Hermandad de sangre

Sorority Row seems to be receiving a lot of bad press for the same reasons that all slasher flicks seem to garner - it's clichéd, the characters aren't likable, the plot isn't handled well, the set-up is botched, blah blah blah. OK, these ARE fair points - there exists within this movie one too many "Hello, is anybody there?" moments, too many "Don't go in there!" moments, and let's be honest, they could have quite happily pinned the entire thing on someone else and gone to police instead of covering it up.

However, to complain about those things would be to complain about the entire purpose of the slasher genre. Besides Scream, Hallowe'en and Black Christmas, there is not a single slasher that has a shred of believability (and even Hallowe'en doesn't - Michael Myers is the boogie man for goodness sake!). We go to see slasher films to watch people get killed and don't pretend otherwise. These situations do not happen in real life, why expect any level of realism in the film?!?

So why bother going to see this? Primarily, for the kills. Out of the 10 or so murders, I'd say but only 3 are gratuitous and 2 of those are badly set up. Again, it's the same old story of bimbo/drunk frat boy wandering where they should know not to. But for the 7 or so others, they rock! The manslaughter at the beginning is pretty twisted, yet I, and many others got satisfaction watching one of those twits from The Hills getting offed and thrown down a mine shaft. Following on, a "pimped up" tyre iron is implemented to cause as much gore and depravity as possible: bottles, mirror shards, cars, flare guns, axes, fire-extinguishers, shotguns and the bird cane from the original all are used at some point to bring the death count to a total Rambo would be proud of. One of my favourite set-ups in the movie comes after the party, when they are aware that somehow, someone knows about their little secret. In an intense scene involving many bubbles - because in the World of the Greek Letters, you are more likely to find a jacuzzi than a room full of mannequins - one of the 5 get caught out in it. The build up ranks with that of Annie in Halloween or CC in Scream 2 - after the girls receive another threatening text, they realise that one of their names was missing from the list and before they know it, the missing girl is running, screaming through the courtyard towards them. Although the scares are few and far between, that scene had me ducking. The murder weapon, that tyre iron, is set to become iconic if it garners any sequels (which, undoubtedly it will).

The main characters may not be the most interesting, and two of the girls really are just plain boring, but there are 3 who stand out in my mind: Jessica, Cassie and Ellie. Jessica, the bitchy queen, is played with fervour by Leah Pipes: she relishes every mean phrase, never misses a chance to put someone down, and when she stumbles across the dead body of a sorority sister, her first remark is "God, she looks terrible!" delivered with a dead pan attitude that just rocked. The fact that, unfortunately, she is governed by a bloke is a shame, but she redeems herself towards the end, staying true to her bitchy, selfish nature. Ellie, although a walking cliché in a horror movie, is played really rather well by Rumer Willis. A girl falling apart at the seams as she tries to cope with her part in the accident, she goes from slightly shaky to worried to paranoid to hysterical to catatonic. Yet she maintains some integrity and humour and has quite possibly the funniest moment during which the girls are trying to stop her from finding out that Megan just might not be dead. Finally, Briana Evigans is such fun to watch. Although her character has no right to feel better about herself over what happened and she certainly is no Sydney Prescott or Laurie Strode, Briana brings out of Cassie a feisty, tough girl who can actually be rooted for towards the end. The other 2 VERY good reasons to watch this movie are as follows: gratuitous cat fights (in a burning house with a psycho killer running around none-the-less!) and Carrie Fisher blowing her kitchen to smithereens with a shot gun, all the while taunting the masked killer with lines such as "Come to Mama."

All in all, Sorority Row is not a good film but it is sheer entertainment. What it lacks in plot and credibility it more than makes up for in style. it's also the first remake that I've had pleasure watching due to it's total carelessness of where it's origins lie. I'd give it 6 out of 10. (yes I am aware I've awarded it 10 out of 10 but that's because I feel bad that morons would mark it so harsh on its lack of plot... seriously)

Sorority Row, a 2009 horror-thriller directed by Stewart Hendler, follows a group of sorority sisters who become the target of a masked killer after covering up an accidental death. The film stars Briana Evigan, Rumer Willis, and Carrie Fisher, and while it boasts a cast with potential, the movie often falls into the clichés typical of the slasher genre. Despite its predictable plot and standard jump scares, Sorority Row delivers some effective suspense and a few memorable moments of tension. The film's commentary on sisterhood and guilt adds a layer of depth, but ultimately, it relies heavily on formulaic horror tropes. Fans of classic slasher films might find it a fun, if unremarkable, addition to the genre. But if you're simply looking for a fun cheesy horror, then perhaps this could be something you'd enjoy.

