad that so few have posted so little. The movie, while being far below A quality,still reflects a few simple things. They were able to find funding. The people poking jibes about their kids being able to do better,or clowns could do better,should seek better employment to back up their claims. The main reviewer should don his make-up and get to work. It is easy to point and cast insults when your sitting on your backside,parked in front of a comp, and fisting Cheetos,all in the name of FILM NOIR!

I found the movie lacking in several respects,but I also recognize that many directors have similar products,bad or poorly constructed, but still learn from such. Uwe Boll comes to mind.

I do feel the film could have benefited from a bit more computer enhancement to say the least,but I have never found a reason to talk down on a director or actor because they lack skill. I do not have the skill nor aptitude to do better,I am sure nor do the other derogatory posters.

I do hope the director has learned from his project and grows from it. It is sad that people who post responses to a movie cannot seem to do the same.

review scale inadequate for what i want ... 5 out of ten is averaging a 10-and-1 score

i actually enjoyed this beast and hope they do a sequel that maintains the awesome cool ... the incredible Chinese-opera fight scenes, the absolute tongue-in-cheek totality of the thing together with the curious sincerity of the soap opera ... dunno ... if this kind of thing is your bag, u want to see this

that's it in a quick-food-to-go pack

but to be posted i need 10 lines of text, the host site advises

so let me say further that they need to vamp the mad dichotomy vastly further, like the best of the cartoon world(s) or Vonnegut or Kafka or anyone when they're hot ... this baby got mid-warm on the average, but nevertheless with my very high overall praise

special hat-tip to the human vocal quality

also to the US$20,000 budget ... shot in the contemporary LA area ... good job, that

repeat ... i seriously enjoyed this flick

A film like this was obviously great fun to make but to watch it you gotta be something special. The main points of note are the special effects, I have seen better from total amateurs on youtube. And the time dilation effect generated in your brain, this movie should be played to criminals in jail that way a 10 year sentence would seem like 100 years and with no repeat offenders. The writing is OK the acting isn't so bad, so if the budget was a bit higher this movie could have been worth watching but mostly its not. So if you have a choice of 90mins extreme torture or watching this movie think very carefully how you want to spend the time as its a close call between the two choices.