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All I'm saying is that no author, nor their estate, would willingly hand over the rights to their work to The Asylum; what was manga artist Hino Hideshi getting out of the deal that he made with Pony Canyon to adapt several of his stories? Did he have no care as to how the end products would turn out? A couple instances ('Zoroku's disease' and 'Dead girl walking') were fairly strong, but the others ranged from middling to awful. The films were very obviously provided with scant resources, and while we could possibly blame the respective filmmakers, writers, casts, and crews for fumbling the proverbial ball, that so many were equally tepid suggests that everyone was also denied the time and opportunity to tell these stories in a manner that would let them flourish. Then again, I'm not familiar with Hino's oeuvre; maybe the source material is just as troubled. One way or another, "Hino Hideshi's theater of horror" is a sorry mixed bag in every regard. And 'Occult Detective Club: The doll cemetery' sadly fits right in.

At some points the direction and acting are terribly stilted, some examples are outright amateurish, and at nearly all times they readily betray the ham-fisted artifice. Only Miwa Hitomi consistently comes off well with her committed performance. The production values are low generally, which is theoretically fine, but at some points the fundamental image quality is so glaringly bare-faced as to be all but painful on the eyes. Composite shots are outrageously transparent in their falsehood, computer-generated imagery is woefully outdated, and even the practical effects range from "okay" to "they're kidding, right?" I suppose there are some workable ideas in the writing, but the plot is emphatically strained and unconvincing and struggles to hold even the smallest amount of water; nevermind suspension of disbelief, this is just so flimsy as to be awkward. True enough, I appreciate some facets like the production design and art direction, and the music. These elements don't get us very far, though. And still I can only hope that Hino's manga is more smartly crafted than this cinematic adaptation, because as it presents the narrative suggests to me some decent imagination but no capability to draw the ideas together into a cogent, cohesive whole.

With so much being so questionable in these fifty minutes, it very much seems to me that making this into a "live-action" feature was but the first in a long line of mistakes, and much of the tawdriness here flows from that one folly. There are worse ways to spend your time. There is some value here, perhaps - but not remotely enough to earn a recommendation, or even to give another thought to the movie. Given all due careful consideration, and every chance to render 'Occult Detective Club: The doll cemetery" in the form that would serve it best, maybe I'd find more to like. As it stands, regrettably, this is tiresome and stops just short of actively aggravating, and one is better off just not bothering in the first place.