Oh no, a guy is cheating on one of the Theta Pi sisters! Good for them they have a prank lined up for some prime revenge. Too bad said prank ends with one of them dead. To make things worse, a hooded slasher is after them after graduation.

Last year, we got a remake of "Prom Night" that ended up being one of the worst horror remakes of the decade, and committed a cardinal sin-a PG-13 slasher movie. Well, look at "Sorority Row" (a remake of the 1983 slasher flick "The House on Sorority Row") as the movie the "Prom Night" remake should have been-the anti-"Prom Night" remake if you will. It's not a classic, but nobodies expecting that now, are they?

So, what works?

For one thing, while not a splatter flick, there are some impressive kills available, as well as a sweet murder weapon that has potential to become iconic. Also, the performances are fun. Carrie Fisher is a hoot to watch (her role is a bit too minuscule though) and unlike say "I Know What You Did Last Summer", this movie makes no bones about the fact that most of these characters are unlikable and deserve their fates. The best surprise as far as acting is concerned is Leah Pipes as the bitchy leader of the sorority sisters Jessica. She's a blast to watch, and plays the part without overacting or overdoing her character. In short, she steals the show as far as I'm concerned. The movie does have it's flaws-it's a bit too flashy at moments, at times could have done a little more with it's R-rating (there's nudity, but none of the lead girls gets naked? For shame!) and the final ten minutes could have definitely used some work.

Nags aside, "Sorority Row" is a fun guilty pleasure. Sure, it's more catered towards a teen audience than hardcore horror fans, but come on, most slasher flicks have been catered to a teen audience. Besides, in an age of pointless PG-13 horror, 3D gimmicks, unnecessary sequels like "Halloween II" and "The Final Destination", horror flicks that try to hard to be hardcore, and horror flicks that try too hard to cater to horror fans (I'm a hardcore horror fan, but occasionally that can get annoying), a piece of unapologetic slasher fluff goes down easy.

Plus, any movie that opens with girls in PJ's with their asses exposed jumping up and down can't be all bad.

A group of sorority girls pull a cruel prank on the brother of one of their brethren. They wind up taking the prank too far, and it goes terribly awry when one of them is killed. Fearful for their futures, they decide to dump the body down an old shaft and keep what happened a secret. Time passes and it seems that they've gotten away with it, but a hooded killer shows up on the night of their graduation party to pick off those involved.

I am not the biggest remake fan. I outright skip many of them, though I'm not as vehement in my stance as I once was. In fact, a few have actually been catching my interest more and more as of late, the other most recent example being The Uninvited, a surprisingly well-done adaptation of a somewhat overrated Asian title. Then there is Sorority Row, which garnered my attention for two key reasons; A) I am an unapologetic slasher fan and B) Margo Harshman has a role in the film.

With that said, I really enjoyed Sorority Row. I did a double-bill with Whiteout, and thankfully I decided to watch this one second, as it washed away the foul taste of that nonsensical mess. For slasher fans like myself, Sorority Row had a feeling of "old school" to it. The storyline setup, the atmosphere, the wild sorority parties... it felt like old times. Old times that were witnessed via 80's slashers, of course. Some pretty inventive kills in here too, just like in the glory days of the slasher film. No repetitive Scream or IKWYDLS type kills. And really, if you're a slasher fan, the kills are half of the fun. I also have to say that I enjoyed the dialogue in this film. It was always spot-on with the wit, always funny in a dark humor sorta' way. I actually had the opposite reaction to the characters, as the girl playing Cassidy annoyed me. Her voice just grated on my nerves for some reason. The queen bitch was a joy to watch. I thought she was thoroughly amusing. As for Margo, she was stuck with the thankless role of the group slut, but she brought her own brand of deadpan humor to the part. Her lacking amount of screen time was my biggest disappointment with this movie.

All of that aside, the killer's reveal was also disappointing. The motivation just wasn't resonating with me, and some of the theatrics seemed too in line with the lame Scream brand of villains. Still, the rest of the film was so much fun, I can't help but recommend this to other slasher fans. If you like this kind of film, give it a chance. If you don't, well, I doubt you'd be reading this far anyway. It's a slasher film, plain and simple, and one I'd give the ol' slash of approval.

This film is nothing original.

But then what teenage slasher film is. And for that reason only I give this film 7 out of 10. I feel giving a movie of this style a poor review is cutting it short for the credit it should get. It is well shot, the death sequences are well put together and inventive, there are the comical moments, characters you hate and can't wait to meet there makers and the who is the murderer guessing game.

Don't get me wrong the film is not special, it's no Oscar nominee and has so many plot holes it is swiss cheese but what you do get is a fun slasher flick that won't let you down as long as you don't expect too much from it.